


The Clinic

by RexWolfe



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2018-09-13 04:57:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 51,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9107578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RexWolfe/pseuds/RexWolfe
Summary: In 1885 there weren't many female surgeons in Britain. After four years with the British Army, Major Berenice Wolfe finds her way to The Clinic where she meets Senior Surgeon Serena Campbell, who captures her mind and soul. An AU piece inspired by a Bramwell post on Tumblr. Vintage Berena includes as much canon scenes and conversations as possible. Will be rated M in later chapters.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on ffnet
> 
> The idea behind this came from a post I saw on Tumblr of Jemma Redgrave as Doctor Bramwell and Catherine Russell in something set in a similar period – does anyone know what that is? And of course, the fanfic writer in me went to crazy town and I began to think about putting Bernie and Serena in the Thrift. This piece, I have a feeling it's going to be quite a long fic, is the result of weeks of daydreaming and lunch hours. I'm having a blast and I hope you enjoy it. There will be other familiar faces, some will work at the clinic and some will have different jobs within this new world I've put them in. Some will be younger, some will be the same age as they are in the show. Just so you know, Bernie is 29 and Serena is 30.
> 
> This is my very first AU so do be kind. I do have a fascination with the Victorian period in British History so I hope that a lot of what I write will be historically accurate. However, if there's any other history buffs out there that notices anything that I've got wrong, come school me! Though I must point out that there are some things that I've had to allow some 'artist freedom' to fit with the Bernie and Serena as we know them.
> 
> Anyway, I'm officially on two weeks leave from work. Get in! So I'm heading home to spend Christmas with my family. This means, more time for writing. Look out for lots of updates for this and Collision. Which is actually the main reason why I'm posting this now. That's what happens when you're on a train for 3.5 hours heading North.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it and please remember to drop me a review or PM to let me know what you're thinking. Merry Christmas everyone! xxx

Chapter 01

Being a female doctor in 1885 was not easy and yet Berenice Wolfe wouldn't change it for the world. There had been more than a few people in her life that had tried to push her in other directions. Marriage and motherhood being the main avenues. Bernie, as she was fondly known as, wanted none of it. She had no desire to ever be tied to a man, to be told what to do or to be restricted to keeping a home for her family. It was all frightfully dull compared to what she grown used to.

Two weeks ago she had returned from Africa where she served as Head Field Surgeon for the British Army. She had been surprised at how easily she had been accepted by the soldiers. It seemed that when it came to war, the young men didn't care who held the scalpel as long as they came out alive on the other side. As time went on, she became somewhat of a mascot to the men. She had even been given a full position and left Africa with Major on her dress uniform. Rather unusual for a woman.

On her return to Britain, her Commanding Officer had offered her another post in Africa but as she had been station there for four years already, she felt it was time to return to Holby. Her reunion with her family had been joyous to a point but their only questions for her were to do with marriage and children. Marcus Dunne, an old friend whom she had gone through training with at the general hospital, had sought her parents' permission to ask for her hand in marriage. They had consented. Despite wanting to catch up with her old friend, she had avoided him for fear he would propose.

Things began to look up for her future in Holby when her father, the one who had supported and encouraged her endeavours, told her about a small clinic in the centre of Holby's most industrial area. Publicly funded by wealthy donors, it served the poor at no cost to the patient. No one asked questions, no one was turned away. Everyone who stepped through the doors was treated equally no matter the state they presented themselves in. Her father had told her that there were currently two doctors with ample surgery experience between them, one trainee doctor, a Head Nurse and four nurses. They had been trying to recruit an experienced surgeon for months but the ones worth having were not willing to give up the big pay packets or the social standing the large general hospitals offered. He suggested it might be the perfect place for a surgeon who had returned from war. Bernie couldn't have agreed more.

It was on a rainy November morning that Bernie found herself making her way to the clinic her father had spoken so highly of. She had worn her dress uniform which gained her a few stares as she passed various men and women but she hoped it would give her an edge with the surgeon in charge at the clinic. While she had been accepted into the army, there were very few men who would accept her as a fully qualified doctor and surgeon in Holby. Perhaps her references and rank would outweigh her sex.

The clinic was not at all what she expected. Only a little larger than a school house, the place was spotless but ill equipped for any kind of trauma surgery she would expect to see from an industrial area. There was a waiting room that was already full to the brim and an archway that led to what she assumed was the in-patient ward. The wooden beds she could see were full but she was pleased to see that the sheets were at least clean. There were offices facing the waiting room which she assumed were not only the staffs administrative spaces but were also consulting rooms. Perhaps even the surgery theatre if the place really was as small as it appeared.

A young man walked into the waiting room in a white uniform she didn't recognise. The small red cross on his breast pocket assured her that he was a member of staff at the clinic and she quickly headed toward him.

"Excuse me," she drew his attention to her and he stopped.

"You one of our donors?" he asked with a frown.

"No" Bernie shook her head. "I was hoping to speak with Doctor S Campbell. I saw his name on the plaque as I came in. Is he the Head Surgeon?"

The man smiled and shook his head slightly as if she'd said something funny. "Yeah that's right," he scratched the back of his head. "Doctor Campbell's in that office there," he pointed toward a closed door. "Only one in at the minute so go right in."

"Thank you," Bernie said with a brusque nod before heading straight to the door he pointed to. She knocked loudly against the wood and a woman's voice replied.

"Come in!" She shouted.

Bernie slipped inside and looked around. A woman had her back to her, she was busy looking through various jars and vials on the shelves behind the desk.

"Take a seat Mr Davis and I'll be right with you," she said.

Bernie let out a little impatient sigh. "Not Mr Davis I'm afraid," she said in a loud an stern voice she usually reserved for difficult soldiers. The woman turned to look at her, a startled expression on her face.

"I was expecting my next appointment," the woman snapped.

"I was told to come straight in," Bernie snapped back.

"Well if you want an appointment then I'm afraid you will have to return tomorrow. We're full today," she answered with a dismissive nod. She turned her back again and continued to search through the jars as she had been doing when Bernie arrived.

"I'm not looking for an appointment," Bernie held her ground. "I'm looking for a job."

The woman stopped what she was doing and looked up at her. "We already have enough nurses..."

"I'm a surgeon," Bernie interrupted even though she wasn't sure if she still wanted the job. "I'm a fully qualified doctor and have served the last four years as a surgeon in Africa for the British Army, three of them as Head Field Surgeon."

"Really?" the woman's voice was dry, as though she were humouring Bernie but the lift in her eyebrow was a sure sign she now had her full attention.

Bernie took a deep breath and stepped toward the woman, offering her hand in a sign of 'peace and friendship'. "Perhaps we should start over," she suggested.

The woman looked at her hand for a moment before a smile broke out on her lips and she shook her hand. "I'm Doctor Serena Campbell, Senior Surgeon."

"Ah!" Bernie returned her smile and laughed a little. "Major Berenice Wolfe." She tightened her grip on Serena's hand, she felt overwhelmed at meeting another female doctor. "It's not very often I meet other female doctors."

Serena smiled. "I think you're my first Major."

Bernie laughed at that. "I think I'm the only one."

Serena leaned into her slightly, her eyes conveying conspiracy. "Hopefully not for long," she smirked. "Once we have the vote there's no stopping us." Bernie looked into Serena's eyes, her smile was contagious and she found herself smiling too. Perhaps in this woman she may find a kindred spirit.

It was at that moment that Bernie realised they were still holding hands. She looked down at them at the same time as Serena. She was the first to snatch her hand away for which Bernie was grateful. She didn't know if she could have. "Do you have your references?" Serena asked as she made her way toward her desk. Bernie followed but remained on the other side of the desk, glad there was something in between them. This feeling was not unusual for Bernie, she'd felt it before but never with someone who was barely an acquaintance.

Bernie quickly fished her references from her bag and handed them over. She expected to be made to wait while Serena read each one but instead she sat at her desk and nodded toward the door. "Perhaps you would like to see Mr Davis while I read over these?"

Bernie knew she was being tested but she found to her surprise that she didn't mind. In fact, she looked forward to showing off just how good she really was.

Mr Harold Davis was the perfect patient for her to do that. He worked at the Steel Factory and had been injured trying to fix a piece of faulty machinery. He was a family man in charge of supplying for four children, his wife and his elderly mother. He needed his job now more than ever. The bones in his index finger were shattered beyond repair, the rest of his fingers poked out a weird angles, their bones protruding from the skin.

"Mr di Lucca is our resident specialist at amputation," Serena supplied from behind her desk while Bernie was assessing the extent of the man's injuries.

Mr Davis looked over at Serena in horror and turned back to Bernie. "Please miss, I can't lose my hand miss," he begged.

"Doctor," Bernie corrected him as she leaned in further to get a better look at what she was dealing with. "And I see no reason why we need to amputate the entire hand."

"You can save it?" He looked hopeful. "I need my job, miss... er Doctor. I can't lose my job."

"Doctor Wolfe we don't have the resources..."

"I didn't in Africa either," Bernie said. "But my job was to return men to the battle field and I was very good at it. I will return Mr Davis to the Steel Factory too."

Serena looked a little surprised but instead of arguing she nodded. "Show me what you can do," she said.

Bernie nodded and turned to Mr Davis. "Mr Davis, we're going to need to do surgery now."

Serena had called for Doctor di Lucca who had been resting at home after his night shift to cover the patients in the waiting room. Bernie knew that if this operation failed it would cost her the chance to work at the clinic. But she was never one to back down without a fight and she had no intention of losing this one.

"The index finger is too damaged to save," she said, looking up at Serena who was ensuring Mr Davis remained unconscious. The other woman had been watching her every move as she worked.

"You're saving the others?" She asked.

"You saw me re-set the bones Doctor Campbell," Bernie said as she prepared the tools she needed to remove the index finger. "We will bind the fingers and put his arm in a hard cast. Given time and exercise, he should have full use of his hand."

"Even without his index finger?" Serena raised an eyebrow.

"If there's one finger we can do without it's the index. Grip comes from the outer fingers and the thumb; he can still use a pen, pick up a knife and fork, do up his buttons. We can learn to function without it." It didn't take much to remove the finger in question, the bones had crumbled and all that kept the finger attached was the skin on his palm. "Not everything is so easily thrown away."

"We don't have the experience or resources to allow the time for this," Serena said.

"You do now/" Bernie looked over her mask at the other woman.

Serena raised an eyebrow and even with her own mask in place, Bernie knew she was smiling again. "I haven't given you the job yet," she reminded her.

Bernie laughed. "I was yours as soon as you saw me reconstruct the first finger."

"Mine?"

Bernie laughed again. "Imagine the possibilities." Serena's eyes widened at that and Bernie wondered if she'd gone too far. The other woman looked a little flustered.

"If you're nearly finished, I'll stop the chloroform and get you some plaster for the cast." Serena's abrupt change of conversation told Bernie that she had indeed gone too far. She needed to remember that she was no longer in the army now. There were social conventions to adhere to.

"Yes I am," Bernie said, watching Serena quickly dash from the room. While the other woman was gone, she prepared the hand for dressing. She thoroughly cleaned the sutures and bound the fingers.

"Here you go," Serena said as she entered the room again. The plaster was already mixed in a small bucket which didn't sit well with Bernie. Serena must have seen her hesitation. "It's kept in a sterile place Doctor Wolfe, you have nothing to worry about."

"I'm just used to preparing my own," she said. "Perhaps you can help me with this?"

"You don't need my help," Serena said quietly.

"No I don't," Bernie said, picking up the first piece of cloth and dipping it into the plaster. "But two sets of hands make faster work than one. We want to be finished before he wakes up."

Serena hesitated a moment before rejoining Bernie at the operating table. "We can't pay you what the army paid you," Serena said suddenly.

Bernie smiled. She had the job.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my word! Have you seen the spoilers for tomorrows episode? I feel like I need to scream or at the very least talk about it! Why can't it be Tuesday now? I hate waiting. Waiting sucks...
> 
> ... anyway... look at that, chapter 2 is up! Woohoo :) Thank you to everyone that had read this and reviewed. To all those that have added me to alerts and this story too. I'm just so grateful to you all! You guys are awesome. I really mean that. I've been in lots of fandoms and the Holby/Berena fans are amongst the nicest I've ever met.
> 
> In this chapter and the ones to come will begin to show some familiar faces so I hope you like it. I'm still having a blast writing this and I hope you guys continue to enjoy reading.
> 
> I've just started a Berena blog on tumblr under the same name I use here so if anyone is over on tumblr, please do stop by and say hi. Oh and let me know if your blog is a dedicated Berena blog cause I'll definitely follow it!
> 
> Thank you all again. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and I'll see you again soon!
> 
> xxx

Chapter 02

Bernie arrived at the clinic an hour before she was required. She wanted to gain an understanding of how the place worked and familiarise herself with the layout.

"Good morning Doctor Wolfe," a young black woman said with a bright smile.

"Good morning," Bernie replied as she attempted to mask her surprise. It wasn't very often one met a man or woman of colour in Holby. Bernie had spent the last four years with African men and women and she had discovered that they were not the savages people led you to believe. She'd grown very close to a few of the local women and despite their physical differences; there really wasn't much that separated them.

"I'm training to be a doctor under Doctor Campbell," she said. "She told me you were stationed in Africa. I would be honoured to learn from you too."

The young woman's English was perfect, nothing like the broken English with which the women in Africa used. It was clear to her that this young woman had been born in Holby and that perhaps her family had made their fortune here.

"A keen mind and a willingness to learn," Bernie observed. "What is your name?"

"Oh!" the young woman blushed. "Here's me going on and on and I haven't even introduced myself." She laughed. "I'm Mrs Morven Digby."

"Well Mrs Digby, would you be so kind as to show me around the clinic?"

"I would be honoured Doctor Wolfe," she smiled again. "Or should I call you Major Wolfe? Doctor Campbell wasn't sure either..."

"Bernie is fine," she said without thinking. Morven looked slightly taken aback and once again Bernie had to remind herself of the social standards she had grown used to not caring about. "Doctor Wolfe if you prefer," she quickly added.

Morven looked relieved and smiled. "Follow me, Doctor Wolfe."

As it turned out, the clinic was a little larger than she first thought. There was storage space in the attic which was checked twice a day and cleaned every two days. It was the best place for surgical supplies but Bernie worried what would happen if there was an emergency. The attic space wasn't very accessible in a hurry.

The area she had seen through the archway held ten wooden beds for patients. Morven explained that occasionally, a patient had to be sent home earlier than they would like to make room for other patients. It wasn't ideal but they had no other option. Unless the building next door went up for auction at a cheap rate, they would have no chance of expanding.

The washroom was connected to the offices so that the surgeons could easily access running water. Linen and bandages were washed daily by a group of women whom Morven described as 'having once lost their way.' Many had been prostitutes but there were women who had lost their husbands to industrial injuries and had been made homeless. Doctor Campbell had stepped in with opportunities to help these young women get back on their feet and build a future for themselves and their families.

"She helped me too," Morven continued after she'd introduced Bernie to a few of the women on duty.

"How so?" Bernie asked.

"My husband, Arthur, was a doctor and he was training me up as his assistant. Said I had a head for medicine," she grinned, her shoulders lifted playfully.

"And what happened?" Bernie asked.

Morven's face became serious and she looked down at the ground. "He died a year ago," she said sadly. "Cancer."

"I'm sorry," Bernie whispered.

Morven smiled slightly. "Arthur insisted we come to Doctor Campbell. There wasn't anything she could do for him and looking back on it, I think he did it for me. We had to stop my training when he started to get bad but Doctor Campbell stepped in after he died. I would have given up on medicine if it hadn't been for her. Turns out she trained Arthur for a while too. He kept saying she would look out for me. He was right."

They continued on their tour of the clinic. Morven was explaining the drop in system when a kind faced gentleman walked in and made his way straight toward them.

"Good morning, Mrs Digby," he greeted, taking off his hat and bowing a little.

"Good morning, Doctor Hanssen," Morven smiled again. Bernie had to admit that the young woman's smile was infectious. "Let me introduce our newest surgeon..."

"Doctor Berenice Wolfe I presume," they shook hands. "My name is Doctor Henrik Hanssen, I'm a founding Patron of this establishment and I am the primary administrator and fundraiser."

"Ah yes," Bernie smiled. She remembered Serena mentioning an administrator the day before.

"One of my first priorities is to fund your residency here," he said, taking out a small pocket diary from his breast pocket. "Would one week to Thursday be sufficient?"

"One week..." Confused, Bernie looked to Morven but the young woman had already drifted into the background. She turned back to Mr Hanssen. "For what?"

"If we are to keep you I assume you will require wages," he said in a dry tone that left Bernie wondering if he was mocking her. "The surgeons here are required to fundraise for not only the clinic but for their wages. The clinic is funded completely by wealthy patrons who wish to alleviate the guilt we throw on them for not doing enough to help the poor. You will come and meet them, woo them. They won't reach into their pockets if they don't like you."

"Oh I..." Bernie wasn't very good with people. Her independence and strong minded thinking were not usually something that people found amenable. In this case, perhaps honesty was the best route to take. "I'm not very sociable. I'm not sure these donors will..."

"Nonsense," Hanssen smiled. "You're an attractive young woman, you're skilled and you were a Major in the British Army. I can assure you that the donors will be very taken with you indeed."

Bernie paused. "Am I to understand that you wish me to use my attractiveness as a selling point?"

"Doctor Campbell will talk you through it," he smiled. "She's very good at securing donations."

"I'm sure," Bernie mumbled.

"Speak of the devil," Hanssen nodded toward the door.

"And she appears," Serena said loudly as she entered the clinic. She wore simple clothing, a beige skirt and white collar shirt under a cream jacket. Her cloak was hooked over her arm, her hat and doctors bag in the hand of her other arm. "I see you've already met."

"Mr Hanssen was just informing me of our upcoming fundraiser," Bernie glanced toward the man who seemed unaware of the situation he had created.

"Ah," Serena glanced at the man too, picking up on what had happened immediately. "I had hoped to be here when Mr Hanssen told you."

"Perhaps I should leave you both to it," he smiled awkwardly before making a quick retreat into the nearest office.

"Am I correct in thinking that I should utilise my looks in order to receive my wages?" the more she talked about it, the angrier she felt. "There's a word for that and I believe some of the women in your washroom have fortunately retired from that profession."

"No one is suggesting that Ms Wolfe," Serena said patiently. "Come with me," she indicated for her to follow and they headed for the attic. Once up there, Serena led them to a small door that opened out onto the roof.

"Why are we up here? Bernie asked.

"I thought some fresh air might do you good before you start speaking to our patients," Serena said with a stern look.

Bernie let out a sigh. "I'm sorry," she said after a moment.

"No need," Serena brushed it off. "Henrik means well but sometimes he can be a little too straight forward."

"Something we have in common," Bernie smirked. She paused for a moment and made her way toward the edge of the roof. She sat on the short wall and looked down at the people hurrying around on the street below. "I'm not very good with people," she repeated what she'd said to Hanssen just a few moments ago.

"Come on," Serena smirked at her and Bernie frowned. "You were the Head Surgeon with the British Army, don't tell me that you didn't socialise with the eligible young men abroad."

Bernie laughed at that. "I don't think I can very well behave as I did with my regiment. I think it would only serve to have me run out of town." She looked down at the ground for a moment, considering her words before looking up at the other woman from under her eyelashes. "Unless that is your intention Ms Campbell?"

Serena smiled and moved toward the wall so that she could sit down next to Bernie. "Look at any of the old men like that and we'll have your wages and mine settled for years to come!"

Bernie shook her head and laughed at the ridiculousness of it. "Who knew the lengths doctors would have to go to in order to save a life."

"It's the oath we took," Serena bumped her shoulder against hers.

"And one we both honour," Bernie nodded.

"As this is your first one," Serena said in a slight teasing tone. "We can go together."

"Is that appropriate?" Bernie smirked.

"Wear something salacious," Serena laughed. "And pin your medals to your bosom. They'll be so intimidated by a female Major with the British Army they won't quite know what to do with themselves."

Bernie laughed. "I doubt Mr Hanssen would take too kindly to that," she said.

"Are you frightened, Major?" Serena smirked and winked. "I wouldn't have thought a big macho army surgeon would back down..."

"I'd be careful if I were you," Bernie smiled. "You're attacking my honour."

"I'm not as fragile as I look," Serena smirked again. "I grew up with three brothers and I never lost a fight."

"I picked up a few moves from my friends in the regiment that even your childhood scraps wouldn't save you from," Bernie smiled when Serena laughed.

"That's the fight you need to survive here," she said, getting to her feet and offering her hand to Bernie. "You'll do just fine in the clinic and if you keep the fire I see burning behind your eyes, you'll be a smash hit with our donors."

"You can talk anyone into anything can't you?" Bernie asked as she took Serena's hand and allowed her to pull her up from the wall.

"It's what makes me such a good fundraiser," she smiled and wiggled her eyebrows.

"And a good friend?" Bernie asked, noticing that once again they kept hold of each other's hands far longer than necessary.

Serena's smile faltered just a touch. "We'll see how you do here," she said, dropping her hand to her side. "This clinic means a lot to me. I've put a lot into it and I've lost a lot because of it too. Help me... help us to keep this place up and running. Then we can talk about being good friends."

"You drive a hard bargain Doctor Campbell," Bernie smiled. "I can see this place has its challenges and I feel you should know something about me."

Serena's eyes filled with worry. "What is that?"

"I love a good challenge." They shared one last smile before Serena led the way back down to the clinic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh the flirting though! I couldn't help myself. I blame Serena/Catherine – it's all their fault!
> 
> Thanks for reading and please let me know what you're thinking.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out the speed on that! Updating two fics in such quick succession. I wish I could be on holiday all the time so that I can just spend all my time writing about Serena and Bernie. I mean, it's just delightful!
> 
> Thank you again for all the support and encouraging feedback. You are honestly just the nicest people and I adore you! Big kisses all round. I hope this chapter lives up to expectations and I'll try to get another update out as soon as I can!
> 
> Now I have to go have bounce around a trampoline with my nephew. The things we do to keep the 'Best Auntie' title... and I don't give two fucks that I'm his only auntie I still want that title! I'm basically auntie softy. Wrapped around his little finger. The twat.
> 
> Happy day everyone! xxx

Chapter 03

A challenge was one thing; a train accident was an entirely different game. Bernie had been at the clinic for a few days now and she had discovered that while Serena was friendly, it was obvious that she had been telling the truth about them being friends. She didn't quite trust her yet and though Bernie understood, she couldn't help the feeling in the pit of her stomach that desperately wanted the other woman to like her. Serena had insisted that Bernie be eased into life at the clinic and had only allowed her to perform minor surgeries and carry out checkups on their current in patients. Bernie wondered at times if the woman was particularly hard on her or if she was always likes this with new people. After meeting Doctor Raf di Lucca for the first time, Bernie understood from his very readable face that Serena was perhaps acting a little more harsh than she normally would. She wondered what she'd done wrong.

By the Tuesday Bernie was growing impatient at her treatment. Even Morven was becoming confused and frustrated at not being allowed to work with her yet. It all changed of course when a young boy ran into the waiting room.

"There's been an accident!" he shouted. "We need doctors!"

"What happened?" Morven asked, running out from the offices.

"Train came off the tracks," he said. "You have to come miss!"

"I'll get the doctors," Morven said as she ran into the ward. "Doctor Campbell, there's been a train crash. They need help."

"Thank you Morven," Serena patted the woman's arm. "You and Fletch keep an eye on the patients and tell everyone in the waiting room to go home and come back tomorrow."

"Yes Doctor Campbell," Morven ran to find Fletch.

"Doctor di Lucca," Serena called the young surgeon over. "Get some supplies and instruments, there's been an accident on the train tracks."

Bernie had been watching from the seat she'd taken by the bed of an elderly woman suffering with bed sores. She finished wrapping the clean bandages and kindly smiled at her. "You're doing very well, Mrs Cummings," Bernie said and she received a toothy grin in return. She covered the woman in a warm blanket and headed over to Serena. "I'd like to help."

Serena smiled. "Thank you, Doctor Wolfe but Doctor di Lucca and I have it covered," Serena said, taking hold of the bag that Raf handed to her. "Come along Raf, we must be quick."

Raf looked awkwardly between the two woman and Bernie had to admit she was a little confused. "I think Doctor Wolfe's experience might be useful to us Serena," he said after a moment.

"We need to have a surgeon here in case of an emergency," Serena said with an air of finality.

"Then I'll stay," Raf said, handing his bag to Bernie. "I know what I'm doing here, I don't out there. It's better to have two experienced surgeons on hand."

"But I..." Serena began but Bernie was already heading for the door.

"Come now Doctor Campbell, we don't want to keep those in need waiting do we?" She fled from the clinic, the boy running after her and shouting directions.

It took them quite some time to get to the tracks, too much time if you asked Bernie. They needed a faster way of travelling if they were to be of any use in an accident such as this one. Serena had explained that they couldn't afford to take a carriage there so they had no other choice than to run.

"My goodness," Serena said trying to catch her breath when they arrived. "When they said there had been an accident..."

"We need to get started," Bernie interrupted. The boy that had taken them there was still standing close by. "You there," she called to him. "I need you to carry this for me." The boy made a face and Bernie smirked. "There's a bob in it for you if you do everything I ask."

"Make it two and you got yourself a deal," he said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I'm sure there are other little boys around here that will do it for one..." Bernie made a show of looking around and the boy ran forward.

"Alright," he said, snatching the bag from her. "Robbing me blind you are."

Bernie smirked at Serena over his head. "See you on the other side," she said, indicating that the boy follow her as she ran toward the first man.

Carnage was a word that sprung to Bernie's mind half way through treating one patient who had lost both legs. Serena wanted to save them all, to see to every man that she came across. It wasn't the way this kind of trauma worked. She watched from where she was as Serena tried to revive a man whose stomach lay on the ground next to him. She was wasting time.

"We've done what we can for this one," Bernie said to two men that had been working on the tracks. "I've stopped the bleeding and given him something for the pain. Keep him warm. If he's still alive when we're finished here, we'll take him back to the clinic. His wounds will need taking care of to prevent infection." The men nodded in understanding and one of them knelt down next the injured man. She could hear them both talking to him as she made her way toward Serena.

"Help me," she said as soon as she realised Bernie was nearby.

"He's gone," Bernie said, trying to pull the other woman away. "There are others that need your help."

"I told him I'd get him home," Serena looked up tearfully.

"And you gave him hope before he died," Bernie pointed out. "It was the right thing to do."

"It was a lie," Serena said bitterly.

"Sometimes it's kinder to lie when they're dying," Bernie lifted the blanket that pooled at his waist and covered the man's face. "You need to prioritise those we can save."

"We can't just let some of them die," Serena said.

"Some of them are dead already. No miracle or medical assistance is going to help them. The time you spend on someone like that is time wasted helping someone who could survive," Bernie said with a bite of impatience. "We prioritise those that have a chance."

Serena looked conflicted. "I don't know if I can do this..."

"On the roof you told me you need fire to survive here," Bernie said, resting her hand on Serena's shoulder. "Don't tell me yours has gone out."

Serena looked down to the ground for a moment and took a deep breath. She looked up again and nodded. "Lead the way, Doctor," she said as she took one last look at the man she couldn't save.

There were 34 men in total, 17 had died at the scene and the rest were now waiting to be treated at the clinic. Mikey, the boy that had carried Bernie's medical supplies around the tracks had followed them back. He seemed rather keen on helping out even more. Serena was treating a man who had severe burns to his face and upper torso. He would be scarred for life but he would at least live. Despite his injuries, he was upbeat and positive. Bernie hoped his jokes and bright outlook would cheer Serena up.

"Ain't ever been treated by no woman before," the man with no legs said as Bernie sat down. "You know what you're doing?"

Bernie smiled at him. "Considering you're still alive after a double amputation, I'd say I'm doing just fine."

"You did this?" He asked in surprise.

"I wish I could have saved them but there was too much damage," Bernie explained as she unbound his wounds.

"Mates said a doctor helped me," he said, watching her carefully. "Didn't say it was a woman."

"Then thank your friends for recognising me as a doctor over a woman," she smiled at him when the man frowned.

"No offense miss," he shrugged. "It's just unusual."

"Hopefully there will be a day when it won't be," she said, taking a good look at the work she did earlier in the day. "What's your name?"

"Tom," he said. "Tom Marsh."

"Well Mr Marsh, your wounds are looking good considering the conditions we were under when I performed the surgery," she began to clean up the congealed blood from the stitches. "I think we got to you just in time."

"Not a lot I can do with no legs now though," he said with a sigh.

"Can you read and write?" She asked. Mikey appeared at the side with the fresh supplies she had sent him off for. She smiled at him and then began to bandage Mr Marsh's legs again.

"Aye," Tom said. "'bout the only good thing my old man did for me was sending me to school."

"Perhaps the train company could use someone like you to help in the offices?"

"They likes gentlemen in their offices," he said. "And what gentlemen won't do, they gives to women."

"We'll find you something," Bernie said confidently. "I'm sure of it."

Just as Bernie was finishing up, Morven appeared and was eager to take over. Mr Marsh seemed less than pleased at having a black woman continuing his treatment but before she left, Bernie gave him another dose of morphine. He was almost asleep by the time Morven took over. Mikey, it seemed, was suddenly nowhere to be seen in the clinic and Bernie made a mental note to write to the train company to find out who the boy was so she could pay him the bob she promised.

When Bernie headed for the offices she saw Serena had finished with the burn victim and seemed to be making a beeline for the offices ahead of her. Bernie quickly cleaned up and tore off her bloodied apron before following her. She found the other doctor sitting on a box of jars in the corner of the room. Her head was in her hands and Bernie could tell from the slump in her shoulders that she was exhausted.

"Please don't tell me there's someone else I need to see today," she said without lifting her head.

Bernie pulled up a chair from the desk nearby and sat in front of her. "The people that are left can be seen to by Mrs Digby and Doctor di Lucca," she said. "I was going to suggest that we head home and get some rest while we can."

At that Serena lifted her head and looked up at her with a smile. "I think that's the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me."

Bernie laughed. "Then you haven't lived my dear Doctor Campbell," she patted the other doctor on the knee.

"I don't think I have the energy to walk home," Serena sighed.

"Get your things together and I'll call for a carriage." Bernie stood up.

"We don't have the money to be calling for carriages," Serena said as she stood up too.

"I do," Bernie said over her shoulder.

"And I presume you would be awfully offended if I refused?" Serena laughed.

"No one is holding a gun to your head," Bernie said as she opened the door. She turned back to look at Serena and winked before she left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The flirting again?! You ladies should be ashamed of yourselves *whispers* Don't stop... :D
> 
> Teehee. Anyway, thanks again for reading and as always I'd love to know your thoughts xx


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boom! Updates coming out of my ears! As well as this, I have just updated Collision and I hope to have some prompts out at some point today too over on tumblr. I'm still accepting prompts so ask away and I'll see what I can do. I'm having a blast writing for things you guys are throwing me.
> 
> Anyway, here's the next chapter. I hope you enjoy it and that you are looking forward to what is coming next. I have lots of plans for this, it's going to be quite a long fic but I hope you will continue to enjoy it. We meet Elinor and Edward in this chapter – which is a bit of a surprise to Bernie...
> 
> Just in case there are people reading this that haven't already Collision I just want to say HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope you have a happy and healthy 2017!
> 
> Thanks to everyone that has read and reviewed this fic. To everyone that has added me to alerts and shared it. You're awesome! Berena fans are the best!
> 
> Xxx

Chapter 04

"Please come in for a night cap," Serena said as she stepped out of the carriage. "I think after the day we've had, we both deserve a glass of wine."

"Just one?" Bernie asked as she followed.

"It would be a waste to open a bottle and only drink half of it," Serena smirked.

"I am in agreement with you my dear lady," Bernie laughed.

The front door to the house was opened when they reached the top step. A young woman with dark hair greeted them with a smile and helped them both out of their coats.

"I'll get you your drinks, miss," she said with a slight curtsy before disappearing down the hall.

When Bernie looked over at Serena she noticed that the other woman looked suddenly distracted. "You have a beautiful home," she said as she followed Serena into the living room.

"Thank you," she smiled but it didn't reach her eyes. Bernie noticed how uncomfortable she seemed and wondered briefly if she shouldn't have taken up the offer. Had she changed her mind? Was she just being polite?

"Is everything alright?" She asked after a moment.

Serena sighed and put on a smile. "Just fine," she said, offering Bernie a seat by the fire.

"Do you live here alone?" The house was big enough for a family.

"No I er..."

Before she could elaborate on who else lived in the luxurious home, a booming voice met their ears. Bernie jumped up from her seat and stood beside Serena, who had tensed at the sound.

"Serena?" the male voice was right outside the door.

"I'm sorry..." Serena whispered quickly before the doors flew open.

"So you're home then," a tall man with dark said. He was a little older than them but the way he looked disapprovingly at Serena, she was in no doubt that this man was her husband. "Your daughter has been asking for you. Where have you been?"

"I'm sorry Edward," Serena began quickly. "There was an accident at the tracks..."

"You are a wife and mother now," he interrupted. "You can't be spending all your time with these commoners! You should be at home running this house and raising your child!"

Bernie wanted to leave, this wasn't an argument to be had in front of guests. At the same time, she wanted to stay for Serena's sake.

"What kind of a lady will she grow up to be if she sees you running around playing doctor?" Edward fumed.

"Playing?" the word was out of Bernie's mouth before she could stop it. "You think that saving lives is play time for her?" She knew she had made a mistake the moment Edward turned on her.

"Is this another one of your causes Serena?" He sneered. "They're getting more and more needy with each one. She'll get bored of you, you know," he said to Bernie. "She likes to be the saviour but once you're on your feet she'll move onto some other poor creature."

"I beg your pardon?" Bernie felt her blood boiling. "Excuse me, Mr Campbell but I am Major Berenice Wolfe of the British Army." She took some satisfaction at the surprise on his face. "I have just started my job as surgeon at the clinic and today your wife saved a man who we had to pull from a pile of burning coal. She doesn't just save lives, Mr Campbell, she rebuilds them."

"Doctor Campbell," he said, lifting his head slightly.

"Excuse me?" Bernie asked.

"You will address me as Doctor Campbell."

Bernie laughed, she couldn't help herself. "You're a doctor?"

"Stop this," he said, looking down his nose at her.

"I'm sorry," she said, covering her mouth with her hand to prevent more laughter. "I find it hard to believe that any good doctor, any doctor of substance, would berate another doctor for doing their job."

"She is my wife," he said through his teeth.

"And she is a doctor," Bernie said. "She can do it all if only she had the right sort of support."

"How dare you..."

"Here are your drinks, Mrs Campbell," the young maid had entered the room at the right time. Everyone jumped back, the anger momentarily hidden behind a veil of propriety.

"Thank you, Elsie," Serena said quietly. "Just put it here." She pointed to the table by the couch.

"Typical," Edward scoffed. "We haven't even had dinner yet and already you're drinking."

"Please Edward..."

"I expect this woman to be out of our house when I come down for dinner," he said before he turned on his heel and stormed from the room.

Bernie scoffed. "Is he always like that?"

"You need to leave," Serena said suddenly.

Bernie looked at her and she could see the tears forming in her eyes. "Serena I'm sorry..."

"No," she shook her head. "Please don't... You have nothing to apologise for. I should never have brought you here..."

"You haven't done anything wrong," Bernie reminded her.

Serena looked down at the ground. "The people I bring here... they're not causes..."

"You don't have to explain anything to me." Bernie cut in. "I've spoken to Mrs Digby, I know you helped her and her husband. I may have only known you for a short time but I know that you're nothing as your husband described."

"I think it best you leave," Serena was already moving toward the door.

"Serena wait..." She caught the woman's hand and pulled her around to face her. "Your husband does not own you. No matter how he behaves, this is your home too."

"Try telling him that," Serena scoffed.

"Gladly," Bernie said, cupping her hand between her own. "Over and over until he understands it."

"It will be a life long job," she said.

"Then perhaps we will get lucky and he will die before us." She wondered if she'd once again gone too far until Serena laughed.

"I don't think I have ever been that lucky," she said.

"Well I have," Bernie laughed. "Perhaps my luck will rub off on you."

Serena looked up and smiled. "You've been a better friend to me in one day than any of my longest friends," she said. "Why are you being so kind?"

Bernie shrugged. "I like you," she said after a moment. "I haven't had many female friends in the last four years. Especially not ones that understand my career choices. I don't plan on letting you go before I have gotten to fully know you."

Serena rolled her eyes. "That shouldn't take too long," she said with a laugh.

"Mummy?" A little girl appeared in the doorway and Serena's face lit up as soon as she heard her voice.

"My darling girl," she said, crouching down on the ground and wrapping the little girl in her arms when she ran toward her. "Oh how I have missed you!"

"You saw me this morning," the little girl laughed as she hooked her arms around her mother's neck and allowed her to pick her up.

"And it was such a long time ago!"

Bernie felt herself smiling as she watched Serena with her daughter. It didn't come as a surprise to her to find that the other woman was so good with children. But she couldn't deny that she was stunned to discover that she had a husband and a child.

"Who is that?" The little girl pointed toward Bernie with a frown.

"This is my friend," Serena smiled. "She's a doctor too and her name is Berenice Wolfe. She's also a Major with the British Army." The little girl's eyes lit up with wonder at that.

"Were you in Africa?" She asked.

"I was," Bernie smiled.

"Do you have any medals?" She asked, glancing at her mother with a big smile.

"Yes I do," Bernie replied. The little girl glanced around, it was clear that she wanted to see them for herself. "I don't have them with me but perhaps I can bring them with me next time?"

She nodded with enthusiasm then slowly turned serious. She looked over at Bernie with a slight frown. "Were you brave?"

Bernie felt herself flush at the little girl's question. She'd been called brave many times, by the people she left at home and by the boys she met in the field. But she never thought of herself as being brave. She had a job to do. And she did it to the best of her ability. "I was told I was," she said after a moment.

Serena kissed her daughters cheek and smiled at her. "I think she must have been to be out in Africa. Don't you?" The little girl nodded.

"Are you staying for dinner?" The girl asked suddenly.

"No," Bernie glanced toward Serena. "Not tonight."

"Mummy, I want the Major to stay for dinner," her eyes filled with tears.

"I think your father was looking forward to a family dinner tonight," Serena said softly into the girl's ear.

"But she is your friend," the little girl argued. "Father always says his friends are like family. That means the Major is family too."

"Can't really argue with that," Serena mumbled, looking toward Bernie with a slight smile.

Bernie knew she should have fought harder to leave for Serena's sake but the truth was she didn't want to. She wanted to stay, she wanted to get to know Serena a little more. To get to know her daughter.

They had all been seated around the dining table when Edward arrived. Bernie could see how nervous Serena was by the way she continuously tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. Thankfully Elinor had filled any awkward silences with stories from her day at school.

"Father, did you know Doctor Wolfe is a Major with the British Army?" Elinor shouted excitedly as soon as she saw him enter.

"How many times, Elinor? This obsession you have with the military is unnatural and I urge you to get it out of your head," he sat down at the head of the table and glared at Serena. "I wish you wouldn't encourage her. The military is no place for real lady."

His words were not lost on Bernie but she managed to keep her mouth shut. She didn't want to make matters worse for Serena. Elinor, on the other hand, didn't have such worries.

"But Major Wolfe was in the army and she's a real lady," she said with a frown. "She wouldn't have been able to be a doctor like mummy if she hadn't been."

"Change the subject Elinor or you will go to bed without dinner," Edward began. Bernie had to bite her tongue to stop herself from arguing the child's case but she needn't have worried.

"I haven't done anything wrong!" She said but before she could continue, Serena leaned down and whispered something in her ear. Elinor scowled and crossed her arms over her chest. Serena looked up and smiled nervously at Bernie.

As dinner went on, Bernie wanted nothing more than to pick Elinor up, grab Serena's hand and pull them away from the horrid man at the head of the table. She could already see the change in the two women when he entered a room; especially Serena. She seemed so different to the woman she'd climbed out of the carriage with. Little Elinor still had some fight in her and she never wanted to see that fire stamped out of her. She would do everything in her power to stop that from happening.

Bernie watched but barely listened as Serena politely questioned her husband about his day, praise and love displayed at all the right places. Just like a proper wife should. Bernie occasionally smiled or rolled her eyes discreetly at Elinor in the hopes of cheering the girl up. By the time Edward announced he was retiring for the evening, the little girl looked mildly happier.

"Off to bed with you," Serena said to her daughter.

Elinor frowned. "But I didn't get to talk to the Major at all!"

"Another time," Serena said after a moment.

"She won't come back," Elinor said sadly. "No one comes back after they've met father."

"I will," Bernie interrupted, taking mother and daughter by surprise. "If you'll have me?"

"I'm not sure Edward..."

"Please mother!" Elinor begged Serena who in turn looked over at Bernie.

"Or perhaps once I have my own lodgings here in the city, you and your mother can visit me?" Bernie suggested instead.

Elinor bounced in her seat. "Oh can we mummy? Please can we?"

"As long as Ms Wolfe doesn't mind," she said as she smiled over at Bernie.

"I would be honoured to have you both as my first guests," Bernie smiled back. She was so focused on Serena that she hadn't noticed Elinor had left her seat until she threw her arms around her neck.

"Elinor!" Serena berated but Bernie shook her head and lifted the little girl onto her knee.

"Will you tell me all about the military?" Elinor asked.

Bernie made a show of thinking over the girl's request. "Only if you do something for me first," she said and Elinor nodded enthusiastically. "My family and my friends from the military always called me by a nickname. Would you do that for me too?"

"Oh yes, Major Wolfe," Elinor grinned. "What do they call you?"

"They call me Bernie," she said in a whisper but she knew it was loud enough for Serena to hear.

"Bernie?" Elinor laughed. "Isn't that a boy's name?"

"Elinor, watch your manners," Serena admonished.

"I suppose it is," Bernie laughed as she brushed the little girl's fringe away from her eyes. "But it's how I'm known to my friends and my father. It would make me very happy indeed if you were to call me that too."

"Mummy calls me Ellie sometimes," Elinor said with a smile. "Would you call me Ellie?" Bernie nodded with a smile.

"Bernie and Ellie," Serena laughed. "What adventures you'll get up to."

"Maybe someone will write stories about us!" Elinor squealed.

"Then we'll need someone to document everything we do," Bernie said. "I think you, my dear Ellie, should be our historian as well as Lead Explorer."

Elinor smiled over at her mother. "I will need new paper and a good pen mummy."

Serena smiled. "We'll see about that," she said. "Now off to bed or you won't have the energy for adventuring."

Elinor hopped down from Bernie's lap and ran to kiss her mother on the cheek. "Goodnight mummy," she said. "Goodnight Bernie!"

The door slammed behind her as the little girl skipped out of the room. Bernie laughed and turned to Serena. "She's very much like her mother."

Serena blushed. "She's very taken with you," she said quietly.

"The Wolfe's are known for being entirely irresistible," Bernie smirked.

"Quite," Serena looked away.

Bernie knew she'd over stepped many boundaries tonight. She looked away and sighed. "I'm sorry, she said quietly. "Perhaps I should leave."

"No," Serena said softly. "I'd rather you didn't."

Bernie looked up to see Serena smiling at her and she felt a small flutter in the pit of her stomach. "Never the less," she sighed with regret. "I know I have made things difficult for you tonight."

"No more than usual," Serena said as she rolled her eyes.

"I meant what I said," Bernie said as she stood up and moved into the seat Elinor had vacated next to her mother. "I'm looking for my own lodgings and once I find them, I want you and Elinor to be my first visitors."

Serena laughed softly and looked away. "You don't wish to stay with your family until you're married?"

Bernie gave a full laugh, unable to stop herself. "I won't ever be married," she said with a shake of her head.

Serena looked up at her with surprise. "You sound very certain of that."

Bernie nodded. "I have no desire to be bound to a man," she said.

"Maybe you just haven't found the right one," Serena smiled.

Bernie gave a nervous laugh. "I doubt I ever will."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cause she's a big gay! Hahah.
> 
> I know that Serena is the complete opposite to how she really is around her husband in Holby City but this is Victorian England and things were a bit different. I wanted to show Serena as we know her at the clinic and show the difference in her at home. But don't worry, with Bernie's help she won't be like that for long... :P
> 
> I hope you're still enjoying this and please remember to let me know what you think. Virtual hugs to you all xxx


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Well, sorry for such a big delay in updating this fic. After last week's episode I felt a bit down and wasn't really up for writing for either of my fics. But after writing Stars I felt a little better and wanted to get a new chapter out for this. Collision will be coming soon but I'm finding it difficult to write so you may need to wait a little longer for that one. I'm sorry! Plus, I'm going back to London tomorrow so I've been spending some quality time with my family where I'm not to them from behind my laptop. Shocking, I know!
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I had a lot of fun writing it and it was fun to write in a little moment from Bramwell too. Gold stars to anyone that spots it :P
> 
> Thank you everyone that read this, everyone that has left a comment and everyone that has added me to alerts or followed and shared any of my fics. You're bloody brilliant you lot and I adore you!
> 
> I'm still working on my prompts so don't fret if you've sent one in and I haven't posted it yet. They're on the way :)
> 
> Xxx

Chapter 05

"What do you think?" Bernie asked as she stood in front of the mirror, a green dress held up against her chest.

"I hope there's a man you're trying to impress with these new dresses," Margaret Wolfe said from her place on Bernie's bed.

Bernie rolled her eyes and looked at the dress once again. "The aim of this evening, mother, is that there will be many men who will be impressed with me," she mumbled as she put down the dress and picked up the second.

"For marriage, Berenice," her mother stood up and made her way toward her. "You better get a move on or no man will want you."

"Maybe that's the way I want it," Bernie turned to look at her mother.

"You can't wear that one," she said as she pulled the dress away from her daughter. "Red is not a colour for a virtuous girl. The green would be much more appropriate."

"I like the red," Bernie pulled the dress back. "Red reminds me of my military dress jacket."

"And that is not appropriate for a young girl either!"

"Then it's a good job I'm neither young nor a girl," she said as she turned back to the mirror. Serena said wear 'something salacious' and whether or not the other surgeon had been serious, she decided that that was exactly what she wanted to do. The red dress was off the shoulder, cut lower across her bosom than was proper and it dipped between her shoulder blades, showing a portion of her spine. She smiled to herself.

"You'll be the talk of the town," Margaret said with a shake of her head. "How will your father ever show his face at the club again?"

"I think you're more worried about yourself than father," Bernie said as she turned to look at her mother. "Father has never cared what people said about me but you did. I'm sorry to be such an embarrassment to you." She was angry but she knew she shouldn't have risen to her mother's bait.

Margaret's face was red from her own anger. "You are an ungrateful girl, Berenice!" She shouted.

"Ungrateful?" Bernie was aghast.

"I have arranged countless parties and dinners in your honour to give you the freedom to work your way up the social ladder," she said. "You should be married by now, you should have your own home and children to look after. You should be..."

"I never wanted any of those things!" Bernie argued. "You have never, not once, asked me what I wanted."

"It's not about what you want!" Margaret snapped. "It's about doing what is right and settling down!"

"What on earth is going on in here?"

Both women turned to see Howard Wolfe enter the room. His kind face was a stark contrast to Margaret's stony one. Even as a child, Bernie never truly understood what brought these two together. She saw no real love between them. It was only when she was older that she found that both her grandfathers had been in business together. It was agreed the oldest of their children would be married. Bernie had always felt rather sorry for her father. If only her mother's sister, Mabel, had been born first. She had suspected her father and aunt had harboured feelings for each other for a long time now. It was part of the reason Bernie had avoided her mother's arranged parties. No matter what happened in her future, she wouldn't allow herself to be committed to a marriage of convenience.

"Your daughter is determined to live life like a man!" Margaret marched her way over to Howard. "If you hadn't encouraged her to follow in your footsteps she would be married by now."

"It's not his fault," Bernie pointed out. "I don't want a husband. I never have, mother. I want a career and to help people."

Margaret's lips thinned and she turned to look at her husband. "Talk to her Howard, make her see sense!" And with that she stormed out of the room.

Bernie sighed and looked over at her father. "I'm sorry," she said softly.

"You know how your mother feels about your career," he said as he made his way toward her. He grasped her by the shoulders and pulled her toward him. She smiled as he kissed her forehead and held her against him. "Perhaps you can try to appease her. I know you do not wish to be married but if you at least attend a party or have tea with someone of your mother's choosing then perhaps she will be a little easier to bear."

"Are you telling me how to manipulate my mother?" Bernie smiled up at him.

"It has served me well these last 30 years," he chuckled.

"I think the best thing I can do father is to continue with my plans to find my own home," Bernie said as she pulled away from her father. "Mother and I got along much better when there was a sea between us. Perhaps living in different homes will also help."

Howard laughed and shook his head. "The only thing that will truly appease your mother is an announcement that you are engaged."

"Well I can be engaged father," she smiled at him over her shoulder. "I can be engaged with a patient, I can be engaged with a Patron, I can..."

"Very funny, Bernie," Howard sat down on the bed and looked at his daughter. "Isn't that dress a little low?"

Bernie sighed. "No father," she said as she looked at him through the mirror. She smoothed the dress down and smiled. "It's perfect."

Her father smiled and stood up. "You are perfect," he said, kissing her temple and heading for the door. "I'll send Kate up to help you dress."

-x-

Bernie stood at the top of the stairs, her back pressed against the wall as she listened to her mother and father talk to Serena in the hallway. She was nervous. She wondered for a moment if she should change. Perhaps her father was right and the dress really was too low. She looked down at herself. Her small breasts were pushed up in her corset, her cleavage on display in a way that she'd never done before. She had placed her medals over her left breast and even in the dim light of the hallway, they glimmered from hours of polishing. Her hair was still so short from when she'd cut it in Africa that Kate had purchased a hair piece to twist into knots at the back of her head. Tendrils spilled down across her shoulders. When she'd looked at the finished product in the mirror, she'd surprised herself.

"The carriage is here miss," Kate said when she spotted her. "Why are you waiting here then?"

"I'm nervous," she smiled at the young woman. They had become good friends before Bernie left for Africa. Kate had been new to the house and being only a few years younger, they had become like sisters. Kate knew everything about her. They had lay together at night and discussed things that Bernie wouldn't dream of telling anyone else. When Kate had enquired over her dress, Bernie had told her what Serena had said. Kate had merely smiled and said 'best make sure you're the prettiest lady in the room then'.

"Is that her?" Kate asked, peeking around the wall and looking down the stairs. Bernie quickly pulled her back. "She's pretty."

"She'll see you," Bernie whispered.

"Well you can't stay up here forever," Kate crossed her arms. "If you don't go down there now, I'll tell them you're hiding."

"You're a wicked woman Kate," Bernie stuck her tongue out at her.

"You always said wicked women have more fun," Kate smiled. "Now go down there and show off how beautiful you look."

Bernie smiled and kissed Kate on the cheek. "Thank you, my dear sister."

"Bring me back some champagne," she grinned.

"I'll bring an entire casket if I can," she laughed and headed for the stairs.

"Ah," Howard had spotted her as soon as she reached the top of the stairs. "Here she is."

"Come now Berenice," Margaret said with a frown. "You're making your friend wait."

As Bernie made her way down the stairs, she could feel Serena's eyes on her but she didn't dare look at her. "You look lovely Bernie," Howard said with a smile.

"Kate, fetch her cloak," Margaret demanded and the maid ran to the hangers in the hallway to gather the black cloak her father had given her before she left for Africa.

Kate draped it around her shoulders and as Bernie fastened it at her neck, Kate leaned forward and whispered in her ear so only she could hear. "She hasn't taken her eyes off you."

Bernie felt herself flush and she shot Kate a frown over her shoulder. "Keep this up and I won't bring you any champagne back at all," she whispered back.

Kate smirked. "Yes you will," she whispered before she made her way to the front door, ready to open it.

Bernie smiled at her father and then turned her attention to Serena. She paused for a moment to take her in. Her dark hair was pinned high at the back of her head, waves framed her face before twisting back behind her ears. Her skin was flushed, her lips rosy. "I'm sorry I kept you waiting," she said softly.

"Not at all," Serena said with a shy smile. "Are you ready to leave?"

"Yes," Bernie smiled and after biding her parents a goodnight, they made their way out to the carriage.

They sat opposite each other in the carriage and Bernie regretted it immediately. She couldn't take her eyes off the other woman.

"You look lovely," Serena said suddenly. "Red suits you."

Bernie smiled and she felt her cheeks grow warm. "Thank you," she said, looking down at her hands briefly before meeting the other woman's eyes again. "So do you." And she really did. Her dress was made of a deep blue silk and black lace. She felt an overwhelming need to reach out and touch her. She gripped her cloak in her hands instead.

"Your mother set me a task," Serena smirked.

"Don't tell me," Bernie rolled her eyes. "She's asked you to find me a man."

"He is to be tall but not too tall, dark hair and a good occupation," Serena recited. "And most of all, he is to be strong willed in order to manage you."

"Manage me?" Bernie sighed and looked out the carriage window. Her mother's dream was her worst nightmare.

"I promise not to recommend you to any eligible men I meet tonight," Serena smiled at again and Bernie gave her a weak smile in return. They were quiet for a few moments until Serena spoke again. "Have I spoken out of turn? Would it have been wiser not to tell you what your mother asked of me?"

Bernie looked over at Serena and saw to her regret that the other woman looked upset. "No," Bernie leaned forward and caught the other woman's hand in her own. "You have done nothing wrong. I am upset with my mother for dragging you into this."

"Ah," Serena smiled and Bernie felt her fingers tighten on her hand. She returned the smile. "Well, I think you will be relieved to know that the majority of men at this fundraiser will be old enough to be your grandfather and have been married since before either of us were born."

Bernie laughed. "You have no idea how happy that makes me," she said.

"I'm rather glad," Serena said after a moment. Bernie looked down at their hands as Serena's thumb began to stroke the back of her hand. "I would have been terribly jealous to see a group of handsome men flirting with you."

Bernie's head shot up and she stared at her with wide eyes. "You would?"

"Of course," Serena said in a whisper, her owns eyes wide as if she hadn't meant to speak those words out loud. "You've become such a good friend in such a short amount of time. I don't want that to change."

"Oh," she sat back and let go of Serena's hand. "So now we're good friends?" Bernie asked with a smile, thinking back to their conversation on the roof. She watched Serena laugh and tried to ignore the disappointment that clenched around her heart.

"Well..." Serena reached forward and took her hand again. "I think so, don't you?"

Bernie stared at their hands for a moment. "Yes," she forced a smile. "Yes I do." She untangled their hands again and looked out the window. It was going to be a very long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still have so much I want to write on this! But if I continued onto the party then it would have been extremely long so I thought I'd stop here and pick up their arrival at the fundraiser in the next chapter. I'm already writing it now so I hope to have it up soon!
> 
> I'd love to know what you're thinking and thanks for reading! xxx


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I managed to drag myself away from Simsrena for the evening. If you don’t follow me on tumblr that will make no sense to you. Let’s just say I fell into a deep, dark hole where I created Berena in the Sims 4 and they torture me on a daily basis. I’ll leave it at that. 
> 
> Actually the main reason I’m posting this tonight is because elektragalore said I wasn’t allowed to go to sleep until I updated this..... I’m pretty sure I’ll be punished for that :P Bring it on!
> 
> Anyway, here is the next chapter of The Clinic. I hope that you all enjoy it and I hope that it takes your minds away from rollercoaster ride our emotions are taking right now. I know the fandom is struggling at the minute and I know I’m starting to sound like a broken record right now but please stay strong all of you. I know that some of you want to leave but I hope that one day you will find your way back. This is an amazing group of people that have been brought together by Bernie and Serena and at the end of the day, our wonderful ladies are still here. They’re here. And we love them. Keep the Faith. Be kind to each other. Respect and support each other.
> 
> Alright, I’m off my soapbox! x

Chapter 06

“Good evening Doctor Campbell,” Doctor Henrik Hanssen said as soon as they arrived.

Serena strode toward him and Bernie followed her lead. She watched as Serena turned her back and allowed a young man to take her cloak from her back. When he made his way over to Bernie, she did the same thing. 

“My goodness,” Henrik said when she turned back to look at him. “They will be like moths to a flame.”

Bernie felt herself blush. Perhaps her mother and father had been right. 

“Good evening,” she said with a slight nod. Hernik smiled and offered her his arm. Serena was already on his other arm. 

“Now we have one aim tonight,” he said as they moved into the small ballroom in his home. “If we are to keep Doctor Wolfe and fully utilise her skills, we need to have a steady income from these people in order to cover her wages.”

“We know this, Henrik,” Serena said with a slight tease in her voice. “Leave it to us. Doctor Wolfe and I will be on our best behaviour and by the end of this evening we’ll have charmed the socks of every single person here.”

“I have no doubt,” Henrik said as unhooked their arms and took his leave to speak to a few of the donors in the room.

Bernie glanced around the room. Almost every person was looking at her and she felt as though she wanted to run. 

“You look like you need some fresh air,” a man said and Bernie spun around to look at him.

“Marcus?” She was stunned. “What are you doing here?” She could feel Serena hovering beside her. 

“I was invited by one of my clients,” he smiled at her and Bernie couldn’t help but smile back at him. “It’s good to see you finally.” She had avoided him since her return for fear that he would propose to her but that didn’t mean she didn’t want to see him. They had known each other all their lives. She was happy to see him.

“I’m really very happy to see you,” she said with a happy smile. She stepped toward him and they quickly embraced.

“I had the feeling you wouldn’t be,” he said, glancing over her shoulder. She knew Serena was still watching them. She should introduce them. “You’ve been avoiding me.” He looked sad.

“No,” Bernie said with an awkward laugh. “Of course not. I’ve been very busy.”

“So I can see,” he said, his eyes taking her in. “You look as wonderful as the day you left,” he said quietly. Bernie felt her stomach flip. “More so in fact. You’re stunning.”

She felt panic bubble up in her chest she remembered Serena was nearby. She turned and pulled Serena over to them by the elbow. “Marcus Dunne I’d like you to meet my friend and colleague Serena Campbell.” 

The sudden change in conversation was impolite and to bring someone into their group without announcing her intention was also a move that would have her mother frowning at her. Marcus seemed a little surprised but Serena took it in her stride. It was almost as if she knew what Bernie was thinking. 

“It’s lovely to meet you,” Serena said as they shook hands. “Marcus Dunne. I believe you recently started working for my husband, am I correct?”

Bernie’s eyes shot to Serena at that. She had no idea that he’d begun working for Edward Campbell. Or that Serena knew of Marcus. She felt as though something heavy and solid was in the pit of her stomach. “Have you?” Bernie asked him. 

“Yes,” Marcus smiled. “He said he sees great things in me. I didn’t realise you were working with Doctor Campbell’s wife,” he looked over at Bernie. 

“I think Doctor Campbell saw great things in me,” she said, looking over at Serena briefly. She didn’t know why she felt a little annoyed with him. 

“Did he?” Marcus smiled. “I didn’t think he was too fond of female doctors.”

“Oh he’s not,” Serena said with a slight smile. “She was talking about me and I do see very great things in Doctor Wolfe.” 

“Ah...” Marcus blushed and he scratched the back of his head. It was a familiar habit Bernie remembered from their youth, it was a sign he was trying to work out how to get out of a particularly difficult situation. 

“Please do excuse us,” Serena said, hooking her arm through Bernie’s and pulling her away. 

“Wait,” Marcus ran after them and stood in front of Bernie. “I’m sorry,” he said quickly. “I really didn’t mean... I didn’t mean anything by what I said. It really is good to see you...”

Bernie glanced toward Serena who was for some reason looking at the floor. “You too,” she said after a moment. “But we really must get to work.” Bernie tried to walk on but Marcus stopped her again.

“May I see you again?” He asked. “Please. Let me take you to dinner.”

“Thank you, Marcus,” Bernie said with a slight smile. “But no.”

The rest of the evening Bernie had avoided Marcus once more and spent her time speaking with the numerous guests that all seemed to want to speak with her. Serena and Henrik had been right. Every person that approached her seemed taken with her. They were fascinated by her time in Africa. They surrounded her and questioned her about her life, it made Bernie feel like some kind of an attraction at a Freak Show. 

“Excuse me for a moment,” Bernie said as politely as she could to a heavy, red faced man and his shy wife. “I need some air.”

Bernie managed to escape to the kitchens and was grateful that she didn’t bump into any other quests upstairs. A few of the staff, maids and servants, stopped to ask if she needed something. Each one directed her to the yard at the back of the house. As she found her way to the back door, the first thing she was aware of was the smell of tobacco. It took her back to her days in the army. 

“Would you happen to have a spare one?” She asked a young stable man. He nodded and with a slight smirk, he handed her the rolled up tobacco and lit it for her. Bernie drew the smoke into her lungs and savoured the smell. “Thank you,” she smiled at him.

The night air was very still, perfect for a walk if she wouldn’t be missed. She glanced up at the upstairs window and could see the guests still enjoying themselves. Perhaps she could get away for ten minutes. 

“If anyone asks,” she said to the young man. “You haven’t seen me.” 

“Right you are,” he nodded with a knowing smile. 

Bernie continued to smoke her roll up and made her way around the side of the house where she found a wooden door. It led into a small, high walled garden. Stepping stones led to a steel bench which she could only just see through the roses and bushes. It was beautiful. But not as beautiful as the dark haired woman sitting on the bench. 

“Hello,” Bernie said with a smile. 

Serena turned suddenly, her eyes wide. “Doctor Wolfe,” she clutched at her chest. “You need to wear louder shoes.”

Bernie smiled. “I’ll try to make more noise in future,” she said as she made her way toward her. Serena’s eyes landed on the tobacco and she frowned. Bernie shrugged. “The men always had it in Africa. The smell reminds me of it.”

“Do you miss it?” Serena asked as she moved over on the bench to allow her more space to join her. 

“I miss the friendships,” Bernie said as she sat down. She took another drag on the roll up and then held it in front of her face to breath in the smell. “I miss the heat. I didn’t think I would but I do.”

“The injuries... I can’t imagine what they must have been like.”

“No one can until they’re there,” Bernie said. “And then when we come back, we don’t really know how to fit in anymore. After everything we saw, everything we did... my Commanding Officer said to me that no one else would appreciate or respect me as much as the army did.”

“I do,” Serena said without hesitation. Bernie looked over at her and noticed that Serena seemed to be struggling with something. “Marcus is interested in you, isn’t he?” 

Bernie sighed. “He asked my parent’s permission to ask for my hand in marriage when I returned from Africa,” she continued to smoke. 

“They said yes,” Serena nodded in understanding. 

“Marcus and I are old friends,” she said. “We’ve known each other since we were children.”

“Did you... did you ever love him?” Serena asked quietly. 

Bernie shook her head immediately. “No,” she said. “I’ve never loved him. Not in that way.” Bernie glanced over at Serena again. She avoided her eyes and looked down to the ground. If Bernie didn’t know better, she’d think Serena was jealous. Could she be? 

“Good,” Serena sighed.

“We should go back,” Bernie said as she finished her roll up and put it out on the ground. When she turned to look at Serena, she was watching her with thoughtful stare. 

“Can I ask you something?” She asked.

“Anything,” Bernie smiled. 

“I’ve been thinking about something you said the other night,” she said after a moment. Bernie waited for her to continue. “You seemed certain that you would never be married.”

Bernie nodded slowly, she was afraid of what was going to come. The way Bernie felt was considered unnatural in the wider society. How would Serena react if she confessed all her secrets? The only person who knew the truth was Kate. She had understood more than Bernie ever thought she would. She wasn’t the same as her but she had an aunt who lived with her best friend, a woman who liked to wear suits. Kate had adored them both and no matter what her mother told her, she knew how much the two women loved each other. She had never seen what the problem was.

One of the things Bernie had managed to glean from Serena’s past in the short time they had known each other, was that she had grown up in the upper classes just as she had. In those circles, an open mind was hard to find. Serena was a kind woman but even kind folk had banished people for less. She couldn’t bear to think that Serena thought badly of her. 

“We really should go back,” Bernie said, looking away. 

Serena caught her chin and made her look her in the eye again. “You’re not interested in men, are you?” she asked. 

Bernie sucked in a sharp breath and pulled away from her. “We shouldn’t talk about this,” she said as tears filled her eyes. “We are colleagues, Doctor Campbell... I do not...” she felt herself begin to panic. She stood up but stopped when Serena caught her hand. 

“Please don’t run from me,” she said softly. Bernie closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I don’t think any differently of you.”

At that Bernie snapped around to look at Serena. “You...” she paused. “You don’t?”

Serena gave a shy smile and Bernie couldn’t help but notice the way her eyes twinkled. “You’re not the first woman I’ve met that... didn’t want a husband.” Bernie laughed at the playful way Serena said husband. “I’ve even met a few men that would have gladly taken their places.”

Bernie smiled and nodded in understanding. She felt heat spreading through the pit of her stomach and she had to look away from the other woman. “Thank you,” she said quietly. She glanced up in time to see Serena frowning. “For not judging me,” she smiled.

Serena laughed. “And thank you for not judging me after you met my husband.”

“I never would,” Bernie said with honesty. “I hold you in very high regard and I respect you immensely.”

Serena gave her a cheeky smile. “I feel the same.”

Bernie couldn’t help the wide smile that pulled at her lips. She didn’t quite understand what it was about this woman that made her feel so happy. She had a feeling sometimes of what it all might mean but she didn’t want to look too deeply. It was too frightening. But with Serena stood right in front of her, sparkling eyes and an infectious smile, it was almost too hard to ignore. Before she could think better of it, Bernie leaned toward Serena and placed a lingering kiss on her cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only a kiss on the cheek?! You can do better than that Major Wolfe! Teehee.
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed it and remember to let me know what you’re thinking. Thank you all so much for all support. You’re an amazing group of people. 
> 
> Stay strong.
> 
> xxx


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update! There’s a little gap between the last chapter and this one. I wanted to move things along a little bit but hopefully I’ve filled in any gaps. For everyone that has been asking. Mickey is back! And he’ll be around quite a bit just like the other AAU characters.
> 
> Also, I need your opinion. At some point I was thinking I might find ways of introducing Jason, Cam and Charlotte. Good or bad idea? Open to all comments, concerns etc.
> 
> I hope you guys are all doing a little better now we’ve got a bit of distance from this week’s episode. I love you all and I hope you enjoy this chapter. There’s lots of Berena feels at the end!
> 
> xxx

Chapter 07

The fundraiser had been a huge success. Doctor Hanssen had immediately hired Bernie on a three month contract but he'd explained that the fundraiser was likely to provide enough money to cover her role for the entire year. But they had three months worth already in the coiffures so that was what her current contract showed.

Life at the clinic had been a whirlwind and Bernie couldn't believe that one month of her contract had already passed. Everyday a new challenge presented itself and Bernie couldn't remember a time when she'd been this happy. She'd settled in quickly with the rest of the staff and they now considered her part of the family.

"Alright Doc?" It was Mickey. "What you want me to do today then?"

Since Mickey had been so helpful during the accident at the rail tracks, Bernie had managed to find him there and paid him not one but two bob for everything he'd done. He was thrilled. A few days later she'd found him lingering outside the clinic and although she invited him inside, he preferred to stay outside. A few moments later, it became obvious as to why. Mickey, as it turned out, was Fletch's son. He was supposed to be at school but had quickly confessed that he'd been forbidden from returning. He'd been working instead, squirreling his money away in the hope of buying his family presents for Christmas. Fletch, though angry he was no longer in full time education, was touched. Bernie had stepped in and offered the boy a job at the clinic, to be paid from her own wages. Away from the dangers of the tracks, he was to assist her with anything she needed. Serena had been amused but agreed to her request. He'd been a great help and at times he'd made Bernie laugh so hard she cried. It could be much needed relief on a difficult day. 

"I'm due at the Work House in half an hour," she said looking up at him. "You can help me carry the boxes of medicine."

Mickey nodded and sat on the edge of her desk. "Where's the brown job then?" He asked as he looked over at the empty desk.

"Doctor Campbell has the day off," Bernie said, unable to stop her own eyes from flickering over to the empty desk.

"She's been off loads!" He said. "Ain't fair. I think you should run the place."

"Well no one asked you," Bernie smirked and Mickey rolled his eyes. "Have you had breakfast?"

"Dad made me eat porridge," he huffed.

"It's good for you," Bernie reminded him.

"It's nicer when you do it," he said. "You put sugar in it."

"Sugar is a treat," she said to him. On the mornings he had been asked to come in early, Bernie occasionally brought him some sweetened porridge from Kate. It was a luxury she could afford but not one Fletch could manage. "Don't be bothering your father for sugar. He has more important things he needs his money for."

"Yes, alright," Mickey said heavily. "When I'm old, I'm going to have lots of money. I'll be able to buy everyone sugar. Even you Doc."

Bernie smiled. "You'll look after me when I'm an old woman?"

"I'll buy you a house," he said proudly. Bernie stood up from her desk and hugged him.

"Half an hour," she kissed the top of his head. "Go help Doctor Digby."

Mickey jumped down from the desk and left the office. When he was gone, Bernie turned to look at the empty desk. Serena had been off for a week now. All they knew at the clinic was that a letter had been sent to Doctor Hanssen stating that she would not be available to work any shifts due to illness. Bernie didn't believe it one bit. Her letters and requests to see her had not been replied to and despite Doctor Hanssen's insistence that she just needed rest, she couldn't help but wonder if there was something wrong. She tried not to think the worst but as thoughts travelled to Doctor Edward Campbell, she felt her blood run cold.

The Work House was a useful distraction. She spent her time treating as many children as she could and put on her best smile for the ones that were suffering from a disease she couldn't treat or cure. She kept Mickey away from the ones that were dying, the ones that had no hope. She knew he'd probably seen much worse in his short life but she didn't want him to catch whatever these children carried.

It was three hours of hard work. The condition these unfortunate people lived in was heartbreaking but it was a fact of life. There was little she or anyone could do to improve it. After she and Mickey left, they stopped at the clinic and she made sure they were both properly washed before she sent him home.

“How was it today?” Raf asked when she entered the office they all shared.

“Same as usual,” she gave him a sad smile. “The conditions are getting worse.”

“The employers don’t care,” Raf sighed. “100 of their workers could die in a day and they know they’ll have 150 more coming in the next.” He shrugged. “As sad as it is, at least they’re not out on the street.”

“Though I’m not sure they’re better off,” Bernie said as she sat down at her desk. “At least out on the street they would be less likely to catch Cholera or Typhus Fever.”

“Tuberculosis on the other hand..." He stopped when Bernie narrowed her eyes. "At least they allow doctors entry to the workhouses now,” Raf said. He always tried to find the good in any situation. It made Bernie smile.

“Once every two months,” she said. “It doesn’t help anyone that needs treatment now. They’ll be dead the next time one of us is allowed entry.”

“Its progress,” he reminded her. “A few months ago they were still operating from their back office with an uneducated butcher for a doctor. Serena has worked wonders with the employers.”

Bernie nodded. "I know," she said with a big sigh. "She has done her best."

"You've had a letter from her by the way," he said casually. Bernie looked over at him and he held the small letter between two fingers. "She had the maid deliver it. It arrived while you were out."

Bernie was out of her seat within seconds and she tore into the letter so quickly she almost tore the paper. Please come. That was all it said. "I have to go," she said as she pushed the letter into the pocket of her waistcoat.

"Is everything alright?" Raf stood up as she pulled her coat from the hanger and grabbed her doctors case. "Is there something wrong with her?"

"I'm sure everything is fine," Bernie gave him a slight smile. "She invited me for tea and she has probably been waiting for me."

"Yes," Raf didn't look convinced. "I'm sure she'll understand once you explain why you're late."

Bernie smiled. "I'll be at my apartment tonight in case you need anything," she said to him as they walked to the door.

"Hopefully we won't need you," he said with a smile. Bernie managed to flag down a carriage. "You need to rest."

"Thank you, Raf," she smiled and climbed into the carriage.

The journey to Serena's was quiet and seemed to take much longer than it actually did. Her thoughts were full of concern for her friend. She knew there was more to this then any of them had been told. Under normal circumstances, nothing would keep Serena from the clinic. And yet she had been kept away for nearly a week. 

The Campbell residence was dark from the outside. There was no one there waiting to greet her, the footman conspicuously absent. Bernie paid for the carriage and ran up the steps to the house. 

When Bernie knocked on the front door, she was surprised to find that it was little Elinor that opened it to her. Bernie frowned when the little girl looked up at her with sad eyes. Her lower lip trembled as she reached out for her. Bernie immediately picked the girl up and cradled her against her chest.

"What is it?" Bernie asked. Fear gripped her heart. "Where's your mother?"

"She..." she whimpered and sniffled. "She's in there..." She pointed to the room past the stairs. A room she'd never been in but from the positioning, Bernie guessed it was the kitchen.

"Are you alone?" Bernie asked as she made her way toward the door.

Elinor nodded and Bernie felt her arms tighten around her neck. "Father sent everyone away..."

As Bernie went to open the door, Elinor wriggled out of her arms. "What's wrong?"

"Mummy doesn't want me in there," she whispered. The poor child was terrified and it made Bernie's blood run cold.

"Alright," Bernie gave her a warm smile and hoped she couldn't see the worry beneath it. "Stay here by the door. Don't go anywhere, alright?"

Elinor nodded and Bernie kissed the top of her head before heading into the room.

It was indeed the kitchens. The space was pristine, the floor and tiled walls glimmering white. There was a large fireplace in the wall farthest from her and in front of it was Serena. She was knelt down, her head hanging low.

"Serena?" Bernie's voice caught in her throat but she knew from the way the woman's shoulders tensed that she had heard her. She watched her back rise as she took a deep breath before she turned around. Bernie gasped. Her eye was black, her nose and top lip bloody. Bernie immediately rushed toward her, she knelt down in front of her and touched her as gently as she could. "What happened?"

"You came," Serena smiled up at her. "I didn't think..."

"I was at the workhouse. I would have been here sooner if I could." Bernie felt tears in her eyes. "What happened to you?"

Serena's head fell forward and she let out a sob. "He was so angry..." She lifted her hand to her lip. Bernie grabbed the clean towel from the front of the sink and ran it under the cold water. She returned to Serena and began to clean her up. "He sent them all home. The staff... he was... furious!"

Bernie frowned as she listened to her talk. "Did... was this Edward?"

Serena closed her eyes as fresh tears ran down her cheeks. "He wanted me to stop working at the clinic," she said as she managed to hold back her sobs. "I said no."

Bernie gave her a small smile. "That's my girl," she said, stroking her cheek with her thumb.

"And he said he wanted me to fire you," she said after a moment. "I told him I'd rather lose him as a husband than lose you."

Bernie froze, her eyes lingering on Serena's. "You... you said that?"

"Yes," Serena said breathily.

Bernie felt numb. “Why?”

Serena frowned and Bernie watched a blush creep over her neck. “Because it’s true,” she said softly. She smiled and Bernie felt herself smiling back. Her heart clenched and she had to bite her lip to stop herself from leaning forward and capturing the woman's lips. 

"Where is he now?" She asked as she continued with cleaning up the cuts on her face. 

"I don't know," Serena sighed. "If I had my way, he'd been lying face down in a ditch with several limb fractures."

Bernie smirked. "You can't stay here," she said softly. 

"I don't have anywhere else to go," Serena said bitterly. 

"Yes you do," Bernie replied. "You and Elinor. You have a place to stay."

Serena rolled her eyes. "Where? There are not many places that would take me in. They'd laugh me out of any good will homes and tell me to get back to my husband and apologise for whatever I'd done to upset him."

"I'm not talking about a halfway house," Bernie said. "I'm not even talking about a hotel." Serena frowned. "I got my new apartment this week." Bernie smiled happily. She'd longed for her own home, always had and she had finally got it. "It doesn't have much but there's a bed in my room and in the spare, and everything is in working order. I'm moving pieces in each day and there's more than enough room for you and Ellie. Kate will be coming with me and she’s been visiting the place every day to stock up. I’ll have her bring food for you."

"You would do that for us?" Serena asked. "Why?"

Bernie shrugged. The truth was, she didn't really know why she did most of the things she did around Serena. Perhaps it was because she'd never had a female friend like her, or perhaps it was something more. The thought made her nervous but she pushed it away and smiled. "The same reason you told Edward you'd choose me over him." The way Serena smiled she knew she'd made the right choice. 

The sound of a door slamming startled them both. The kitchen door opened and Elinor was running toward them. "Mummy!" She fell into Serena's arms just as Edward appeared in the doorway. 

"I should have known you'd be here," he said through gritted teeth. 

Bernie stood up and moved so that she was in front of Serena and Ellie. "I had to be," she said with force. "You've beaten your wife and terrified your daughter. Someone needs to be here to look out for their best interests because you sure are not!"

"My wife needed to be put in her place," he sneered. "My daughter will learn from her mother’s mistakes. It is my job..."

"Not anymore," Bernie said. She turned and helped Serena and Elinor up off the floor. "Get out of our way."

Edward looked furious. "She is mine. I will not allow you to leave this house!"

"I wonder what your partners would think if I were to walk into your practise tomorrow," Serena said. Bernie could feel the fire in Serena flare, the same fire she saw daily at the clinic. "What would they think of their wife beater partner?"

"If you step out of this house, you will never be welcome back here," he said, edging his way closer to them. 

"I wouldn't come back if you begged me to," Serena spat. "Not even if you paid me."

"Why you..." He closed the gap quicker than they could move out his way. 

"Ellie, run!" Bernie shouted as Edward pushed her out of the way and dived for Serena. Elinor ran from the kitchen and Bernie picked up a large copper bowl. She swung it at Edward's head and was pleased with the resounding clunk it made on contact. Edward let go of Serena as he fell to the floor in a daze. 

"Serena!" She grabbed Serena's hand and pulled her from the house. For whatever reason, the carriage Edward had used was still outside the house. She was grateful for it. "Get inside!" She shouted to Elinor who quickly scrambled up. The men who were working the carriage exchanged confused looks but once they saw Serena, they sprung into action and helped her into the carriage. 

Bernie quickly climbed in after her and when she turned to close the door, she saw Edward stumbling after them. Still standing, she pounded her fist against the carriage roof. "Go! Go!" The carriage lurched forward. Bernie stumbled but managed to catch herself before she fell onto Elinor who was crouched down against the seats.

"It's going to be alright," Bernie said. From the window in the back of the carriage she could see Edward standing outside the house and she breathed a sigh of relief that he wasn’t following them. "You're safe," she looked down at Serena and her daughter. 

Serena let out a sob and gathered Elinor in her arms. Bernie squeezed in the seat next to Serena and rested her forehead against her shoulder. They were going to be just fine; she'd make sure of it. She felt Serena's arm wrap around her neck and her hand fell into her hair as she held her against her. 

"Thank you," she whispered, turning her head to place a kiss on her forehead.

Bernie smiled and wrapped her arm around Serena's waist. "I have you," she whispered. "I won't let anything happen to either you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooo drama! And fluff :) Druff. That doesn’t sound good. Abort!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it and thanks for reading! I’d love to know what you’re all thinking so leave some thoughts x


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should be asleep but I’m not. Obviously. I’m posting this. Aren’t you glad you know that? I really should try to curb my ramblings on my fics....
> 
> Thank you all so much for all the love on the previous chapter. I haven’t had time to reply to some of the comments yet but I will! I promise. Until then, THANK YOU!!! You guys are seriously awesome.
> 
> So here’s a new chapter. Woop woop! This was fun to write, super fun actually. And I hope you all really enjoy it after the angst of the last chapter. We’re not done with the angst of course but we’re on holiday from it in this chapter – sort of....
> 
> Anyhoo, I hope you all had a wonderful weekend and thank you for reading. 
> 
> Bring on the women!
> 
> xxx

Chapter 08

The walk up to her apartment in the large town house was quiet except for Elinor’s occasional sniffle. Serena carried her on her hip and whispered words of comfort to her as they climbed. Bernie led the way in silence and once they arrived at her apartment, she opened the door and allowed them to enter first. 

“Thank you for this,” Serena said once again when Bernie closed the door behind them.

“You have nothing to thank me for,” Bernie smiled. “You wouldn’t think twice about doing the same thing for me if ever I were in trouble.”

Serena smiled. “In any case, as soon as I can access my own money Elinor and I will be out of your hair,” she said.

Bernie shook her head. “You are welcome to stay for as long as you wish,” she said. “I rather think the company will be good for me.”

Serena looked around at the apartment. “So this is your new home,” she smiled.

“Let me show you around,” Bernie said. Before she started the tour, she took Elinor from Serena and hitched her up on her own hip to give Serena’s arms a much needed break. 

As she showed them around the apartment, Bernie explained that Kate would be taking the bedroom at the back and would be undertaking the cooking, cleaning and any ladies maid duties. She talked about the layout of each room, the items she was waiting to be brought in such as furniture and decoration. They finished with her bedroom where Serena and Elinor would be staying. 

“I had a bed and dressing table brought in for this room as soon as I signed the contract. It’s a nice quiet room to escape to. You and Ellie should be very comfortable in here,” she said. She walked into the room and placed Elinor on the bed. The girl was practically asleep. “I had planned on staying here tonight so Kate had intended to bring some night wear and food. I want you and Elinor to take that, I can head back to my parents home.”

"No," Serena whispered. "I don't want to interrupt any of your plans." They made their way out of the guest room so that Elinor could sleep while they talked. 

"You're not," Bernie smiled. "My mother has been talking a lot about having Marcus Dunne over for supper one evening and I had a feeling it would be tonight." She laughed. "I had hoped to avoid him, that’s all."

"You think he may still propose to you?" Serena asked. 

"My father thinks so and my mother is adamant that I accept his proposal before I am no longer desirable to the best of the eligible young men in Holby."

"I can't imagine you ever being undesirable," Serena mumbled. 

"You're too kind," Bernie felt herself blush. 

"There's no need for you to go to your parent’s house," Serena said after a moment. "There is more than enough room in that bed for all three of us."

Bernie felt her stomach flip. “Share with you?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. 

“Unless that makes you uncomfortable?” Serena added quickly. 

“Not at all,” Bernie shrugged. “I rather thought it... I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Serena smiled. “There is nothing you could do that would make me uncomfortable.”

Once again, Bernie was struck by Serena’s beauty. Her warm eyes, her shy smile. The way her head ducked slightly when she said something a little risqué. She felt a pull in her chest and the urge to feel her lips against the other woman’s was almost overwhelming. Before she could act upon her thoughts, the door to her home opened.

“I brought you...” Kate froze as soon as she saw Bernie had company. Her eyes widened for just a moment when she realised who it was, and then she fixed her eyes on Bernie and smiled. “I’m sorry miss,” she said sweetly. “You asked me to bring some food and your night clothes.”

“Yes,” Bernie let out a nervous breath but managed to smile in return. “Thank you Kate.”

“Cook put in extra,” she gestured to the basket she carried on her arm. “I didn’t know if you had eaten this afternoon so she’s put enough in here to feed a small army.” Kate laughed but Bernie watched her smile falter when her eyes flickered over to Serena. “Miss?” She gasped. “What happened?”

“My husband,” Serena said bitterly.

“You poor thing!” Kate rushed forward and began to empty out all the food in her basket onto the small table by the door. “I’ll run over to Harpers and get you some ice.” 

“I’ll come with you,” Bernie said and she knew the way both women looked up at her that she had startled them. 

“It’s alright miss,” Kate said with a confused frown. “I can go alone.”

“I want to see if Harpers has any medical supplies,” Bernie avoided Kate’s eyes. When she turned to look at Serena, the other woman looked somewhat angry and hurt. “Why don’t you check on Ellie? We won’t be long.”

Serena looked like she wanted to argue but instead she narrowed her eyes at Bernie and headed into the bedroom. When Bernie turned to look at Kate, she found a frown on her face too. 

“Why is everyone looking at me like that?” Bernie asked. 

“She clearly doesn’t want you to leave,” Kate pointed out.

Bernie sighed. “I just need some air,” she said quietly. “Let’s go.”

They walked to Harpers, the local store, arm in arm. Bernie explained everything that had happened with Edward and that their new life in the town house would have a hectic start. They collected everything they needed from Harpers and headed back for the house. 

As they walked, Bernie informed Kate of what Serena had said just before she entered. “We’ve shared a bed before,” Kate shrugged. “Many women do. It’s not unusual.”

“Yes,” Bernie nodded. “But do you... there was something...” She stopped walking and it took Kate a moment to realise. She turned back to look at her and Bernie took a deep breath. “I think I might be falling for her...” 

Kate smiled. “I know,” she said as walked back toward her. “I think she likes you too.”

Bernie felt herself blush. “She’s married,” she said but then rolled her eyes. “Perhaps not after tonight but the point is, she’s been with a man all her adult life.”

“And yet here you are fretting about sharing a bed with her,” Kate smirked. 

“I’m sure she hasn’t thought of me that way,” she shook her head. 

“She was jealous,” Kate said after a moment. “Didn’t you see it?”

Bernie frowned. “Of what?”

“Of me,” Kate laughed. “She was jealous that you wanted to come with me.”

Bernie laughed. “Don’t be so ridiculous.” 

Kate linked her arm through Bernie’s and they began to walk again. 

“What’s so hard to believe?” Kate asked with mock offense. “Am I not pretty enough to warrant jealousy? Is it so hard to believe I might hold your affection?”

Bernie nudged her with her shoulder. “Stop it,” she smiled at her friend. “You know that’s not true.” 

“I do,” Kate nodded. “I also know that you and I feel nothing but sisterly love for one another but she, Mrs Campbell, doesn’t know that.”

“I think we’re reading too much into all this,” Bernie said. “You said so yourself, women can be closer to other women more than their own husbands. Perhaps Serena was only upset that I left her and Ellie alone in the house. We are friends, good friends. Colleagues...” Kate groaned in protest of what Bernie was saying. “I don’t want my feelings to get in the way of our work or our friendship.”

“But what about her feelings?” Kate pressed. 

Bernie gave a frustrated sigh. “As I’ve already said, Serena and Ellie will be my guests for the foreseeable future. I don’t want to do anything that will make either of them uncomfortable.”

“I don’t know why you’re doing this,” Kate shook her head. “But you’ll see, one day you’ll see the way she looks at you. The way her eyes follow you...”

“You’re not helping, Kate!” They stopped outside the town house. 

“I’m sorry,” Kate said, taking Bernie’s hand. “I just want you to be happy. You’re like a sister to me and I want you to have everything you ever wished for. I want you to be happy.”

Bernie smiled and nodded. “I know,” she said as she stepped forward and hugged her. “I want the same for you,” she said in her ear. 

“Find me a rich man, tall, fair hair and who loves children. I’ll be the happiest woman alive” Kate laughed as they pulled away from each other. 

“I’m sure my mother will know someone,” she grinned. “Go home and get some rest,” she said to her friend.

“You know where to find me if you need anything,” Kate passed Bernie the basket that contained the ice and medical supplies from Harpers. Kate kissed her cheek and Bernie watched her walk away for a moment. She took a deep breath and entered the town house. 

When Bernie walked back into her home, she spotted Serena sat in the window seat in the living room. She was looking out the window and Bernie knew she must have seen her and Kate walk back from the store.

“Everything alright?” She asked as she made her way toward her. Serena nodded, her eyes still lingered on something outside. “I have some supplies, so how about we treat those cuts?”

“She seems nice,” Serena said all of a sudden. Bernie placed the basket on the floor by the window seat and hovered nervously.

“She is,” she sat down on the seat beside Serena and began to prepare everything she needed from the basket. She started with the ice, which she placed in a clean cloth and handed it to the woman beside her. She watched Serena gently press the ice to her eye as she turned to look out of the window again. “I’m sorry I left,” Bernie said after a moment. “I needed to explain to her that you and Ellie would be living here for a while.”

“And she didn’t mind?” Serena looked at her over her shoulder. 

Bernie laughed and shook her head. “Kate is an unusual girl,” she said. Serena frowned and turned to face her fully, Bernie used the opportunity to start cleaning the cuts on her face. “She was worried she’d be bored working for a single person rather than a family. She very much welcomed the news that there would be more duties to attend to.” 

“I don’t want to get in the way of anything,” Serena said softly. 

Bernie paused in what she was doing and looked into her eyes. She could see so much sadness there. She instantly worried that Kate had been right. Did Serena think she and Kate were..?

“Kate and I...” Bernie smiled and tried to ignore the flutter in her stomach. “She’s like a sister to me. We take care of each other and for a long time, she was the only friend I had.”

Serena let out a shaky breath and a hesitant smile brightened her features. “I thought...” she paused and looked down at the floor. A blush crept across her cheeks. 

“You thought Kate and I were lovers,” Bernie finished for her. 

Serena rolled her eyes and gave her an awkward smile. Bernie wasn’t sure what else to say and after a moment, Serena spoke up. “But you’re not lovers.”

Bernie’s stomach flipped and she felt her heart beat faster all of a sudden. “No,” she managed to breathe out.

“I’m glad,” Serena whispered. 

Before she knew what she was doing, Bernie had dropped the medical supplies and had snaked her hand up Serena’s neck. She leaned forward and brushed her lips against hers. Serena gasped and the ice fell to the floor with a clatter while her chilled fingers landed on Bernie’s wrist. Bernie feared she had perhaps over stepped the mark and she quickly pulled away. She looked at Serena, noticed the way the other woman’s eyes fell to her lips. She wanted to tell her she was sorry but the way Serena licked her lips, rendered her speechless. Bernie watched as Serena reached her hands up to stroke her cheeks and when the other woman guided her forward, Bernie made no attempt to resist. Serena’s lips pressed against hers once more and this time it had been her doing.

Bernie thought her heart was going to explode. Serena’s perfect lips slipped against hers as if they had been made to fit. Their hands pulled each other closer and Bernie couldn’t help but run her tongue across Serena’s bottom lip. A shiver ran through the other woman’s body and Bernie smiled against her. A little laugh bubbled up out of Serena and they slowly pulled away from each other. 

They shared a shy smile, a tiny giggle. Serena brushed her hand across Bernie’s cheek and she leaned into it as she began to stroke her skin with her thumb. 

“We should finish cleaning that cut,” Bernie said, aware that their kiss had re-opened the cut. 

“For some reason it no longer hurts,” Serena smiled. “You’re an excellent doctor.”

Bernie felt herself blush. “You’re an excellent patient.”

Serena laughed and Bernie smiled. She gave herself a moment to watch the woman in front of her before she turned her attention back to the job of cleaning Serena’s injuries. It was going to be a difficult job to resist the urge to repeat their kiss and from the look Serena gave her from under her lashes, she knew they were thinking the same thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THEY KISSED!!!!!!! What do we think? Will it be awkward the next day? I might not be able to help myself... I do love an awkward Berena moment...
> 
> Aren’t I don’t well? Sorter ramblings compared to previous posts.... or maybe not as this end note is pretty long now. Le sigh. I just can’t help myself!
> 
> Would love to know what you’re all thinking. To bed I venture! Night night! xxx


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ey up! Ooohh ‘ark at that, I went all Northern. Oh wait... I am Northern.... 
> 
> ...
> 
> Hello readers! So you lots said you liked my ramblings... what is wrong with you people? Well, you asked for it so when there comes a day when the rambling is longer than the fic then you only have yourselves to blame. Just sayin’. What I’d also like to say is.... thank you for embracing my weirdness!! *giving you all a massive hug!* 
> 
> So here is another chapter. This was so much fun to write!!! Awkward and fluffy Berena. I think that’s my favourite. Although I do like angsty Berena. And sexy Berena – I mean who doesn’t? .... see? Rambling! Gah! 
> 
> A special shout out to a friend who isn’t very well and suggested that a new chapter of The Clinic would help her feel better – did it work? Everyone send her lots of good vibes so she gets better soon! x
> 
> Just to see what the interest would be, I’m thinking about writing a WWII AU for our awesome ladies. Perhaps as Land Girls? I also had an idea of having Bernie fighting on the front lines (artistic freedom allows me to correct the fact that women weren’t deemed able enough to aid with fighting. Gotta love fanfic!) and during her two week leave, she meets the world famous British entertainer Serena Campbell – think Vera Lyn. Anyway, maybe I’ll do both. Would anyone be interested in reading them? 
> 
> And finally... (until you get to the bottom ramble. Ha! Bottom ramble)... thank you everyone for reading and thank you to those that have messaged me, left reviews/comments/kudos, added me to alerts and said hi on tumblr. You guys are the best! I fucking love this fandom!! xxx

Chapter 09

Bernie woke up to the feeling of someone pressed up against her back. The sparse room was bright from the morning sunlight that poured in from the bare window. The noise from the street below filtered into her mind and she rubbed at the sleep in her eyes. 

The body that was pressed against her back stirred and Bernie froze. All of a sudden, a skinny arm and leg were draped over her body and she had to stifle a laugh. 

Elinor began to snore softly as she continued to sleep and Bernie was loath to move for fear she would wake her. During her time in the army, she had gotten used to waking up very early so she assumed that a few extra minutes in bed wouldn’t make her late for work. And even if she was a little late, it would have been worth it knowing that Ellie had slept in longer. 

While she laid there, Ellie’s soft snores and the sound of sellers out on the busy street her only company, she couldn’t help but think over what happened the previous night. She had kissed Serena. Serena. Her friend. Her colleague. Her boss! But what was more, and she still had a hard time believing it, Serena had kissed her back. The thought still caused her stomach to feel like it was full of butterflies and she smiled to herself. 

After Bernie had finished tending to Serena’s cuts, she had allowed the other woman to slip into the bathroom first to clean up before bed. By the time Bernie emerged from her turn in the bathroom, Serena was already under the covers.

“There isn’t much space,” she had whispered. Bernie had to hold back a laugh at her observation. The bed was more than large enough for two adults and a child but Elinor was spread across the middle of the bed like a star fish. Her tiny frame took over most of the bed. 

Bernie smiled when she remembered the look on Serena’s face as she’d slipped into the bed on the opposite side. They’d smiled shyly at each other for some time until sleep overtook them. She couldn’t be sure who fell asleep first.

The door to her bedroom opened and it pulled Bernie from her thoughts. She glanced toward the door to see Kate.

“Sorry miss,” she whispered. “We need to get you ready for the day and Mrs Campbell has arranged for someone to look after Elinor today.”

Bernie frowned. She hadn’t been able to turn over and look for Serena but she had assumed she would have still been fast asleep. “Where is Doctor Campbell?” Bernie asked. 

“At the clinic,” Kate replied, making her way into the room. “Left just as I arrived. It wasn’t even light outside yet.”

With a sigh, Bernie pushed Elinor off her and got out of bed. The child grumbled at the disruption but settled down soon after. “Was Mrs Campbell... did she seem... well?” she asked as Kate helped her dress.

“I’m not sure miss,” Kate said. “She seemed in a hurry. She didn’t even want breakfast.”

Bernie felt her stomach drop into her knees. Did Serena regret what had happened the night before? Is that why she left so early?

“Did...” Kate stopped halfway through lacing up Bernie’s corset. “Did something... did something happen? Last night I mean.”

Bernie looked down at the ground. “No,” she lied. She’d never lied to Kate before. “We talked. Everything seemed... fine. Better than fine. Maybe I misread something?”

“Maybe you’re fretting over nothing,” Kate smiled and continued with the corset. “She’s been away from her clinic for some time, perhaps she wanted to get an early start? Catch up on her work.”

Bernie gave a slight smile and nodded. She didn’t believe Kate’s words one bit but she didn’t want her friend to worry either. She finished dressing and refused to allow Kate to tame her messy short hair. It bounced in waves around her jaw and she tucked it behind her ears as she reached for the door. 

“Oh hello,” a small woman looked up at her from the hallway. 

Bernie frowned at her. “May I help you?” She asked in a clip tone. She hadn’t seen this woman in the town house before.

The woman smiled kindly. “You must be the Major with hair that short,” she said. Bernie self-consciously tugged at the ends of her hair and immediately regretted not allowing Kate to at least pull it back in a French roll. “It’s certainly not in fashion but it suits you,” the woman beamed at her.

Bernie returned her smile but more than anything, she was confused. “Who are you?” She asked a little more kindly than when she had first spoken. 

“Miss Essie Harrison,” she smiled. “I’m an old friend of Serena’s. She asked if I would take Elinor for the day.”

“Essie!” 

Bernie turned to see Elinor running toward them. Essie knelt down and pulled Elinor into a big hug. “I think you’ve grown since I last saw you.” 

Elinor giggled and pulled away to run to Bernie. “Do you think I’ll be as tall as Bernie some day?” she asked as she stood on her tiptoes and looked at her. 

“Someday,” Essie smiled. 

Bernie patted Elinor on the head. “Maybe even taller.”

“Like a giant?” Elinor giggled.

“The biggest giant in all the lands,” she said and Elinor laughed before running back into the bedroom. Bernie watched her leave before she turned back to look at Essie. “I assume Mrs Campbell has informed you of what happened?”

Essie nodded sadly. “We’ve never liked Edward. We hated the control he seemed to have over Serena,” she said quietly. “Thank you, on behalf of myself and my husband who cares for Serena very much too. Thank you for getting her and Elinor out of there.”

Bernie looked down at the ground, a blush warmed her cheeks. “I must get going,” she said softly. “Thank you for taking Ellie.”

Essie smiled as Bernie stepped passed her. “Could you tell Serena that I have sent a maid to her house to collect their belongings like she asked?” Bernie nodded.

“My maid is dressing Ellie,” Bernie pointed toward the bedroom. “She’ll gladly take care of the Campbell’s belongings if you want to have them brought straight here.”

“Thank you,” Essie nodded.

The two women said their goodbyes and Bernie took her leave. As she walked to the clinic she couldn’t help but wonder what had happened to Serena. The good news was that if she had asked a friend to collect her belongings, then she had every intention of staying. Or did she? Dread filled her stomach as she thought over what Essie had said. She hadn’t confirmed that her maid would bring Serena and Elinor’s things to the town house. She stopped walking in the middle of the street. What if she had asked Essie to have their belongings collected because they were to be moving into Miss Harrison’s home?

She felt crying. The lump in her throat caught her breath and she looked up at the sky in a bid to keep her tears at bay. Once she had her emotions under control, she continued on her way to the clinic. 

When she arrived, the waiting area was still fairly quiet. She said a quick good morning to Raf and Fletch, who were stood close together and seemed to be in a deep conversation. They seemed surprised when she interrupted them and she had no doubt that the gossip mill in Holby was already very active. 

Not wanting to get into any kind of conversation about it with her friends and colleagues, she strode straight into the offices. As soon as the door closed behind her, she had to resist the urge to run back out. 

Serena stared at her from behind her desk. Her face was badly bruised, just as she expected but it was still hard to look at. Bernie cleared her throat and was the first to look away. She stepped up to her own desk and placed her bag on the wooden surface.

“Morning,” she said over her shoulder to the other woman. 

“Morning,” Serena said quietly. 

Bernie turned to look at Serena but the other woman was looking down at a piece of paper in front of her. The tension was heavy and she wanted to know what had gone wrong. “Erm... I...” Serena looked up at her and the moment their eyes met, Bernie lost her nerve. “Miss Harrison asked that I let you know she has sent a maid to your home to collect what you asked for. She was at the town house to collect Ellie as I was leaving.”

“Er, yes. Thank you.” Serena tone was clipped. 

Silence settled around them once more and Bernie, who normally relished silence, felt as though she were about to explode. “How...” She cleared the lump in her throat. “I hope you found everything in order... here... with the clinic...” she silently cursed herself each time she stammered. She had been a Major with the British Army, had faced dangerous men on the front lines and she never once felt nervous enough to stammer like this. What was it about Serena that made her feel that way?

“You run a tight ship,” Serena smiled a little and Bernie felt a relieved breath leave her chest when she realised that Serena seemed a little nervous too. “I er... I see you have surgery today...”

“Yes,” Bernie was glad that Serena had brought up a topic she felt confident with. “A rather difficult hernia patient.”

“Mr Collins,” Serena nodded. “He’s a sweet man apart from when he’s drunk. Unfortunately he’s drunk more than he’s sober.”

“So I’ve gathered,” Bernie laughed softly as she slowly walked to Serena’s desk. “It’s going to be a difficult surgery. He’s a large man and he’s left the hernia too long. I could use an extra pair of hands if you’re free?”

Serena’s eyes widened slightly. “You don’t need me to take care of you... it... take care of it...” Bernie watched Serena stand from behind her desk and edge her way around it. She headed for the door as though she no longer wanted to be in the same room as her. “You’re an experienced surgeon Doctor Wolfe, I’m sure you’ll be fine.” She was out of the office before Bernie could utter a single word. 

Later in the morning, Bernie found Serena in the loft checking through the supplies. She had headed up herself to retrieve clean cloths ahead of her surgery, she always preferred to set up her surgery area herself if she had time for it. Serena had been so focused on her own task that she had failed to hear Bernie’s heeled boots on the floorboards. 

“Doctor Campbell?” she tried to keep her voice soft, she didn’t want to startle her friend. 

A box of bandages that Serena had just picked up fell to the floor, the clean bandages rolling out of it. “For heavens sake!” Serena exclaimed as she knelt down to the ground to pick them up. 

Bernie quickly dropped to the ground too and began to help. “I’m sorry,” she said as she handed the bandages to Serena. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Serena shook her head. “You didn’t,” she stood up and moved away from her. “Was there something you needed?”

“Just some cloths,” she said, pointing to the box where they kept them. Serena nodded and turned her back. Bernie watched her for a moment. She hated this. She hated this tension. “I just...” she began but stopped. Serena turned to look at her and Bernie knew that she had to finish what she started now that she had her attention. “The office earlier? I mean... the awkwardness with which... well you were there so you must have...”

“Was it awkward?” Serena gave a nervous laugh and turned back to the supplies. “I can’t say I noticed...” Bernie watched her busy herself with the supplies check and she took a deep breath. Serena’s constant movement made her even more nervous and Bernie wished she would stop.

“Could you please keep still for just a moment?” Bernie asked before she could stop herself. Serena froze and took a deep breath before she looked up. “I don’t want you to... what happened last night? I hope you’re not worrying about... it...” the words tumbled from her mouth and she was surprised when Serena laughed. 

“Oh I haven’t been worrying,” she said as she waved a hand in the air as if she were waving away the ‘problem’. “I haven’t been worried about the... it... I mean... have, have you?”

Bernie stared at her dumbfounded. “I... no...” she lied but then thought better of it. “I erm... a little?”

“I think emotions were running high,” Serena gave a bright smile that to Bernie seemed forced. “We’re fine.” 

Despite the sinking feeling in Bernie’s heart she was at least relieved to hear that this hadn’t affected their friendship. “Good,” she said with a nod, unable to force a smile on her lips. She turned on her heel, grabbed the clean cloths and left Serena to continue her inventory of the supplies. 

It was until late afternoon that she saw Serena again and this time it was her that sought out Bernie. “I hear your surgery went well,” she began.

Bernie was at her desk, lost in paper work. She looked up at Serena who was leant against the doorframe. “I... yes it did.” She watched Serena as she closed the door to the office and walked toward her. She hovered in front of her desk, uncertain. “You didn’t seem very interested earlier.”

“No,” Serena blushed. “I was too busying wishing myself dead all morning to act professionally,” she laughed.

Bernie felt as though she had been slapped in the face. Had their kiss really been that bad? Her thoughts must have shown on her face because all of a sudden Serena’s smile faded.

“No!”She stepped closer to the desk. “I didn’t mean...” she nervously tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I’ve never been more than a friend with a woman and you’ve terrified the life out of me,” she said all at once. “That’s not to say I didn’t enjoy it because...” Bernie couldn’t help but smile at Serena’s rambling. She felt light, as if something had lifted from her chest. “Well... I did enjoy it...” Bernie stood from her seat and walked around her desk, her eyes on Serena as she continued to talk. Serena shook her head and gave a dry laugh. “Of course you... you were there and I... kissed you back... so you must know that I...”

“Serena...” Bernie said her name softly as she stopped right in front of her. Serena stopped talking immediately , her breath caught in her throat and her eyes widened. “I thought... I thought you regretted it... regretted what we did...” 

“No!” She said. “I was worried about... I didn’t know what to say to you so I... I left and I shouldn’t have...”

Bernie sighed. Her heart sang with the knowledge that Serena had liked their kiss but she could see what it was doing to her. It hurt to see her so unsure of herself. “If this is making you uncomfortable,” she began. “Then perhaps we should remain... friends...” she saw the confusion crease Serena’s brow. 

“I don’t want that,” she said and for the first time that day, her voice sounded sure. 

“You... you don’t?” Bernie asked, she didn’t want to allow herself to hope.

“Slow,” Serena said abruptly. Bernie frowned. “I think... we need to be slow... and careful.”

When Serena smiled at her, that same smile she’d used when they were laid in bed, Bernie couldn’t contain herself any longer. She closed the gap between her and Serena and pressed her lips against hers. The moan that came from Serena’s mouth shot straight to Bernie’s stomach and she wrapped her arms around Serena’s waist. Serena’s hands rose to Bernie’s hair, her fingers scraped at her scalp as she deepened the kiss. This time, the moan came deep from within Bernie’s chest.

Loud voices in the waiting room pulled them apart and Bernie was glad that none of them ever remembered to open the office blinds after consultations. 

“I’m sorry,” Bernie said as she took a step back. “You wanted slow but I just...”

“And careful,” Serena reminded her as she smoothed out her dress. 

“I erm...” Bernie ran her fingers through her hair to push it back into place. “I couldn’t resist,” she gave Serena a shy smile. 

Serena bit her bottom lip and tilted her head slightly. She looked over at Bernie from under her lashes and Bernie had to hold onto her desk to prevent herself from grabbing Serena once more. 

“If you hadn’t done it,” Serena’s voice had a slight tease in it. “Then I probably would have.” Bernie smiled. “Elinor will be fine at Essie’s for a few hours after we finish here,” she continued. “Perhaps we can talk... later?”

Something in her voice told Bernie that there wouldn’t be much talk later. She felt heat spreading through her lower abdomen. “Over dinner?” She suggested while she tried to keep her voice even. 

“You don’t have any furniture yet,” Serena laughed. 

“I have pillows and blankets,” Bernie couldn’t contain how happy she felt. “We can have a picnic in front of the fire.”

“Sounds lovely,” Serena smiled and Bernie thought she looked like she was trying to hold in her own excitement. Bernie felt herself blush under Serena’s heated gaze.

What an unexpected turn of events.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meep! Oh I’ve given myself feels!! Hahaha. 
> 
> I hope you’re all enjoying this. It was a blast to write and I hope you enjoyed all the familiar bits from Holby :D I’d love to know what you’re thinking so drop me a line, a comment or come find me on tumblr where I get goo-goo eyes for our ladies and play with Berena sims. It’s all a bit weird but then again, I’m a bit weird. Bye! x


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I actually wanted to post this in the wee small hours of last night but I finally fell asleep. So I’m posting it now and apologising in advance for the extra rambling ramble...
> 
> Good day to you all in the Berena fandom! The date was 1885 and Rex was once again unable to slip into the arms of Morpheus even though she was rat arsed the night before because one of her fellow countrymen dared to have a birthday on a work night! Rude!
> 
> Anyhoo, the good thing to come from this is that I’m updating! And the final half of this chapter is basically the whole reason I started this fic. That’s probably going to say a lot about me once you’ve read it.... hmm... maybe I shouldn’t have admitted to that... meh! Fuck it.
> 
> I know you didn’t ask, but here are some Victorian clothing facts for you. Aren’t you glad you came back here to read this fic? So did you know that the process of a woman getting dressed consisted of 12 steps? The order of clothing goes like this: 1. Shoes and stockings, 2. Drawers or bloomers (depending on what you call them), 3. Chemise, 4. Corset, 5. Petticoat (there can be 2 – 3!), 6. Corset cover, 7. Bustle (not everyone wore one), 8. Underskirt, 9. Skirt, 10. Bodice, 11. Capelet, 12. Hat. I know what you’re thinking, why the hell are you telling us this? Well, did you also know that because of all of this effort and the amount of layers one had to wear, that most women bought drawers that were open. What do I mean by that? Oh I’ll tell you what I mean by that..... when the right time comes along :P *evil laugh*
> 
> I hope you...
> 
> Oh wait, one last thing! This chapter should be rated R or M or whatever it is now. There be stuff in ‘ere that be not suitable for young’uns!
> 
> I’ve lost my mind! Enjoy xxx

Chapter 10

After her shift finished at the clinic, Bernie had headed back to her family home to retrieve some bits and pieces. Serena had wanted to stay another hour to finish up with some paper work for Mr Hanssen. With Raf also in the office, Bernie had discreetly brushed her fingers across the back of Serena’s hand as she passed her desk before saying goodnight to them both with a smile.

When she arrived at her family home she was relieved to find that neither of her parents were there. Bernie had no doubt in her mind that they had heard what had happened with the Campbell’s. Her father will have heard it from the other doctors at his club, the ones who questioned whether the ‘smaller female brain was adequate enough to do a man’s job’. She wasn’t worried about her father, who would defend her even if he had been told she’d murdered Doctor Edward Campbell. The person she didn’t want to face, couldn’t trust herself to face, was her mother. The women at the tea rooms will have gossiped and judged, taunted her mother for her reckless and masculine daughter. She would be furious.

“What sort a thing would yer like then?” Cook asked when Bernie had explained that she wanted a picnic basket prepared. “Yer not goin’ out there are yer? It’s blummin’ freezin’, miss Wolfe!”

“It will be an indoor picnic, Mrs Jones,” Bernie assured her. “Food that needs little preparation but will keep. Her daughter will returning home a little later and she will no doubt want something before she goes to sleep.”

“Well then,” she huffed. “Get that down yer.” She pushed a cup of tea at her and Bernie smiled her thanks. Mrs Frances Jones had been with the family for as long as she could remember. She’d come here when her husband had died in the war and she’d never remarried. When Bernie was a child, Mrs Jones would always say ‘yer the only babe I need in my life’ before she’d kiss the top of her head and give her a stick of Liquorice. When her father was away, it was Mrs Jones who gave her the love and attention she needed. A surrogate mother to a surrogate child.

“Have you heard mother say anything about...” Bernie didn’t need to finish her sentence because

Mrs Jones turned to look at her with a frown. “’Bout Mrs Campbell?” she asked, her hands on her hips.

“Yes,” Bernie felt herself blush.

“People’s sayin’ yer went in there and dragged her from that house,” Mrs Jones turned back to the kitchen counter and continued to prepare the picnic basket.

“I did,” Bernie said quietly.

“What yer doin’ that for then?” She asked.

Bernie sighed. “Because she sent for me,” she said after a moment. “She’s my friend, Mrs Jones. She needed me.”

Mrs Jones turned to look at her again but this time her eyes were soft. “Don’t want yer gettin’ hurt miss,” she said with a smile.

“It wasn’t me that was being hurt,” she said and Mrs Jones’ eyes narrowed. “Mr Campbell hit his wife, terrified his daughter and would have had no issues with hitting me if I had given him half a chance.”

Mrs Jones nodded and turned back to the food. “Just be careful miss,” she said kindly. “Men like that don’t easily give up what’s theirs.”

Bernie sighed and drank her tea. She was right of course, Edward Campbell didn’t seem the type of man to allow his wife and daughter to run away from him. In his eyes, they belonged to him just as much as his servants and house.

Once Mrs Jones had finished with the picnic basket, Kate had popped into the kitchen to say she would be by in the morning with breakfast and clothes. The two women had followed Bernie into the hallway to say goodbye when the front door flew open.

“Mother...”

Margaret Wolfe stormed into the house. She ungraciously threw her cloak and bag on the floor and grabbed Bernie by the elbow. “You selfish girl!”She all but pushed her into the living room and slammed the door closed behind her. “What on earth do you think you’re doing?”

Bernie tried to steady her breathing as her anger threatened to take over. “He had her locked away in that house! He was beating her...”

“That is none of your concern!” Margaret raged. “She is his wife and belongs at his side. You had no right to get involved.”

“She asked me to get involved!”

“You insolent girl!” Margaret’s hand collided with Bernie’s cheek and all of a sudden the room fell silent. Bernie lifted her hand to her sore cheek but refused to look at her mother. “You will take Mrs Campbell and the child back to Doctor Campbell right this minute. If you don’t I will never speak to you again!”

Bernie shook her head and tried to keep herself from smiling. Her cheek stung furiously but she would never give her mother the satisfaction of knowing she had hurt her. “You say that as if it’s some kind of threat,” she turned to look at her mother.

Margaret was taken aback for a moment. “You ungrateful girl,” her eyes filled with tears. “I have given you everything. I tried to do my best for you and this is how you repay me?”

“The best thing you did for me mother is to show me how I didn’t want to live my life,” Bernie said honestly. “I don’t want to be a wife. I don’t want to run a house or give birth. I don’t want to spend my days in the tea rooms gossiping with other idle and mindless women. I don’t want to marry someone out of convenience or arrangement. I do not want your life mother. I want what my father has.”

Margaret’s tears poured freely across her cheeks. “Get out of this house Berenice,” she said a cold voice. “You are no longer welcome here.”

Bernie nodded and was saddened that she felt only sorrow for leaving her father and Mrs Jones. She felt nothing for her mother. “I hope,” she began. “That there will come a time when you will see the real value women have. How strong and independent we are.” She headed toward the door. “And I hope, more than anything in the world, that one day will you care more about my happiness than the opinion of those judgmental women.”

With that Bernie opened the door and left the living room. Mrs Jones looked furious and Kate looked frightened. “I hope you’ll come visit,” she smiled at the cook.

“Every Sunday,” she said, giving her a big hug. “I’ll even come down to that clinic if I have to.”

Bernie swallowed the lump in her throat. “When I can afford it, perhaps...”

“Am not leavin’ yer father dear,” she took hold of Bernie’s hand and squeezed it tightly. “But I’ll keep yer offer in mind.”

Bernie kissed Mrs Jones’ cheek and then turned to Kate. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said, squeezing her shoulder.

“I don’t want to stay here miss,” she said quietly.

“You must,” Bernie hugged her. “You must serve out your notice and train the new girl that replaces you.”

“I’ll take care of yer dear,” Mrs Jones put her arm around Kate’s shoulders when Bernie pulled away. “Go Miss Wolfe, best not to stay here much longer.”

“Thank you,” she said as tears welled up in her eyes. “For everything.”

Leaving the house wasn’t difficult but leaving the people was the hardest thing she’d ever done. She stood out on the front steps, the door to her family home closed behind her forever. What would her father think? What would Serena think? Her breath came short and fast and she clung to the basket of food she held in her hands.

Bernie looked up at the dark sky and focused on the ghostly clouds that blocked out the stars. Life hadn’t quite turned out the way she had planned but this is what she’d been given and she knew she would do the best she could with it. Just as she always had. She counted to three and took a deep breath before she forced her feet to start moving.

One step at time at old girl, she thought as she felt a smile pull at her lips. One step at a time.

Bernie knew that when she arrived at the town house that she wouldn’t have much time before Serena appeared. She lit a fire in the fireplace and hoped it would get rid of some of the chill that had crept into the empty house through the day. She gathered the blankets and pillows from the bed and the throws that Kate had left at the bottom of the bed in case she got cold through the night. She carefully arranged them in front of the fire and was in the process of taking the food out of the basket when she heard the door open and close. She turned to see Serena who had her back to her in the process of shedding her coat. Bernie stood up and smoothed down her skirt before she made her way toward the other woman.

“Hello you,” she said. She grimaced at the nerves she heard in her voice.

Serena turned to look at her. She was all smiles and bright eyes and Bernie felt herself drift forward. Serena’s coat fell to the floor in a heap and her hands grabbed at Bernie’s hair again as their lips met. Each time they kissed, she was repeatedly surprised by how soft her lips were. Warm and slick as they slid against her own. Bernie clutched at Serena’s waist and brought her closer until they were pressed tightly together. She wanted to stay like this, locked together with this woman who seemed to spark something deep within her. She wanted to rebel against the world, defy all conventions and shout it from the roof tops.

Instead she broke the kiss and felt her stomach flutter at the small laugh Serena gave. Her eyes were still closed for a moment and Bernie committed her smile and flushed cheek to memory.

“Hello,” Serena said as she opened her eyes.

Bernie felt herself blush and she took Serena’s hand. “Come with me,” she said as she led her toward the living room. They stopped in the doorway and Bernie grew concerned when Serena’s face faltered. “What is it?” She asked, unsure if she wanted the answer.

“You...” Serena’s breath caught in her throat. “You did it...”

Bernie frowned at her and looked back at the space she’d set up in front of the fire. “Of course I did,” she said. “Should I...” the look on Serena’s face made Bernie wonder if she had been joking. Perhaps this hadn’t been what she wanted at all. “If this... isn’t... I can clear it away if...”

“No!” Serena finally turned to look at her. “I just... I didn’t think you...” she looked back at the picnic setting and smiled. “It’s very beautiful.”

Bernie smiled, a rush of relief spread through her body. “You must be hungry,” she said, holding her hand out for Serena to take. She led them to the blanket and she let Serena sit down first before she moved to the opposite side and sat down.

“Where did you get all this?” Serena asked when Bernie began to pass her food.

“Cook put it together for us,” she tried to keep her sorrow at bay but Serena’s hand caught her wrist which stopped her from passing more food.

“What happened?” She asked.

Bernie shook her head. “I had an argument with my mother,” she said. “Just one more in a long line of arguments.”

“Because of what happened last night?” Serena asked as her gaze lowered to the blanket.

Bernie took hold of the hand Serena had placed on her wrist and squeezed it. “We’ve done the right thing,” she said. “I don’t care what people say, I don’t regret getting you and Ellie out of that house.”

“Things will be harder now,” Serena looked up and their eyes met.

Bernie smiled. “We’re female surgeons,” she laughed. “Life is already hard and we’ve done just fine so far.”

“And we did all that alone,” Serena smiled. “Imagine what we can do together...”

Bernie’s stomach flipped, her heart beat increased. Together. “We can do whatever we want,” she said after a moment.

Serena laughed. “Nothing and no one will ever stand in our way again,” she said.

Bernie smirked. “You sound just like one of those rebellious suffragettes,” she teased.

Serena smirked. “Takes one to know one,” she winked and Bernie laughed.

“You are certainly my kind of lady,” she said but wished she could take it back. There was a flash of something in Serena’s eyes, something she couldn’t identify and Bernie shook her head. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly.

“No,” Serena said, her voice barely a whisper. “I erm... I’m still getting used to this...”

Bernie nodded. “Perhaps we should eat,” she turned away from Serena and focused on the food again. “You must be famished...”

“Bernie...”

Bernie froze at the sound of her name. It was the first time Serena had ever called her by her first name.

“Do you... you don’t mind do you..? If I... if I call you that?”

Bernie turned to see a hopeful smile on Serena’s lips. “Not at all,” she said. “Only if I may call you Serena..?”

Serena gave a nervous laugh. “I really rather like that.”

Bernie smiled and felt herself blush even before she asked her question. “Will you... could you say it again?”

Serena smiled, the firelight twinkling in her eyes. “Bernie.”

It was Bernie’s turn to laugh. “Yes,” she sighed. “It is rather nice isn’t it?”

The tension crackled in the air between them and Bernie watched as Serena placed the food back into the basket and put it to the side of the fire. Before she knew what had happened, Bernie found herself on her knees with Serena in her arms, their lips once again pressed together. This time, this time she wasn’t letting go.

Bernie circled her arms around Serena’s waist and held her close. Their lips slipped against each other until Bernie could no longer resist the urge to swipe her tongue against Serena’s bottom lip.

“Bernie...” she breathed out her name and Bernie deepened the kiss.

There was no battle of control between them. There didn’t need to be. They encouraged each other, showed each other what they wanted. When Serena’s hands came around the front of Bernie’s chest she drew away. “Are you sure?” She asked even though Serena had already begun to unfasten the buttons on her bodice.

“I’ve never been more sure,” she smiled.

Bernie helped her untuck her bodice and shrugged out of her skirt and petticoats before they turned their attention to Serena’s bodice. “Turn around,” Bernie whispered against her lips. Serena smiled and did as she was asked.

First of all, Bernie helped Serena out of her skirt and petticoats and they laughed when they threw them onto the growing pile of clothes. When Serena got back down on her knees, Bernie moved up behind her and wrapped her arms around her waist. Serena leaned back into her and Bernie grazed her lips across her shoulder and up her neck. Serena’s breath hitched when she reached the back of her ear and Bernie smiled. She placed a kiss there before she pulled back and began to let down Serena’s long dark curly hair. It spiralled down her back and Bernie ran her fingers through it, pushing it over one shoulder so that she could return to kissing Serena’s neck.

Serena leaned back once more and her head fell onto Bernie’s shoulder as a soft moan escaped her lips. From this vantage point, Bernie could see the deep rise and fall of Serena’s chest. While she continued to kiss Serena’s neck and shoulder, Bernie loosened the lace at the back of Serena’s corset. The deep rise and fall of Serena’s chest hastened as Bernie’s hands moved around her waist and moved smoothly up the bones of her corset. Serena gasped when Bernie released the top hook, by the second her hand was tangled in her short hair, by the third she had turned her head and had begun to kiss Bernie with such passion that she almost forgot about the corset.

“Faster,” Serena whispered as she pulled away.

Bernie smiled against her cheek as she continued to unhook the corset. “I thought you wanted to be slow,” she teased.

The hand Serena still hand in Bernie’s hair clenched slightly and Bernie laughed softly. “Not with you,” she turned her head and looked into her eyes. “Never with you... not when it’s just us...”

Bernie kissed her, long and deep whilst her hands made quick work of the corset. Once it was unfastened, Serena pulled it away from her and quickly turned around. Bernie reached behind her back and unfastened the lace on her own corset while Serena showered her chest with kisses. As soon as the lace was loose enough, Serena’s hands flew to the hooks. Her impatience and inexperience showed in her fingers as she fumbled with the last two and Bernie took hold of her hands.

“There’s no rush,” she smiled. Serena nodded and let out a breath before they worked together to relieve Bernie of the corset.

“May I?” Serena asked as her hands hovered over the straps of her chemise.

“Be my guest,” Bernie smiled at her and Serena rolled her eyes.

Serena leaned forward and placed a kiss on Bernie’s shoulder before removing the first strap. She then did the same thing on the other side and Bernie closed her eyes as Serena pulled the chemise down her arms. The air felt cool against her skin and she felt her nipple harden as Serena leaned forward and caught one between her teeth.

Bernie gasped and her back arched as Serena took her nipple into her mouth. She swirled her tongue over the hardened flesh and then let go. “Am I...” Bernie kissed her which put an end to her question. She knew what she was going to ask and she hoped that this kiss would let her know that she was doing more than fine.

“Lay down,” Bernie whispered and Serena lay on her back; their eyes never lost contact as they moved.

Bernie crawled over Serena’s body and dropped a kiss to the base of her neck. She arched her back when Bernie pulled down her chemise enough to massage and taste her dark nipples. When Serena groaned in frustration, Bernie crawled back over her and lay between her legs. Their breasts touched and Serena groaned while Bernie smiled at her. They kissed again, their tongues and teeth explored each other’s sensitive spots until Serena wriggled underneath her.

They giggled while they each unfastened their boots as quickly as they could and kicked them off. Serena lay back against the blankets again and held her arms open for Bernie to follow. She kissed Serena’s lips, dragged her tongue along her jaw and kissed her way down her neck. She teased Serena’s nipples into tight peaks once more before moving further down. She felt Serena tense underneath her and she looked up to see her watching her. Her eyes were dark and hooded but she was watching curiously, wantonly. As she grew closer to her open drawers she could smell Serena’s arousal. A heavy musk that made Bernie’s mouth water and she felt a rush of arousal between her own legs. She lay on her stomach between Serena’s legs and pushed them further apart until she was fully open to her.

“Bernie...” her voice was thick with lust. “Please.”

She didn’t need to be asked twice. In one swift movement Bernie brushed her tongue through her folds. Serena’s head snapped back and a cry left her mouth. Bernie did it again, relished the salty fluid on her tongue and the delicious smell she was surrounded by. Never had she had this before. Never had she been so consumed by a person, by their smell and their taste. By their every movement and sound. She sucked on the bundle of nerves that had been begging to be touched and Serena’s eyes flew open just as Bernie looked up at her. Serena reached a hand down and grasped one of Bernie’s tightly.

“Bern...”

The pleasure Serena experienced was evident in every movement her body made and Bernie was mesmerised. A flush crept up her chest, her nipples tight. Her stomach clenched as she neared her end, her thighs tightened and shook on either side of her neck. Her breaths came out as pants and groans that sounded as though they were pushed up from her stomach. But Bernie’s favourite part was the deep guttural sound that emanated from Serena’s chest as all of a sudden she tensed. A gush of salty liquid spread over Bernie’s tongue as she felt Serena trembling underneath her lips.

When she looked up, Serena’s eyes were on the ceiling as she tried to catch her breath. Her stomach and chest were covered in a thin sheen of sweat and the flush over her skin had deepened. She looked like she was glowing. When Serena finally lifted her head and looked down, Bernie knew that she could never send her away. She could never be apart from this exquisite woman. This was it for her. This was the woman she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah! That got out of hand FAST!
> 
> Isn’t history fun? Aren’t you guys glad you know that many woman essentially wore crotch-less drawers? Now I let you go forth and be free unto the world to have your own Victorian lesbian crotch-less drawer fantasies. I’m so kind!
> 
> Ha! Don’t worry, this is so not the end of this fic. Not by a long shot!! Hope you don’t mind that this is going to go on for quite some time! And in case you’re wondering (you’re probably not), the scene that inspired the fic is when Bernie unfastened Serena’s corset. Let that speak for itself.... *blushes*
> 
> Thanks for reading and please do let me know what you thought. I don’t write love/sex/smut scenes very often and I’m not all that confident with them so feedback will be most welcome!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look at that! It’s 3am and Rex is still awake. Are we surprised? No we are not! What am I doing awake? Fuck knows! But what I do know is that I keep watching that hug scene and I firmly believe that it could quite easily ruin my life. Anyone else?
> 
> So before this chapter begins, I just want to say that I’m so sorry for the delay in getting this out! My WWII Berena AU took over my imagination a little bit and in the last two weeks the theatre season at my work has begun again and when the shows are back on the stage, work tends to take over and I have very little time for a social life. Lol! Social life! What I meant was, I don’t have as much time to obsess over Berena and write fanfics.
> 
> Things are about to take a slightly darker tone in coming chapters. It sort of begins in this one but there’s no real warnings yet. Except I would like to remind everyone, NO ONE DIES! Teehee. I’ll be sure to put in any warnings in the opening notes just to be on the safe side. 
> 
> Anyway, maybe I’ll head to bed now? Well I am in bed but I’m just not asleep. Obviously because I’m writing..... I feel like I’m going around in circles.... and now I’ve lost my train of thought....
> 
> Thank you everyone for reviewing and reading this fic. I adore you all and wish I could give you all a great big Bernie hug!! 
> 
> xxx

Chapter 11 

As the weeks passed, Bernie worked hard at getting her home in top condition. Elinor had grown accustomed to their new way of living and seemed to be flourishing at home and at school. Serena had been surprised by the change in her daughter had expressed her delight in many ways when they were alone. 

Christmas had come and gone. It had been a joyous celebration with so many people at the table in Bernie’s home that they almost didn’t fit around the table. Raf, Morgan and Fletch came along with all of Fletch’s kids, or the ‘Fletchings’ as Serena had fondly named them. Essie and Sasha, who had become fast friends of Bernie’s, had also been there and had brought with them enough chocolate to feed the whole of Holby. Kate had stayed for dinner before visiting her family and even Mrs Jones had joined them for a sherry later in the evening.

Bernie had been forced to wait until the 29th of December before she got to see her father. Her mother had stuck to her word and was still ignoring Bernie’s existence. Her father, however, visited as regularly as he could. He even helped at the clinic when he had time. 

Officially, Serena and Ellie had taken over the guest bedroom. But since their fireside picnic, Serena had spent most of her nights at Bernie’s side, rising before dawn to sneak back into bed with her daughter. 

All in all, life couldn’t have been better.

It was a cold January morning that Bernie awoke to find Serena standing by the window deep in thought. She had wrapped her shawl around her naked body and Bernie didn’t hide her admiration for her lover’s legs. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Bernie tucked the blanket around her body as she sat up against the headboard. 

Serena gave a weak smile but her eyes remained on whatever was happening outside. “Is that all they’re worth?” She asked and despite the smile on her lips, her voice was remorseful.

Bernie grew concerned. “What is it?”

Serena sighed and shook her head. “Nothing,” she turned to look at her but Bernie could see the lie in her eyes now.

Bernie pushed the bed covers away from her body as she climbed out of bed and slipped into her dressing gown. She made her way toward Serena and stood opposite her. Serena had returned her eyes to the window. “I know you well enough Serena to know that there is something on your mind.”

“I’m just wondering how much longer we can go on like this,” Serena said softly. 

Bernie frowned and a heavy feeling landed in her stomach. “Are... are you... unhappy?”

Serena’s eyes snapped back to Bernie. “No,” she said without hesitation. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy.”

“Then I don’t understand...” she began and Serena sighed. 

“Nothing ever lasts,” she said after a moment. “I’m wondering how much longer we have in this little paradise we’ve created for ourselves before someone takes it away from ys.”

Bernie took hold of her hands. “Nothing will get in our way,” she said. “We won’t let anything come between us.”

“What if people find out?” Serena’s eyes filled with worry.

“How will they find out?” Bernie lead her toward the bed and they sat down. “No one knows but us and Kate and I trust her with my life. She would never betray us.”

“What if Ellie were to say something accidentally or...”

“She doesn’t know anything,” Bernie reassured her. “It’s not unusual for women to share a bed, you said so yourself. Ellie won’t think anything of it.”

Serena smiled. “But we’re not just sharing a bed though, are we?”

Bernie rolled her eyes and felt herself blush. “Definitely not,” she looked down at their hands. “But Ellie doesn’t know about any of that,” she added. “This room, once that door is locked, is ours. This is our world. Our secret bubble. No one is getting in and even if they did, it wouldn’t change the way I...” she paused. They had spent hours learning each other’s bodies, exploring what they liked and what made each other weak at the knees. They talked about everything, every aspect of their lives but they had yet to broach the topic of their feelings. Feelings toward each other. 

“The way you feel about me?” Serena asked and Bernie nodded silently, still unable to look at her. “And how do you feel about me?” 

“I...” she paused. She knew how she felt, had known a long time but for whatever reason, she couldn’t say it out loud. “I like...” she let out a frustrated sigh and shook her head. She took a deep breath and then lifted her eyes to meet Serena’s. “I... more than... like you...” she felt as though she was failing. 

Serena’s smile was enough to calm Bernie’s nerves. “I more than like you too,” she said and Bernie felt giddy. “I should go back to my bedroom.”

“Just a little longer,” Bernie leaned forward and kissed Serena softly. The other woman laughed and gently pushed Bernie away. 

“I know you,” she said with a stern look. “I know where this will lead.”

Bernie let out a groan and dropped her head onto Serena’s shoulder. “Early night tonight?” she dropped a kiss onto her neck.

“Definitely,” Serena smiled as she lifted Bernie’s head to kiss her. “I’ll see you soon.”

The Clinic was as busy as ever. Burns, crushed limbs, head injuries; the typical cases one could expect from an industrial town. Bernie had just finished amputating a young man’s arm when she spotted Mr Hanssen at the end of the ward. He was looking down his long nose at Mickey, who seemed to be very interested in the tall man. 

“How do I get to be as tall as you then?” Mickey folded his arms over his chest in a way that reminded Bernie of his father. 

“Genetics,” Mr Hanssen said, his eyes shifted and Bernie knew he was a little uncomfortable. 

“You what?” Mickey pulled a face.

Bernie laughed to herself and quickly interrupted. “Mr Hanssen is tall because one or both of his parents had been tall,” she pushed Mickey’s hair off his forehead. “You have blue eyes because your father has blue eyes. Babies get their appearance from their parents.” 

“So did your parents have blonde hair?” He asked. Bernie nodded and smiled. “But my parents aren’t very tall, does that mean I’ll always be this short?”

Bernie laughed again. “You’re still growing,” she said, handing him her apron. “One day you will be much taller than you are now.” Mickey sighed and flung the apron over his shoulder. “Go help your father with clean up in the operating room,” she watched him leave before she turned her attention to Mr Hanssen.

“Is it wise to have a child here?” his eyes narrowed as he watched Mickey disappear into the operating room. 

“He’s a good worker,” Bernie said. “He needed an employer and I needed a runner when I’m on a home visit or at the workhouse. It seemed a reasonable arrangement.” 

“Indeed,” he didn’t look convinced. “I’m sending you on Secondment to the General Hospital.”

The sudden change in conversation threw Bernie and it took her a few moments for her mind to catch up. “Excuse me?” She asked with a frown. 

“There was a request for a doctor with specialised skills in trauma surgery,” he said.

“And you wish to send me?” She asked.

“Yes,” Mr Hanssen looked at her over the rim of his glasses. 

“But I’m needed here at The Clinic...”

“I want to build this clinics profile Major Wolfe,” he interrupted. Using her military title was a smart move and a small part of her hated him for it. “The General require a trauma surgeon and I have one they can use. You’re due on the ward this afternoon...”

Bernie felt her stomach drop and her anger rise. “This afternoon?”

“Yes,” Mr Hanssen began to walk away. “I’ll have a carriage collect you at one o’clock.”

“But I...”

“You have your new orders Major,” he had stopped to look at her over his shoulder. “I’m sure you wouldn’t wish to let me or The Clinic down.”

Bernie watched him walk out of the ward before she turned on her heel and stormed into the office. The door slammed behind her. “That blasted man!”

Her sudden outburst made the other two surgeons jump. She knew she should apologise but she was too angry to say the words out loud. 

“What is it?” Raf asked.

Bernie sighed and turned her eyes toward Serena. “I’ve been Seconded to the General Hospital,” she said, her heart clenched for a moment with concern. 

“What?” Serena rose from her chair, her face ashen. 

“Oh, that’s great!” Raf smiled and when Bernie looked at him, he frowned. “That’s not great?”

“When?” Serena asked, her voice barely above a whisper. 

Bernie didn’t need to ask why she was worried; they were worried about the same thing. “I have to be on the ward this afternoon,” she said. Serena’s lips thinned. 

“For how long?” She asked.

“I don’t know,” Bernie shrugged. “Until they no longer have a use for me.”

“Bernie...” Serena stopped herself from whatever she was about to say. “Edward...”

The name gave Bernie a tight feeling in her chest. “I know,” she nodded.

“You think this is coming from him?” Raf asked. Bernie was glad he spoke up, she’d almost forgotten he was there. 

“Mr Hanssen said it would help raise the profile of The Clinic,” Bernie said to him.

“He could have asked for you,” Raf said.

Serena shook her head. “He doens’t work surgery cases now,” she said quietly. “And even if he did, he would never tolerate a woman in his theatre.”

“Well we’ll know for sure in an hour,” Raf said with a heavy sigh.

Bernie looked over at Serena and gave her a slight smile. “It will be alright,” she said quietly. 

“I hope you’re right,” Serena said and Bernie could see the worry in her eyes. 

The General Hospital was exactly what Bernie had always imagined. Cold, impersonal and exclusively for the upper classes. She had only been on the ward 20 minutes and already she hated it. The people she had met so far had been cordial enough but she couldn't help but notice that they greeted her with terse smiles. They were no happier to have her there than she was being there. However there had been one face, one familiar face that had lit up when he set eyes on her.

"Bernie!" Marcus Dunne strode toward her and after a moment’s hesitation, he shook her hand. "Best keep it professional on the ward," he smiled. "And I suppose I should call you Doctor Wolfe instead of..."

"Major Wolfe," she corrected him and she watched his smile falter. “The doctors here seem to respond better to Major than doctor.” 

Marcus gave a slight smile. “I admit that I was surprised to see your name on the consultants board,” he said. “But the Board wish to see more female surgeons in theatre.”

Bernie frowned. “Really?” 

“I shouldn’t tell you this,” he looked over his shoulder to make sure no one was listening in on their conversation. “Doctor Edward Campbell tried to block the appointment and he’s been benched for it.”

Bernie was surprised by the news. The medical industry was small in Holby and news tended to spread like wildfire. The hospital must have kept this quiet due to who Edward was. This, along with the public knowledge of his marital breakdown, would be embarrassing for The General’s reputation. 

“I assume he isn’t taking his probation well,” she said eventually. 

“I would avoid him if I were you,” Marcus nodded.

“Are you still working closely with him?” She asked.

Marcus nodded. “As soon as he learned of our connection he has kept me close.” That worried Bernie tremendously. She grabbed Marcus by the arm and pulled him off the ward and into the small garden in the courtyard.

“Has he asked about me?” She asked.

Marcus looked to the ground, his hands flexing by his sides. She knew that look. He was nervous. “He has asked... a few things...”

“Such as?” She prompted with force.

Marcus sighed. “He wanted to know why you haven’t married yet.”

Bernie felt her chest tighten. “And what did you tell him?”

“I told him that I was...” he paused. “That I held great affection for you... and that your time in Africa had put your life on hold...”

Bernie gave him a sad smile. “Oh, Marcus...”

“But now that you’re back, now that you’re home, we might...”

“No,” she said softly. “I do not wish to marry. Not just you, this isn’t you, I do not wish to marry at all.”

Marcus looked away. “It’s Doctor Campbell, isn’t it?”

“I wouldn’t let him dictate anything in my life, he...”

“I meant her,” Marcus interrupted.

Bernie froze. Was he really asking what she thought he was asking? “I... what would she have to do with this?”

“Edward...” he sighed again. “He said his wife... that there’s something wrong with her... something... un-Christian...”

Bernie was glad she didn’t pass out at what Marcus told her. How could this happen? “What are you saying?”

“Edward thinks his wife...” he looked around them again just to be sure they were alone. “That she enjoys the company of... of her own sex. She likes... female lovers.”

Bernie felt her breath quicken and she placed her hand on her stomach as it turned all of a sudden. She stumbled away from Marcus and he quickly reached for her to steady her. “I know it’s a lot to take in,” he said to her. “I didn’t want to believe it... in fact I don’t believe it but... I don’t want you to be tainted by this association if Edward...”

Bernie’s eyes filled with tears. Serena had been right; nothing ever lasts.

“Myself and the Board think he’s upset that she left him,” Marcus continued in an attempt to comfort her. “No one believes him... they think he’s lost his marbles but you know what rumours can do Bernie.”

“Edward isn’t going to let this be,” she said to him. “Serena is... she’s my friend...”

“I know,” Marcus said sadly. “But you need to know... Edward said that there was a girl. Someone who she took on as a lover... a maid that looked after the child.”

“That’s impossible,” Bernie said before she could stop herself. She and Serena had spent hours talking, sharing their thoughts and experiences. She knew everything about her, knew that the evening they spent in front of the fireplace had been her first time with a woman. And she trusted Serena to tell her the truth.

“How would you know?” Marcus asked her kindly.

“Serena has become a good friend,” Bernie said as she pulled away from him. “She’s... like a sister to me.”

“So there’s no truth to it?” He asked.

“None at all,” she said as she tried to ignore the feeling of dread creeping into her heart. She took a deep breath to steady her nerves as she tried to get her emotions back under control. 

“And this has nothing to do with your decision to get married?” He asked tentatively.

“Edward’s behaviour toward his wife and child have certainly shown me what some marriages can be like,” she gave an angry sigh. “But no,” she said. “If I were to marry I would be expected to leave my career and raise a family. I love what I do and I want to help people, Marcus. Marriage doesn’t give me that freedom.”

“But I would,” he said softly.

Bernie gave him a warm smile. “I know,” she said. “But you want children and I... I don’t. There are so many children that need my help already, so many living on the streets... it wouldn’t feel right to bring more children into a world where so many of them grow up in poverty or die from starvation.”

Marcus smiled. “You are a good woman Bernie,” he said as she leaned forward and kissed her cheek. “It’s why I’ll always love you.”

“One day you’ll find someone better suited,” she said. “Someone who will love you as deeply as you love them.”

Marcus gave her a slight smile but Bernie knew he was hurt. “I’ll try to keep Edward away from you... and his wife,” he said. “Anyone who tries to ruin my oldest friend’s life, or those close to her, makes an enemy of me too.”

“Thank you,” Bernie smiled despite the guilt that gnawed at her stomach. Marcus was on her side because she had told him a lie but what option did she have? She knew she couldn’t tell him the truth and she would never put Serena or Ellie at risk, no matter how much her guilt ate at her conscience. 

Bernie spent the rest of the day getting to know the Hospital layout and her less than amiable colleagues. At the back of her mind she knew that sooner or later, she would need to speak with Serena about what she had learned from Marcus. About what Edward was trying to do. But she knew that once she did, things would change between them. Bernie knew it was selfish but she didn’t care. She wanted to keep the perfect world that she and Serena had created just a little longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry to leave it on a slightly sad note. But things will look up in the next chapter! I promise. Bernie will be a badass doctor, well as badass as Victorian women can be (in the real world of course cause we’ve all seen how badass lizard lesbian’s can be, am I right?), but we’ll have a lot of fun putting her male peers to shame! Also, Bernie might get home in time to see Serena in the bath in front of the fireplace.... maybe... possibly... I can’t say for sure... I know, I’m such a bitch for teasing! 
> 
> Thank you for reading and please do let me know what you’re thinking! 
> 
> Night night! xxx


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends! Well, it’s been quite a while hasn’t it? I’m sorry for that. With work being very busy and Holby being so depressing, my muse sort of avoided me for a while. But I kept my writing up with prompts on tumblr and which actually helped a huge amount when I finally sat down and began this chapter.
> 
> I hope you all had wonderful Easter bank holidays and that you ate as much chocolate as I did – though I was very good this year, I also ate a basket of strawberries. I’m so proud of myself! *wipes away tear* 
> 
> Anyway, I’m hoping to get back into the habit of updating this, my prompts collections (seeing as though I have a lot to add from tumblr) and my WWII fic. Especially as I have two new AU’s simmering in my brain that is threatening to spill out! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter and I’m sorry once again for the lack of updates. I’m also sorry for not replying to people’s comments, that’s so rude of me! I’ll get on that right now :)

Chapter 12

Life at The General Hospital was beginning to take its toll on Bernie. The people were not openly unkind but it was clear from the way they avoided her that despite her experience, her knowledge and her impressive skills, she was still unwelcome. Her biggest allies, apart from Marcus who had delighted in taking on the role of double agent alongside his studies, had been the nurses. Regularly mistreated and belittled by the male doctors, they had drifted to Bernie’s side almost as soon as she arrived. It had been refreshing to have the moral support of the nurses and they had been at times been her only source of company. She missed the clinic terribly. Missed the family feel, the hectic waiting area, the burnt coal smell that lingered on the air when she made her way to work each morning. She missed Fletch and Raf’s jokes and Morven’s sweet smiling face when she greeted her each day. Most of all she missed Serena. She missed working alongside her, never more so than when they would lay beside each other in bed and she would listen to her lover talk about her day at the clinic.

With the clinic down a surgeon, Serena had to work more hours, which meant she regularly didn’t make it home for dinner. The one good thing about The General was the strict hours their staff kept. Being home by half past five meant that Bernie could spend some time with Ellie. She always helped her with homework, they took regular walks together along the river before dinner and to Ellie’s delight, worked on The Adventures of Ellie and Bernie.

Bernie had never wanted children but spending time with Ellie made her realise how wonderful it could be. While she still didn’t want children of her own, she very much welcomed Ellie into her life. She couldn’t bear the thought of giving up their pre-dinner playtime which often found them dressed up as pirates or knights. It was one of the few parts of her day that she looked forward to now.

First thing in the morning, Serena would leave and Bernie would take Ellie to school. She smiled to herself when she thought of the way Ellie always hugged her and made her promise to play whatever game she fancied that day when she got home from school. Bernie wasn’t ashamed that she had been counting down the hours until her shift ended but it wasn’t a feeling she liked. She hoped that it really was as temporary as Hanssen promised her it would be.

She made her way onto the ward where around a dozen 'respectable' gentlemen were sitting in their beds. A small group of men, along with their teacher, Mr Neil Fisher, surrounded an unconscious man in his bed.

"Come on Bowers, you're up next," Mr Fisher said.

Mr Jeffery Bowers, a tall and over confident student, took off his jacket and strode toward the unconscious man while turning up his shirt sleeves. "Watch and learn gentlemen," he said, shooting his peers a cheeky smile. Bernie couldn't help herself, she made her way toward the men as Mr Bowers picked up the unconscious man's leg and began to pull it.

"What on earth are you doing?" Bernie asked. She noticed Marcus in the background and he shook his head discreetly so that only she would pick up on it.

"Teaching," Mr Fisher said with a dismissive air. "Carry on Bowers."

Mr Bowers continued to pull at the leg until he lost his footing and slipped on the floor. He fell with a loud thud but got up as quick as he could, shooting his peers with a glare if he caught them laughing.

"What are you trying to achieve?" Bernie asked.

Mr Fisher turned to look at her as if she were standing in her corset and little else. "A dislocated hip," he said, turning back to the men.

"And you're trying to put it back in place by pulling on it?" She was astonished.

"I know what I'm doing Miss Wolfe," Mr Fisher sneered.

"Clearly not," she snapped. "And it's Major Wolfe."

She dumped her books and bag into the arms of a student she didn't yet know and made her way toward the unconscious man. "A dislocation needs to be eased back in," she said to the group of students as she picked up the front of her skirts.

"Er miss... Major Wolfe..." Mr Fisher looked panicked as Bernie tucked her skirt into the front of her belt, her stockinged legs on show from the knee down.

"Come now Mr Fisher," she smirked at how red his face had gone. "You're a physician. Surely you're used to seeing a lady's stockings?" Some of the students snickered and Bernie knew it would do nothing to endear Mr Fisher toward her. "Now then, the best way to repair a dislocation is with brute force and a little twist," she strode toward the man and picked up his leg. He was heavy but no heavier than the men in full uniform on the battlefield. She tucked the man's leg under her arm and felt it rest against her back. She then placed her foot carefully on the man's groin as close to his hip as she could get. "He's fortunate to be out cold," she said with a smirk. "Because this would have hurt like hell." And with that she twisted the leg and pushed the hip back into place with a resounding crack.

"Oh heavens," someone said from the back, his voice shaky.

"The legs need binding together," she put the leg down and checked that the hip was back in place. "Mr Bowers and Mr Dunne, perhaps the two of you would like to take over this gentleman's treatment?" They nodded enthusiastically and Bernie could have sworn that she saw Marcus smile at her. "I will take this man under my care Mr Fisher," she informed him. He looked furious. "Good day to you." She smiled at him and then collected her books and bag and quickly left the ward.

"Excuse me, Major?"

Bernie turned to see the man who she had given her books. "Yes?"

"I just, I wanted to say thank you." He gave her a slight smile.

Bernie frowned. "What for?"

"For your impromptu lesson just now," he said. "That was..." He smiled nervously. "I was very impressed by all that in there."

Bernie smiled. "Well, thank you," she said. "But it really wasn't anything to show off about. Dislocations and gunshot wounds are nothing more than a nuisance on the battlefield."

"I was wondering," he said as he indicated for them to keep walking. "I know that you will be taking on rounds next week and I hoped that I might be able to reserve a place."

Bernie smiled. "Do you have a particular interest in trauma surgery?"

"I have an interest in surgery," he said eagerly. "I want to get as much experience as I can. I'm a good student, a good doctor but I want to be the best."

"And you think you can be under me?" She tested him.

"You've only been here a few days and already you've shown that you're the best doctor here.”

Bernie smiled and rolled her eyes slightly. She was used to young ambitious men trying to flatter her in the hopes her head would be turned enough for her to favour them. It never worked of course but she found it entertaining to watch none the less. However, this young man was different. He wasn’t the usual privileged boy one encountered in the student pools in hospitals and if Bernie were honest, she was actually curious. “What’s your name?”

“Dominic Copeland,” he gave her a charming grin and they shook hands.

“Well then, Mr Copeland,” Bernie smiled. “Hand in your registration form and I’ll certainly consider it.”

Dominic smiled. “You won’t regret having me on your rounds,” he said. “I’ll make you proud.”

Bernie laughed a little as she quickly dropped off her books in her office. Dominic was waiting just outside and she quickly pulled her coat on and collected her bag. “Are you walking out?” she asked him.

He nodded. “My father owns a dress makers shop and I said I’d be home in time to help him unload the newest stock.”

“You don’t mind working after a full day at the hospital?” I asked.

“A good day’s work and so on,” he shrugged. “My parents worked hard to send me to medical school. I’ve always been more than happy to help them in any way I can.”

“You’re a good son,” Bernie acknowledged.

“And an even greater student,” he winked and Bernie laughed.

“Yes, well, we’ll see about that,” she joked.

They stopped walking just they got outside the hospital doors. Dominic turned to shake her hand once more. “It was wonderful to meet you today Major Wolfe, I look forward to more impromptu lessons tomorrow.”

Bernie smirked and she watched him retrieve a bicycle from the hospital wall. “Is that yours?” She asked.

“Zeus,” Dominic smiled proudly and patted the seat.

“You’ve named it?” Bernie exclaimed with a grin.

“Of course I have!” He ginned too. “Every bicycle needs a name.”

“And how much would one cost?” Bernie asked, thinking about the difference it would make to the clinic if they needed to be somewhere in a hurry.

Dominic looked down at the bicycle and scoffed. “Just your reputation,” he said.

“I think that was destroyed years ago,” Bernie mumbled as she walked closer to the bicycle.

“You can try him if you like?” Dominic suggested.

Bernie smiled. “Be careful Mr Copeland, I might just take you up on that offer.”

Dominic laughed. “There’s a park just over there,” he nodded toward the large gates at the end of the street. “If you’re going my way perhaps you’d like to try it?”

Bernie grinned. “I’m game if you are,” she said with a shrug. They headed for the park and once they had set their belongings down under a tree, Dominic handed her the bicycle. 

“Not sure how you’ll manage with all those skirts,” Dominic nodded to her skirts.

Bernie rolled her eyes. “The same way I managed back on the ward,” she said as she lifted up her skirts and began to stuff it into her belt. 

Dominic watched her with an amused expression and occasionally looked up around them. “I hope you don’t care about anyone watching you,” he mumbled. 

“I doubt I’ll see any of them again,” she hoisted her leg over the middle bar. 

“Best to push yourself with your legs and then find the stirrups once you have your balance,” Dominic instructed. “You want to start peddling as soon as you can.”

For a moment, Bernie felt her nerves coil in the pit of her stomach. “I think I may go in the direction of the grass,” she said and Dominic nodded in agreement. 

Bernie got herself situated on the seat and managed to keep herself balanced on her tiptoes. She kept in mind what Dominic had said and began to push herself over the grass. She was wobbly at first, barely able to get her feet on the peddles before she needed to put them back down on the ground. 

“I’ve got it!” Bernie exclaimed as she finally managed to balance on the bike to get enough speed. She let out a loud laugh and turned to see Dominic running just behind her. 

“Try turning the handles!” He said to her.

The bicycle shook as Bernie turned the handle bars gently. The bicycle turned and she kept going until she ended up back where they began. Dominic ran toward her and helped her slow down by pulling on the handlebars. “You’re a natural, Major Wolfe,” he laughed. 

Bernie lifted her legs over the seat and pulled down her skirts. “That was rather thrilling,” she laughed with him. “Now where can I buy two?”

Dominic laughed again. “A friend of mine, Oliver Valentine, keeps a shop on Bedfordberry. He’ll sort you out.”

“Thank you,” Bernie smiled and collected her belongings.

“Mention my name, he’ll give you a favourable deal,” he said as he climbed onto his bicycle. 

Bernie nodded her thanks. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said as she watched him cycle away. 

Having two bicycles at their disposal at the clinic would change everything. Being able to get wherever they were needed in a hurry could mean the difference between life and death for their patients. But bicycles were expensive and buying two would be a challenge to fund. She smiled to herself as she headed to the school to collect Ellie; she knew Serena would have no trouble persuading a few wealthy gentlemen to part with their money.

Dinner was a hectic affair. Fletch and his kids had come home with Serena with a big basket full of freshly baked goods from a grateful baker whom Serena had treated a few weeks ago. Kate had joined them, a little pleased that she didn’t have to cook for so many mouths at short notice, and they had each perhaps drank a little too much wine.

After Fletch and the kids left, Kate filled the copper bath in the kitchen with hot water for them. Bernie had insisted that Kate retire to bed and she helped Ellie get bathed. 

“Do you need a hand?” Serena asked from the doorway as Bernie lifted Ellie from the bath. 

She turned to look at her with a smile. “We’re just finishing,” she said as she wrapped a warm towel around the little girl. 

“Bernie is going to read a Grimm story to me,” Ellie said excitedly.

Serena frowned at them both. “I promise to select one that isn’t too frightening,” Bernie said quickly. 

“But I...” Ellie began but was soon silenced by Serena.

“Elinor you know what happens when you read one of the frightening ones before bed,” she said walking toward them. 

“But I’m bigger now,” Ellie’s voice was muffled behind the towel as Bernie dried her off. 

“You still get nightmares,” Serena kissed her daughter on the head. 

“We’ll read Little Red Riding Hood,” Bernie suggested. “We’ve read that before haven’t we?”

“Yes,” Ellie sighed. “Can I read the gory bits?”

Bernie smiled. “Yes,” she pulled the girls nightgown over her head. “Now go brush your hair and I’ll plait it before bed.”

Ellie kissed her mother goodnight and ran out of the kitchen. 

“If she has nightmares, you can be the one who sits up with her,” Serena smirked. 

“Happy to,” Bernie stood up and made her way toward Serena. “Busy day?”

Serena nodded and rubbed at the back of her neck. “One of the vats at the brewers was knocked over, we had three men – they were boys really – all needed treatment for burns. To make matters worse, there seems to be a flu epidemic on its way.”

“You’ll be careful?” Bernie reached a hand to push a stray strand of hair from Serena’s forehead.

“Always,” she smiled and reached up to kiss Bernie on the lips. 

They were still for a moment, their heads bowed close together. It had been a few days since they’d had an evening to themselves where one or both of them weren’t desperate for sleep. Having Serena so close, Bernie felt the familiar tingle in her stomach and she edged closer. “Serena...”

Their lips met in a flurry. Serena’s hands were in Bernie’s hair as she kept their lips pressed together. Bernie moaned against her lips and her arms wrapped around her waist, pulling their hips together, the desire burned brightly between.

“Bernie!” Ellie’s voice sang through the corridor and into the kitchen. “I’m ready!”

Bernie laughed against Serena’s lips as the other woman refused to let her go. “I... have... to...” Bernie tried but Serena pushed her tongue into her mouth. It would be so easy to stay like this, to forget for a moment that what they had between them was still a secret. But she knew they couldn’t. With Edward still spreading rumours, and little Ellie so innocent to what she might inadvertently say at school, they had to be careful. Bernie slowly began to pull away, to untwine Serena’s fingers from her hair and put distance between them. “She’ll come looking for me if I don’t go,” Bernie said when Serena grumbled her irritation. Bernie kissed her cheek and gave her a smile. “Take a quick bath and then once I’ve bathed, you can dry me off,” she winked at her and left before Serena could get her hands on her again.

It hadn’t taken much to get Ellie to sleep. They hadn’t even reached the part where the wolf was in grandmother’s bed. Bernie had tucked the little girl under the covers, kissed her on the forehead and blew out the candles before she crept out of the room. The door to Bernie’s room was closed and she smiled to herself at what was waiting for her behind it. She tried not to think too much about feeling Serena’s soft breasts against her chest, the weighty delights in her hands or under her tongue. She took a deep breath, steady on Wolfe. 

When she opened the door to the kitchen she paused in the doorway. 

“Care to join me?” Serena asked from the tub. She snaked a wet, naked arm over the top of the bath and beckoned her forward. Bernie smirked and did as she asked, stripping off her clothes as quick as she could without stumbling over her petticoats. 

“I thought you were in the bedroom,” Bernie said as she climbed into the tub. Serena’s eyes watched her appreciatively as she opened her arms and legs to welcome her. Bernie smiled and turned her back to sit between Serena’s legs, she leaned back against Serena’s chest and sighed as her lover folded her arms around her. The water was thankfully still warm due to the roaring fire Kate had lit. They could probably relax in the water for a little while. 

“I thought I could help get you clean,” Serena said in her ear.

Bernie laughed at that. She ran her hands down Serena’s legs and turned her head to look at her. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you had ulterior motives.”

“Never!” Serena laughed and she rubbed her nose against Bernie’s. “Tell me about your day.”

Bernie began to fill Serena in on everything that had happened. They had laughed together over the looks Bernie described on the faces of the males doctors when she pulled up her skirts and proceeded to pop the man’s hip back into place. She told her all about Dominic Copeland and her adventure in the park. 

“I bet you gave everyone in the park a shock,” Serena laughed. 

“Most likely,” Bernie agreed. “I think we should use them at the clinic.”

“I think the heat has gone to your head,” Serena kissed the pulse point on Bernie’s neck. 

“You’ve always said that carriages are too expensive,” Bernie pointed out. “How many patients have we lost because we didn’t get there in time?”

“Bernie...” Serena sighed. 

“Would you just think about it?” Bernie asked. “Think about it for the next few days and then tell me your thoughts.”

“No one will fund this,” Serena said. 

“You can get anyone to fund whatever you put your mind to,” Bernie smiled. “You and your flirting.”

“I do not flirt,” Serena laughed. 

“Oh, of course,” Bernie looked down at Serena’s hand which was now making its way up her sternum. “I must be thinking of someone else.”

“Another brunette you keep hidden somewhere?” Serena teased. 

“I have one in every street,” Bernie’s breath hitched when Serena’s thumb flicked over her nipple. 

“Then I’ll just have to make sure that I’m the one always on your mind,” she said as her other hand lowered across Bernie’s stomach. 

“You have no trouble with that,” Bernie whispered. She held her breath as she waited for Serena’s hand to lower even more but she moved with a slowness that Bernie thought would kill her. She sat up a little, hoping the angle would make it easier for Serena to reach. Instead, Serena’s hand stilled in her pubic hair and she used her other hand to massage Bernie’s breast. 

“You feel a little tense dear,” Serena breathed into her ear. 

“Serena...” Bernie let out her breath and she grabbed the hand Serena held above where she so desperately wanted it. “Please...”

“Begging are we?” Serena licked at Bernie’s ear. 

“Please Serena,” Bernie pushed on her hand. “Please... I need you... I want you.” She turned her head and caught Serena’s lips with her own. Serena groaned into the kiss and Bernie smiled to herself, it appeared Serena was just as desperate as she was, despite her slow movements. 

Without warning, Serena’s hand dipped between her legs and Bernie broke the kiss to let out a deep guttural sound. Her fingers slipped inside her easily and Bernie arched back against Serena, her head falling onto her shoulder. 

“Yes...” she sighed and Serena made a shushing sound in her ear. They had never had sex outside the safety of their bedroom since the night of the picnic and Bernie knew they had to be quiet, to be extra careful with people in the apartment. But it was hard. Serena’s fingers curled in just the right way, pressing against that place inside her that made her toes curl. “Serena...”

“You must be quiet my darling,” Serena breathed heavily into her ear. Bernie nodded and bit down on her lip in an attempt to silence herself. When Serena’s thumb pressed against her clit, she gasped and covered her mouth to muffle her moans. 

Her orgasm ripped through her body, bringing with it Serena’s name which was quickly covered up with a kiss. Her body pulsed and tingled, ready for more as she pushed away from Serena and turned onto her knees so that she could pull her into a hard kiss.

“Bedroom,” Serena managed to say between kisses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and for sticking with this fic. I’d love to know your thoughts and feelings so do hit me up with some love :) 
> 
> Love to you all! xx


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good evening everyone!
> 
> It's been awhile since I've updated this and I'm very sorry. I promise you that I have been trying to update it but I've just been so busy. Thankfully, I was on a little holiday this weekend and while I didn't get to write on holiday, I did get to write on my way home. That's the great thing about a long train ride :D
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. It's about to take a dark turn folks, just to warn you. This chapter is basically setting up what's to come. 
> 
> Not much rambling from me today. You're welcome hahah. 
> 
> Happy reading!

Chapter 13

“Can I learn to ride a bicycle?” Ellie asked as they walked toward the school.

“When you’re older,” Serena smiled at Bernie. 

“Your legs need to grow a little more,” Bernie patted Ellie’s head. 

It was a rare morning that Serena could join them for Ellie’s morning walk to school but a late night surgery had led to Raf offering to cover the morning shift alone so that she could get some extra sleep. It was a joy to have her with them. Ellie had bounced with excitement as they walked, talked endlessly about whatever came to mind.

“How long will it take?” Ellie asked her mother. Her current obsession was the brand new bicycles Serena had secured funding for. Despite her initial hesitation when Bernie had first brought up the idea, even she couldn't deny that they were a blessing!

“Judging by the hem of your school dress I’d say you’ll be tall enough very soon,” Serena replied.

It was true, Ellie was growing fast. She was shooting up so fast Serena had to have her clothes regularly altered. It wouldn't be long before she was wearing a skirt and a puff-sleeved shirt. A corset even. The thought hit Bernie hard in her chest and she was momentarily floored. She’d never wanted children but the thought of Ellie growing up, of no longer having a child in the house... 

“Are you alright?” Serena asked quietly, stepping in close to Bernie’s side. 

Bernie smiled. “Yes,” she said breathlessly. “It’s just...” she shrugged and her eyes watched Ellie run toward the school gates to meet her friends. “She’s growing up.”

“Children do that,” Serena smiled. 

“I just didn’t think it would be so soon,” Bernie laughed. “She’s only just appeared in my life and it won’t be long before she leaves.”

Serena smirked and her hand brushed past Bernie’s. Bernie wished she could take hold of it. “Miss Berenice Griselda Wolfe,” Serena teased. “I think you’re feeling broody.”

Bernie chocked. “I am not,” she shook her head. “I just enjoy spending time with her.”

“You know,” Serena lowered her voice. “There are plenty of children who could do with a roof over their head. Regular meals. A mother figure.”

Bernie frowned and stopped walking. “What are you suggesting?” She asked.

Serena stopped walking too and quickly checked they weren’t within hearing of anyone else before speaking. “We’re in a good position Bernie,” she said softly. “I’ve always wanted more children and now that I’m with someone who I trust... and love...” she smiled. “I can’t help but think about the future. And Ellie deserves siblings, don’t you think?”

Bernie stared at her, unable to properly grasp what she was saying. “You... you want... children with... me?”

Serena smiled. “Well, we can’t make one,” she laughed and Bernie found her smile infectious. “There are so many children, so many that come in and out of The Clinic, so many that we treat in the workhouses. They need a good home. They need people in their lives who will love them.” She looked so hopeful, so excited. “Why not us?” 

“This isn’t exactly keeping our relationship a secret,” Bernie said, hating the way Serena’s smile faltered. She loathed to be the one thinking sensibly, the one who had to remind them to be careful. “How do we bring up children in a world where the thing that makes us happy is a secret?”

“I know,” Serena said sadly. 

“We’re not even sure how to tell Ellie,” Bernie reminded her. “We’re not even sure if we can tell Ellie.” It hurt to see the hope leave Serena’s eyes. “It’s not that I don’t want to... I’ve never thought about having children, I didn’t really want them but spending time with Ellie... I wish things were different. I wish we could have those things.” She wanted so desperately to hold her. “But we can’t... not now.” An image of Edward Campbell appeared in Bernie's mind and she swallowed deeply. She had yet to tell Serena that Edward had been asking questions and she knew she needed to do so soon. Serena was thinking about their future while Bernie was still worrying about their past. She needed to know about the threat that faced them. 

“I know,” Serena gave a slight smile. “I do. I know that you’re right. I got a little carried away.”

Bernie watched Serena put on a brave face and her heart broke. “I love you,” Bernie whispered. “Nothing changes that.” Nothing. 

“I know,” Serena gave her a full smile and Bernie returned it. “But things can change.”

“They always do," Bernie nodded. And things would certainly change when she told her about her conversation with Marcus.

“Mummy!” Ellie waved from where she stood. “Bernie!”

With a tiny sigh of relief, Bernie followed Serena and made their way over to Ellie just as the teacher rang the bell signalling the start of school. “Have a good day,” Bernie said as she hugged the little girl and kissed her on the top of her head.

Serena knelt down to Ellie's level and kissed her cheeks. “I love you,” she said. Ellie threw her arms around her mother’s neck and hugged her tight. 

“Love you too,” she said before she turned and ran into the school.

Serena watched her run and Bernie stood behind her, watching them both. When Ellie had disappeared into the school, Serena continued to stare until Bernie placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. “I need to get going,” Bernie said.

“I know,” Serena turned to look at her. “Imagine me kissing you goodbye.”

“Best I don’t,” Bernie smirked and Serena blushed. 

“Yes well...” she cleared her throat. “I didn’t mean...”

Bernie laughed. “I know,” she grasped Serena’s hand briefly. “I’ll see you tonight.”

 

As she walked away she buried her guilt deep down in the pit of her stomach. She knew she needed to talk to Serena and the longer she left it, the harder it would be. But just like the night she returned home to Serena after the conversation with Marcus, she just couldn't bring herself to destroy the happy bubble they had made for themselves. She looked over her shoulder just before she turned the corner to see Serena waving to her. The guilt began to fester in the bottom of her stomach. 

The General was rather quiet, a quietness Bernie wasn't used to. Her patients were all doing well, her young doctors were thriving under her supervision and she was slowly gaining the trust and respect of the other surgeons. It was still hard and she still missed the familiarity of the clinic. But she had settled in somewhat, made new friends and she enjoyed spending time with Marcus and her newest trainee, Dominic Copeland. 

“Testing vaccines again?” She said as she walked into one of the many labs in the hospital. 

Dominic, Marcus, Jeffery Bowers and Brendan McCormack, just four of her students, were all working away in the lab. They looked up at her as she made her way toward them, the other trainee doctors not under her tutelage, watched with interest. It wasn't very often that the surgeons came into the labs, at least, anyone other than Bernie. 

“We’re testing some of O’Neils serums on infected blood,” Bowers offered. “I’m working on tuberculosis, Dunn too. Copeland and McCormack are testing cholera.”

“I hope you’re taking precautions,” Bernie said to Dominic and Brendan. 

“My street has had it three times,” Dominic smiled. “I haven’t caught it yet.”

“Well this could be your turn if you’re not careful,” she said to him. “Remember to clean thoroughly and change your apron when you finish.”

“Fisher and O’Neil say you’re obsessed with cleaning,” Bowers smirked. 

“Disease can be passed through blood, through touch, through air. On the battle field, more men died from lack of hygiene than the wounds they sustained. I’ve seen cholera wipe out an entire company of men.” Bernie leaned over McCormack’s shoulder to check his work. 

“Do you miss it?” He asked, leaning back so she could get a better look. “Being in the army?”

“Sometimes,” Bernie replied. “I miss the people, I miss the surgeries. The Clinic was a good fit for me after everything I did there. This...” she waved her hand at the lab. “This is not.”

“You don’t like working here?” Dominic asked.

“I work better in chaos,” she smiled. “And if there’s one thing The General doesn’t like, its chaos.” The men laughed.

“Would you ever go back?” Bowers asked. 

Bernie’s mind quickly drifted to Serena and Ellie; to the unnamed children Serena so desperately hoped their future might bring them. Their home.“No,” she smiled. “I like my life as it is right now.”

“But you’d still prefer to be back at The Clinic,” Marcus added and she laughed. 

“I certainly would,” she said to him and his eyes showed his understanding. 

“So why did you come here if you wanted to stay at The Clinic?” Brendan asked. 

“They requested her,” Dominic said. 

“I was recommended and then they requested my services,” she corrected him. 

“Well l, for one, am glad they did,” Dominic smiled at her. 

“Hear, hear.” Bowers and McCormack chimed in. 

“We’ve learned more from you since you arrived than we have the whole year under Fisher,” Marcus winked at her. 

“Keep up the flattery gentlemen,” she laughed. “It will get you everywhere.”

The men laughed as Bernie left them to their work. 

Yes, life at The General was improving but she longed to be back at The Clinic. She longed to back on the front lines of the industrial town, to be among her friends. To feel the thrill of working a long shift alongside Serena, her lover, her best friend. She smiled at the thought of Serena as she made her way back to her office. Perhaps tonight, once Ellie had been fed and was tucked in bed, she could walk down to The Clinic and offer her lover an arm to hold onto as they walked home.

Just after 10pm, Bernie stood opposite The Clinic waiting for Serena. Ellie had wanted to join her for a walk but Bernie knew that Serena would be less than pleased to see her daughter out of bed at such a late hour. She knew she had made the right decision when she walked into the little girls bedroom to say goodnight to find that she was already fast asleep. Bernie kissed her on the forehead, tucked the blanket under her chin and left her in Kate's capable hands. 

Bernie knew it was impolite not to head into the clinic to see her friends but she knew she would end up helping around the wards, meaning that not only would she work late, but so would Serena. And at that moment, Bernie was feeling a little selfish; she wanted Serena all to herself. 

She didn't have to wait too long until Serena appeared at the doorway. Still unnoticed, Bernie smiled and began to make her way toward her lover but the look on Serena's face made her pause. The other woman's eyes scanned the street, obviously looking for something, or someone, in particular because she looked in Bernie's direction a few times but didn't register who she had seen. She was nervous, that much was obvious. Fletch appeared just behind her and Serena jumped like a startled cat. Something broke in Bernie's chest and she lurched forward. 

"Serena?"

Serena's eyes shot up, there was anger there. "What are you doing here?" She demanded to know. 

Bernie paused momentarily, her eyes lifting to Fletch before looking back at Serena with confusion. "I thought... I needed some air and I was passing by... I thought you might like some company on your way home," she eventually replied. 

Serena's eyes softened and she sighed. "I'm sorry," she said quietly, before turning to look at Fletch. "I'll be fine walking home with Bernie." 

"Are you sure?" Fletch looked concerned and Bernie's worry increased. "He could be waiting..."

"It's not his style," Serena mumbled. "We'll be fine." Fletch looked reluctant but nodded. He bid them both a good night and headed back into the clinic. 

Serena set a fast pace as they headed home but Bernie had no issue keeping up with her. 

"What happened?" Bernie asked after a moment. 

"I don't want to talk about it," Serena snapped. 

Bernie sighed. She grabbed Serena's arm and pulled them both to a stop. "That doesn't concern me," she said. "What does concern me is your safety. You're worried, so was Fletch. Tell me what happened." Bernie watched Serena's eyes shimmer in the moonlight and she took a shaky breath before speaking. 

"Edward called on me," she said eventually. 

Bernie's blood ran cold. "What did he want?" 

"Me," Serena said softly. "He wanted me and Ellie to come home." 

Bernie frowned. "I don't understand..."

Serena sighed. "He said he was sorry," she said with a shrug. "He said he made a mistake, taken what he had for granted."

"You're not..." Bernie's concern increased. "You're not going back..."

"Of course not!" She snapped. "He had his chance, I won't give him a second." Serena huffed. "You don't honestly think I'd leave you..."

"You seemed..."

"Tempted?" Serena asked. Bernie nodded. "I wouldn't leave you Bernie," she said softly. "I've never been so happy. I'm not giving this up, I won't give it up for anything. I told Edward just that."

Bernie smiled and wished she could wrap her arms around her. She did it anyway. There weren't many people out on the streets at that time and the ones that were were too busy with their own thoughts to take much notice. "What did he say?" She asked, burying her nose into Serena's neck. 

"Let's go home," Serena smiled as she pulled away. "I'm hungry and I can't wait to crawl into bed with you by my side."

"You're avoiding my question," Bernie said. 

"Yes I am," Serena laughed. "I don't want to talk about Edward anymore."

But Bernie couldn't let it go. The guilt she had buried deeply just a few hours ago was beginning to rear its ugly head. 

"Is he on to us?" Bernie asked. 

"Edward doesn't have that kind of an imagination," Serena said. "Now let's go home."

Bernie allowed Serena to pull her forward and they fell back into the fast pace Serena had set. Serena seemed happy to move on and Bernie knew it would be easy to allow her, but she resisted. Perhaps now was the time to talk to her. To let her in on the secret she had been keeping. To finally let her know of the dangers. "We need to talk," Bernie said softly. 

"We've talked enough about Edward," Serena said adamantly. 

"No, we haven't," Bernie insisted. "There's something I haven't told you."

Serena stopped and turned to look at her. "What do you mean?"

"Marcus told me that Edward has been asking about me... about us..."

Serena stared at her. "And Marcus... does he... know about... this? Us?"

"Not exactly," Bernie said. "He suspects but I didn't confirm nor have I confided in him."

"But Edward suspects," the colour had drained from Serena's face. "When did he tell you this?"

"On my first afternoon at The General," Bernie admitted. She hated the betrayed look in Serena's eyes. 

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Serena asked, her anger very present in her voice. 

"I'm sorry," Bernie said quickly. "I didn't want you to worry..."

"But I would have been prepared!" Serena snapped. "I would have known that he was up to something. I would have known he would eventually make an appearance!"

"Serena please..."

"If Edward thinks we're... that we..." She glanced around, there were a couple of drunks leaning against the wall but they didn't seem to be paying them much attention. "He would be right, wouldn't he? There would be nothing to stop him from taking Ellie away or getting the courts involved. He could demand I go back to him and I would have no choice."

"That's not going to happen," Bernie insisted. "I won't allow it."

"Edward might have had his reputation bruised over the last few months but he's still a wealthy gentleman with good connections," Serena replied. "He still comes off far more favourably in the law than a woman who walked out on her husband."

"I have my own connections," Bernie replied. "I won't let him win."

"Let's hope we never need to test that statement," Serena sighed. "I wish you had told me."

"I had meant to," Bernie said truthfully. "I wanted to tell you but... we were so happy and I knew that this would... this would bring a dark cloud into our lives and I didn't want that. I didn't want that cloud hanging over you and Ellie again. Then as time went on, it became harder and harder... I'm sorry."

Serena gave a sad smile. "I know," she said, taking hold of her hand squeezing it tight. "Let's go home," she said. "We can talk about this more tomorrow."

Bernie hooked Serena's arm through her own and they continued their journey. "I do love you, Serena." She whispered. 

Serena smiled over at her. "I know," she said. "I love you too. Always will."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meep! I'm sorry in advance for what is to come. No one dies, I'm just putting that out there hahah. 
> 
> I'd love to know what your thoughts are on this chapter and thanks so much for reading! xxx


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friendships! 
> 
> Well, for those of you who follow on me tumblr, you will know that I broke my laptop. What happens when you spill even the tiniest amount of water on a computer? Yup, man down! Or laptop down! So I'm rather distraught. As you can imagine. How did I cope, I hear you ask. Well seeing as though I always hand write all my first drafts, I've just continued to do that but all the stuff I needed to type up, such as this chapter, well I did it all on my iPad. Which means, even thought I've proofed this chapter and made amends, I can't guarantee that autocorrect hasn't done something weird that I may have missed. You have no idea how many times I had to correct Bernie's name. Autocorrect seems to think that I must mean Ernie…. oooookaayy...
> 
> Anyhoo, the next chapter is here! Yey! I hope you enjoy it, despite the dark turn it takes toward the end. Warning, its all beginning to kick off! 
> 
> But before all that, here's some morning sex that I wrote on my lunch break last week. Had to take a little walk around the block afterward… here's a tip from me to you, don't write smut at work! 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who is reading and following this fic. Thank you for all your comments and messages! I love you awesome nerds.

Chapter 14

Bernie was roused from her sleep by a wandering hand. It trailed up her thigh, skimmed across her hip and slipped underneath her nightgown. Her skin tingled under the hand as it moved; her stomach fluttered, her toes curled. Bernie smiled against her pillow, one of the many things she had discovered about her lover since they embarked on their relationship, was that she enjoyed teasing her. She liked getting Bernie worked up, enjoyed the sounds she made and the impatient begging. For Bernie, the frustration she felt was now part of the process, part of the build up. She knew the longer Serena teased her, the more she was rewarded. Serena was a generous lover, an insatiable lover at time but Bernie knew she would never tire of it. 

Bernie opened her eyes slowly. “Good morning, dear,” she mumbled sleepily. 

Serena shifted closer until Bernie felt her breasts press against her back. She felt a shiver course through her body and she tilted her head back, offering Serena an opportunity to do what she loved most. 

“Good morning,” Serena hummed in her ear before she slowly trailed her tongue up Bernie’s neck, leaving a cooling wet trail behind on her heated skin. She placed a kiss on Bernie’s jaw, followed it with another one on her earlobe before tugging on it with her teeth. The hand she had under Bernie’s nightgown made the painfully slow ascent over her stomach. Bernie's breasts felt heavy with the promise of being touched, her nipples hardened and rubbed against the fabric of her gown, sending another delicious shiver through her body. 

“I have an early shift today,” Bernie said as she began to roll onto her back. Serena growled into her ear and used her body to keep Bernie on her side. Her hand grazed the undersized of one of her breasts before moving quickly to smoothly caress her bottom. 

“I know,” Serena said as she pushed one of her legs between Bernie's, pressing her thigh up against the heat between her legs. Bernie hissed. “It's very early,” she purred into her ear and began to tease her neck again with her tongue. “We have plenty of time.”

Bernie laughed into the pillow but it was quickly replaced by a groan when Serena’s hand finally cupped her breast. This was yet another example of how Serena liked to tease her; give her the pleasure she craved but deny her the freedom to touch or kiss her in return. It was the sweetest of tortures Bernie was only too happy to endure, but it didn't curb the tiny impatient sigh she gave when her attempt to kiss Serena was denied. Instead, Bernie reached an arm behind her and tangled her fingers in Serena’s hair; she pulled her head down against her neck again and Serena happily planted wet kisses over her skin. 

Bernie's breath caught in her throat when she felt Serena's hand move down her body and over her bottom again. She pushed her backside against Serena, only to feel her remove her hands. Bernie bit back another impatient sigh and was relieved when she felt Serena begin to lift her nightgown fully, allowing it to pool around her waist. Her lips continued their assault on her sensitive skin, persistent and hot, driving Bernie mad with desire. She couldn't help the groan that escaped her mouth when she felt Serena's fingers stroke through her wetness. 

“Oh Bernie,” Serena signed her pleasure as she sank her fingers into Bernie's core from behind. Bernie arched against her, her fingers tightening in her long dark hair. Serena curled her fingers in just the right way, just as Bernie liked and began to move her fingers against that sweet spot that made her toes curl. 

Bernie clenched her thighs together around Serena’s hand, putting just enough pressure on the little bundle of nerves that was begging to be touched. It was enough for Bernie to release a guttural sound from her chest. “Serena!” Her name came out with a strangled cry and she felt Serena laugh softly behind her. 

“Close?” She hummed. 

Bernie turned her face against her pillow and keened her agreement into the feathers. Serena's index finger brushed up against her clit and Bernie pushed against her hand, looking for her sweet release. 

“Please,” Bernie leaned her head back and turned just enough to look up at her lover. “Please Serena, don't tease me anymore.” At times like this, at the mercy of Serena's strong, nimble hands, Bernie was not adverse to begging. 

Serena leaned forward and captured Bernie's lips in a heated kiss. “Anything for you, my love,” she said as she increased the pressure on her clit and continued to move her fingers inside of her. 

Bernie could feel it building, the tiny twitch inside her that made her stomach flutter. She buried her face into the pillow again to muffle her moans as it continued to build. She ground unabashedly into Serena’s hand, seeking what she most desperately needed. 

When she came, Bernie’s body convulsed, throbbed as she gasped for breath. Serena's hand slowed, teasing out every last contraction and moaning with each one as if it had been she who had been pushed over the edge. 

Before she had chance to fully calm down, Bernie was up on her knees and pushing Serena back into the pillows. She had been refused the freedom to allow her hands to explore for too long and while Serena was distracted, she used it to her advantage. 

“I wasn't finished,” Serena smirked as Bernie hovered above her. 

“That's not for you to decide,” Bernie grinned as she pushed her own fingers deep into Serena’s soaking wet centre. 

Whenever Serena was in the mood to tease, by the time she was done with it, Bernie was always almost frantic with need to have her. She wondered at times, if she was too rough with her but Serena never complained, she merely matched Bernie's ferocity thrust for thrust. 

Serena's hands landed on Bernie's shoulders in a tight grip that almost painful. Bernie knew what was happening. She leaned down and kissed Serena just as her walls began to clench around Bernie's fingers so tight she could barely move them anymore.

“Bernie…” Serena sighed and kissed her. “I love you,” she wrapped her arms around her shoulders and pulled her close. 

Bernie laid down next to her and nuzzled her neck with her nose as she wrapped her arms around her. “I love you too,” she whispered. “So much.”

Serena sighed happily as she fell into a peaceful slumber. Bernie smiled and rested her head on Serena's chest, allowing the rhythmic rise and fall to calm her. 

She'd never felt so happy before, this relaxed or content. It was all because of her, this woman she held in her arms. Bernie couldn't help the silly smile that pulled at her lips as she listened to the steady beat of Serena's heart. 

She didn't have to wait too long before sleep took her too. 

-x-

Bernie walked onto the ward, her students obediently following in her wake and taking notes as she observed and commented on her patients. They were eager to answer the questions she posed to them, keen to impress in the hopes that she would give one of the patients over to them. Bernie enjoyed working with them, testing their sharp minds and encouraging them to push the boundaries of medicine. Her experience and skills were finally superseding her sex. She had the respect of not just her own students, but the students of other doctors and surgeons too. They looked past her sex, were unfazed by their similar ages, in fact she was quite a bit younger than a few of them but it didn’t matter. They saw her skills and they wanted to learn. Bernie found that with each passing day, she was more and more keen to teach them.

“Mr Bowers,” she turned to look at the tall man. “Could you present?”

“Yes, Major,” he quickly located the patient file but Bernie took note that he did not open it. He was working from memory and she smiled. “This is Mr Colin Noble, he was brought in with acute stomach pains.”

“What tests would you run?” She asked.

Just as he was about to answer, Bernie noticed a flurry of activity outside the ward. Their attentions were drawn toward two nurses who were trying to hold someone back. “I need to see her!” a familiar voice shouted. “Where is she?”

Bernie handed her notes off to Marcus and headed for the commotion. “Bernie?” He called after her but the distressed voice of Mickey Fletcher drowned out everything else around her.

“Let him go,” Bernie said, pulling Mickey out of the tight grips of the two nurses. “I know him.”

“Bernie you have to come,” he said, tears streaming down his face as he tugged on her hand.

“What happened?” Bernie asked, her hands now on his shoulders in an effort to calm him.

“They took her,” he said with a sob. “They took Mrs Campbell...”

“What do you mean they took her?” Bernie asked, her blood running cold. “Who took her?”

“Some men in a black carriage,” Mickey whimpered. “Please Bernie, please just come to The Clinic.”

Bernie quickly straightened up and turned toward her students. “Mr Bowers, see to it that Mr Noble is meticulously examined, ask a senior surgeon for help if you need it,” she said. “The rest of you, I want you to keep an eye on my patients, I don’t want to come back to find out that we’ve lost anyone.” Everyone nodded their understanding and Bernie took hold of Mickey’s hand and led him out of the ward.

“Bernie?”

“Major, wait a moment.”

It was Marcus and Dominic. “I must hurry,” she said to them as they jogged to catch up with her.

“Take my bicycle,” Dominic said. “There’s space on the back where I carry parcels to the shop, the boy can ride in tandem with you.” He ran ahead without waiting for a response, presumably to collect his bicycle.

“Promise me you’ll be careful Bernie,” Marcus whispered to her. When they got outside, she turned to face him, a little out of breath.

“Do you know something?” She asked.

“No,” Marcus said with a heavy sigh. “But this doesn’t feel right.”

Bernie turned to crouch down to Mickey’s level. “Can you go keep a look out for Dominic?” She asked him, he gave a slight smile and nodded, then ran in the direction Bernie had pointed. Once he was out of ear shot, she turned back to Marcus. “I need your help,” she said to him.

“Anything,” he replied.

“Edward Campbell visited Serena a few weeks ago at The Clinic,” she said, watching Marcus’ face as he grew even more concerned. “I need to know if he’s taken her somewhere.”

“And you want me to find out,” Marcus clarified. Bernie nodded. “I could lose my job, Bernie. Lying to him when he asks me what I know of you or if you’ve mentioned his wife is one thing but... prying into his personal matters?”

"I understand and I would never normally ask," Bernie said. "But if he has done something to Serena, if she has been taken against her will..." she paused and tried to control the anger she felt deep within her chest. "I need to know if he is responsible for this."

"You don't know if he had anything to do with it," Marcus reminded her.

"Are you telling me we should rule him out?" Bernie asked. Marcus closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Tell me you think he had nothing to do with this and I'll let the matter go."

Marcus ran a hand through his hair and nodded. "I'll see what I can find out."

Bernie let out a relieved sigh. "Thank you," she said, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "Thank you."

"Major," Dominic appeared with Mickey and the bicycle. "You should get going," he said.

Bernie thanked him and held the bicycle steady so that Mickey could climb on. She turned and looked at Marcus one last time before heading toward The Clinic.

The Clinic was in chaos when she arrived. It seemed the waiting room was bursting at the seams and apart from a few nurses, the rest of the staff were nowhere to be found.

“They’re in here,” Mickey pulled on her hand and led her into the offices she once shared with Serena and Raf. Her heart dropped into her stomach when she thought about her lover but she pushed it to one side, this wasn't going to help anyone. 

Everyone was inside the offices. Morven was visibly shaken, Fletch looked angry and Raf looked confused. Their eyes turned toward her as soon as she entered the room, the relief she saw in their faces pulled in her chest.

“What happened?” She asked as she tried to keep her emotions in check, she needed to keep calm for their sakes. 

“We don’t really know,” Raf admitted. “We were on the ward when we heard shouting out in the waiting room...”

“I thought we had another drunk,” Fletch added. “So I ran out to give Serena a hand but... there were two men, said they had a court summons and she was required to stand before the magistrates.”

“What on earth for?” Bernie asked, feeling more confused than she had all day. None of it seemed to make any sense.

“They didn’t say,” Morven said quietly. “They wouldn’t tell us anything... they just took her.” Fletch moved over to Morven and wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders.

“She told us to find you,” Fletch said. “We didn’t know what else to do.”

Bernie nodded and gave him a reassuring smile. “You did the right thing,” she said to them all. “I will take a carriage to the courts but while I’m there, I need you all to keep working.” They looked at her with confused expressions. “I know,” she said with sympathy. “But there are sick people here who need your help. You are, first and foremost, healers.”

“But Serena...” Raf began but Bernie interrupted him.

“Serena has put her soul into this clinic,” she said to them, ignoring the nauseous feeling that swept over her. “She needs you to keep it running; don’t let her down.”

“Of course,” Morven said as she wiped at the tears on her face.

“We’ll keep it running,” Raf agreed, his eyes meeting Bernie’s in understanding for a moment before he headed into the waiting room with Morven. 

Just before Fletch and Mickey could leave, Bernie caught his arm to speak to him. “I’m going to try to find Serena but... Elinor is still at school...”

“I’ll pick her up,” Fletch reassured her.

“Please don’t tell her about Serena...”

“No,” he nodded. “It should come from you... or maybe she won’t need to know at all.” Bernie didn’t want to really think about it. “Listen, she can come home with me and the kids. I’ll take care of her until you and Serena can collect her.”

Fletch spoke with such conviction and as Bernie waited outside for a carriage, she wished she had the same confidence. But try as she might, she just couldn’t find it within her. For some reason, there was a heavy weight in her stomach and she couldn’t shake the feeling of dread that was spreading through her heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know. I’m a bitch aren’t I? I'm sorry! 
> 
> I hope you liked this latest chapter and please do let me know what you think in the comments. I love hearing your thoughts. Love to you all! xxx


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friends! Oh wait… are we still friends after the last chapter? :P I know I broke a few of you and that some people are little unhappy with the turn of events but lets be honest, I did warn people but never fear, Bernie and Serena will get their happy ending. And cause I’ve had a few people asking, I just want to say again, neither Bernie nor Serena will die. Trust me peeps! I’m all for Bernie and Serena being happy. We just gotta get through some shit first.
> 
> Anyhoo, my computer is still holed below the waterline and going down fast. Which means, I’m still on my ipad and still fighting with it over the correct spelling of Bernie. You’d think, after the amount of times I’ve written Bernie in this chapter alone, that autocorrect would have learned it by now. But nope. It’s extremely vexing! 
> 
> So in this chapter, things are still a bit shit but there are moments in here which I hope you like. Especially the introduction of a new very familiar character at the end… also, Bernie is a bit badass and who doesn't want Bernie being a Victorian badass? 
> 
> I hope you continue to enjoy this fic and thank you so much to everyone who left me a review or sent me a comment. I adore you all!
> 
> Oh and a special thank you to the other half who is not only moving house and selling a house but doing it with broken ribs and a rather needy girlfriend who keeps asking her to read her fic drafts and see what the word count is as she can’t do it on her ipad… love ya babe :) Now I've got this chapter up, I promise to leave you alone… at least for a few days anyway until I need you to do the same again! Haha. 
> 
> xxx

Chapter 15

The carriage hadn’t even stopped in front of her when a voice called out her name. Bernie looked over the crowd to see Marcus running toward her. “Do you have news?” She asked, stealing herself against the bad news she felt was inevitable.

“Get in the carriage,” he said, opening the door and helping her inside.

“Marcus, please tell me what you know.” Her voice quivered with emotion.

“I have no news on where Mrs Campbell is,” he started. “I am afraid to say that Edward Campbell is behind this.”

“How do you know?” She asked.

“Because when he walked onto the ward today, he had his daughter with him.”

Bernie’s heart froze. Ellie. She felt her emotions beginning to overwhelm her but she pushed them back down, she knew they wouldn’t help her. “Serena is at the court house,” she said, taking a few deep breaths to clear her mind. “Did Edward say what he was doing with Elinor?”

“No,” Marcus said. “But he had a bag with them.”

“Dear lord,” Bernie brushed a hand through her hair. “He’s taking her somewhere.”

“What do you need me to do?” Marcus asked, he must have seen how distressed she felt.

“You’ve done enough,” Bernie said to him kindly. “Thank you for your help but I don’t want to get into trouble for...”

“I’m here,” he said. “You know... you know how I feel about you Bernie. And I know you will never feel the same for me, that Serena is important to you... but I’m here for you and I want to help. Let me help.”

Bernie felt the first tear slip down her cheek and she hastily swiped it away. “You’re a good friend,” she said to him. “Thank you.”

He gave her a small smile. “Now tell me what to do.”

Bernie sent Marcus to the Court House to find out what Serena had been taken in for and when she would be appearing before the Magistrates. She gave him the bank book she had taken from Serena’s desk and had signed a few of the sheets with instructions to pull on her reserves to bail her out if needed. Meanwhile, Bernie travelled to The General.

The carriage had barely come to a stop but Bernie had already jumped out, stumbling on her feet as she ran into the hospital. Edward had been confined to his office and research laboratory ever since the board had benched him, so Bernie knew exactly where to find him. She had to walk through the wards to get there and she noticed the students stop what they were doing and turn to look at her. Dominic dropped the patient file he held and ran after her. 

"Major Wolfe?" 

"Not now, Mr Copeland," she said over her shoulder as she entered the corridor that led to Edward's office. 

"She's not here," he called after her. Bernie stopped and turned to look at him. "Marcus told me what's happening..." He looked at her apologetically. "Someone saw Doctor Campbell putting a little girl in a carriage just five minutes ago."

Bernie felt sick. On her way here, they had passed a carriage leaving the hospital, could that have been her? "No," she whispered, pushing her hands through her hair in frustration. "Do you know where it went?" Dominic shook his head. 

Bernie looked down the corridor toward Edward's office. She took a deep breath and strode toward the front door. 

"Major," Dominic ran after her but Bernie ignored him. The door to the office was unlocked and she pushed it open with force; Edward was reading at his desk.

"Miss Wolfe," he didn't even bother to look up. "What a surprise."

Bernie scoffed. "You knew I'd come here," she said as she towered over his desk and looked down at him.

Edward leaned back in his chair and looked up at her, a smug smile pulled at his lips. "I admit that I had hoped you would," he looked her up and down. "No doubt Serena told you I offered to take her back?"

"Offered?" She barked a laugh. "You had to know she would never come back to you."

"I can be very persuasive when I need to be,” he gave her a sickly smile. “My offer was simple, come back to me or…” he leaned forward over his desk. “Or lose everything.”

“What have you done with Ellie?” Bernie asked, trying to keep her voice level. 

“She’ll be waiting for her train to Edinburgh. Perhaps may even be on her way to her new life already,” Edward said with indifference. “Boarding school will straighten her out. Who knows what damage the two of you have done to her. She’ll be allowed to leave when she turns 18 under the condition that she marries a man of my choosing…”

“You condemn her to such a life?” Bernie was shaking with anger. “I won’t allow you to trap her in a life where she will only have misery and obedience to look forward to. If Ellie decides to marry, she will do it for love and no other reason.”

“You have no authority here,” Edward’s eyes darkened dangerously but Bernie didn’t back down.

“I might not, but Serena does and if you honestly think that she will…” Bernie stopped talking when Edward began to laugh.

“My poor, dear wife.” He stood up from his chair and moved to stand in front of her. She felt Dominic move closer to her too, prepared to step in should he need to. “You won’t see Serena again.” Bernie’s heart plummeted as Edward checked his watch. “I assume the reason you’re here is because you were told she was being taken to the Courts,” he smirked. “I paid the hospital extra to lie to her colleagues and by the time you get there, I imagine she’ll be settled into her new home.”

“Hospital?” Bernie felt light headed but her anger still boiled in her veins. 

“As a loving husband, I couldn’t stand by and watch my wife suffer with such a severe case of Hysteria now, could I?” His eyes flashed with a perverted joy.

“You… you had her incarcerated?” Bernie couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She thought about the hospital in Holby that treated Hysteria, it was an asylum. She had sent Marcus to the wrong place.

“It was for her own good and the courts agreed with me,” Edward said. He took a moment before he leaned down and closed in on her. His voice was low, a whisper really. “This is your doing. You are nothing but a whore.”

Bernie’s hand collided with Edward’s chin with a resounding crack and she felt Dominic wrap his arms around her waist and begin to pull her away from him. The reason for it was the fire n Edward’s eyes and she knew, had Dominic not pulled her out of his reach, that Edward would not have held back his anger. Bernie was tough, had spent years in the army becoming so, but she wouldn’t have lasted Edward’s wrath for long had he beat down on her with his fists. 

“You will burn in hell for this!” Bernie shouted at him. Dominic kept a tight hold on her and guided her into the hallway.

“You are making a fool of yourself, Ms Wolfe,” Edward followed them out of the room. “What has been done cannot be reversed.”

“Just watch me,” Bernie spat back. “I will make it my life’s work to make sure you are beat down to nothing! Edward Campbell will be nothing, you will have nothing, you will die as nothing!”

“What is going on here?” It was Mr Fisher. “Major Wolfe, if you do not get your emotions under control, I will have you escorted from the building.” 

“Don’t bother,” Bernie snapped. “I wouldn’t wish to spend another minute in a hospital where they employ a man who gets rid of his wife because she had the audacity to stand up to his abuse. A man who claims to care for the many, is in truth, so pathetic and insecure that he sent his wife to a mental hospital and had his daughter shipped off to a boarding school! The man who stands before you isn’t worth the dirt on the bottom of my shoe!” She spat at him, loosened Dominic’s grip on her and strode out of the building, leaving a group of bewildered men in her wake.

After she left the hospital, Bernie had done the only thing she could think of. She had gone to the train station. 

The train to Edinburgh was on its final call. The steam from the front of the train signalled it was ready to go at any minute. “Ellie!” She ran along the platform, stopping briefly at each carriage to see if she could see her through the window. “Elinor Campbell?!” The train conductor blew his whistle, signalling the train was ready to leave. Bernie ignored the panic that was eating away at her stomach and continued her search. “Elinor! Elinor Campbell!”

‘Bernie!” 

The familiar voice was music to her ears. “Ellie?” She looked along the carriages to find where the voice came from. The whistle blew again and this time, it was followed by the sound of the breaks releasing. “Ellie!”

“I’m here!” Her tiny arm slid out of the window to the door of the next carriage; it was too high for her too look out. Bernie ran toward it and pulled at the door. It was locked. “Get me out!” 

The train began to move. “No!” Bernie climbed onto the steps and put all her weight on the window, pushing it down as far as it would go. The train was still moving slowly, but she knew it wouldn’t be long before it picked up speed.

“I don’t want to go, Bernie!” Ellie cried as Bernie got her first look at the little girl. 

“You’re not going anywhere,” Bernie said. “I need you to wrap your arms around my neck,” she said and Ellie did as she was told. “Keep tight hold.” 

Bernie could feel the train picking up speed and she knew if she didn’t get Ellie out now, she would have to let go. She tightened her arms around Ellie’s small frame and lifted her out of the window. The sway of the train and the extra weight caused Bernie to stumble on the step and they fell backwards, onto the platform. Bernie kept her arms around Ellie, shielding her from the hard surface and took the brunt of the impact. She felt the wind leave her lungs and she tried to steady her breathing, to control it while she comforted a wailing Ellie. 

“I’ve… got… you,” Bernie said through deep breaths. “You’re… safe…”

-x-

The asylum in Holby was the place no one wanted to go. It was for the lost, for those who had no hope, for those who no longer knew who they were. It was Hell for the living. For most, the only way out was in a wooden coffin. They were the lucky ones.

Bernie was shown along the ward, her doctors bag in one hand. Inmates littered the corridors, crumpled in heaps on the floor or clung to the walls as if they were hugging someone they once knew. The stench was unbearable. It coated the inside of her nose and it left a strange taste on her tongue. She wanted to rinse out her mouth, pull off her clothes and scrub at her skin. It was dire and the reality of it cut deep into her heart. 

She had been trying to find a way to gain entry to the asylum ever since she got Ellie home, safe and sound. Marcus had eventually located her and sorrowfully told her that he had been unable to find Serena. Bernie had hugged him and began to fill him in on what she knew. 

It had been Marcus who had come up with the idea. He knew the nurses from The General would visit the asylum to treat patients once a month, just as The Clinic had been allowed access to the workhouses. Taking the role of a doctor, Marcus had sent word to the Home for Wayward Souls and informed them that a Nurse Lister would be sent the very next day to check any new residents. If her report was unsatisfactory, the nurse would need to visit again. 

“This one was brought in yesterday, Nurse Lister,” the guard said as he opened another door to a long corridor. He had been ordered by the Warden to see that all requests were met so he took Bernie around the wards to see the new patients. It was clear he did not want her here. “Shes been listed as dangerous so I’ll stay with you until…”

“No thank you,” Bernie said quickly. “I need my patients to cooperate with me, if they think I have an affiliation with the guards, they won’t be so inclined.”

The guard looked skeptical. "I think it would be best I kept a close eye on..."

"Really, I would prefer it if you didn't," she said. “You may stay at the end of the corridor and if I need your assistance, I will call for you.”

The man looked hesitant but he nodded after a few moments. Bernie knew that he was concerned she would write up a bad report, that she would have to come back or even worse, that they would be investigated by the Medical Governance. “She’s in the end cell,” he said finally. “You have 15 minutes.” 

Bernie watched him walk back the way they had come and once he was on the other side of the door, she turned on her heel and practically ran toward the end cell. So far, she had seen three men and one woman, four of the five they said had been brought in. It was odd to hope that this last woman would be Serena. Despite the dreadful conditions, despite the smell and the other inmates, she hoped to God she was in the last cell. If she was unable to find Serena in this asylum, there was no telling where Edward had sent her. 

As she walked past the other cells, Bernie was treated to views of the insane. They barked at her, tried to grab her through the small windows, one man began banging against his cell door and making obscene noises. She wanted to cry, not for the way they reacted to her, but because there was nothing she could do for them. They were bound to this life, this isolation. 

She reached the last door of the corridor and stopped in front of it. She paused, her eyes focused on her feet while she took a steadying breath. She stepped up to the door and looked through the window. 

…

“Serena…” 

‘Bernie?”

Bernie flung the blot off the door and ran inside. She skidded onto her knees in front of the woman she had been searching for. 

“Is it really you?” Serena asked, pulling herself up from where she had been balled up on the floor. 

“I’m here,” she said, giving her a slight smile. Bernie’s heart clenched painfully in her chest. Serena looked bewildered, confused at what she was seeing. She wore a plain grey dress and Bernie felt her stomach roll at the thought of what poor soul had last worn it. Serena’s hair was loose around her shoulders, there knots and clumps in it… it was something she often saw on the beaten children in workhouses. Her blood boiled at the thought of anyone mistreating Serena. “I’m here.”

“He… Edward…” tears began to fall across her cheeks. 

“I know,” Bernie touched her cheek, watched Serena’s eyes close at the contact and lean into the touch. 

“He said… he was going to send Ellie away…” Serena sobbed.

“Well he didn’t,” Bernie smiled. “I have her,” she pulled Serena into her chest and held her. “She’s safe.”

“Oh Bernie…” Serena’s arms wrapped around her waist. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Guilt suddenly replaced the anger and it settled in Bernie’s stomach. “You wouldn’t be here for starters,” she said into her hair. 

Serena sat up abruptly, her eyes aflame. “Don’t do that.”

“This is all my fault,” her voice cracked and her eyes filled with tears. 

“You could not have known things would turn out like this,” she said, her hands cupping Bernie’s cheeks.

“You are in this… Hell, because of me,” Bernie felt everything she had been holding in threatening to spill out. Everything she had pushed aside while she ran from one place to another trying to hold together what they had. Her anger, her resentment, her guilt, her despair… it was all coming out. 

“Listen to me,” Serena said. Bernie’s breath caught in her throat and she tried to turn away but Serena kept her in place. Their eyes locked together. “You are the most… fantastic, fearless person I know,” Serena smiled slightly, her eyes full of unshed tears. “I trust you, Berenice Wolfe,” she brushed Bernie’s tears away with her thumbs and kissed her on the forehead. “I know you will get me out of here.”

“I will,” Bernie said as she leaned her forehead against Serena’s. “And I will not stop until the three of us are together again. I promise.”

Serena smiled and titled her head to kiss Bernie. “I love you,” she whispered against her lips. 

In the distance, Bernie heard the scrape of the door at the end of the corridor. Their time was up. “I love you too,” Bernie whispered, kissing her one last time. “I have to go,” she said reluctantly.

Serena closed her eyes, her tears streaming down her face. She nodded bravely and gripped Bernie’s hand. “Please come back,” she said softly. 

“I’ll be back as soon as I can,” Bernie squeezed her fingers; neither wanted to let go. 

Footsteps grew nearer and Bernie hastily pulled her hand out of Serena’s grip and fled the room, unable to look back for fear that she would not be able to leave. It would do neither of them any good if she were caught in the lie they had created. 

“Time’s up,” the guard said when Bernie closed the door behind her. She couldn’t be the one to replace the bolt on the door.

“I’m finished,” she said, stepping away. The guard immediately bolted the door and began to lead the way out. Bernie hesitated outside the cell for a moment, she didn’t know if she could pull herself away from it. 

“Go,” Serena’s voice whispered through the window. 

Bernie bit back a sob and took a deep breath. With a heavy heart, she followed the guard who was already waiting for her at the end of the corridor. 

“Come on, Nurse Lister,” he barked. “I don’t have all day.”

“Then I’ll just have to come back another day,” Bernie said to him in a voice she had learned during her army days when dealing with young soldiers. “Perhaps you will be more accommodating.”

The guard’s face fell. “Of course, miss,” he said, putting on a fake smile. “If you follow me, I’ll show you out.”

“I wouldn’t trust him if I were you,” an alert voice said behind them. Bernie turned around to see a young man watching her. He was perhaps 18 or 19, tall with dark curly hair. His ragged, dirty clothes told Bernie that he was an inmate too but what set him apart from the others, was his alert eyes and calm demeanour. “He is not a nice man.”

“Oi!” The guard grabbed his baton from his belt and banged it against a nearby cell, making all the inmates flinch. The young man that had spoken to Bernie took a step back as the guard advanced on him. “You better watch your mouth boy or you’ll end up in isolation again.”

“I’m only telling the truth,” he said as he stepped up against the wall. He covered his ears with his hands and Bernie could see he was in distress as he stared down at the ground. There was a nasty cut on the back of his hand. 

“Leave him alone,” Bernie said as she stepped between them. “He hasn’t done anything wrong.”

“He’s harming my good name,” the guard said in outrage.

“He’s just a boy,” Bernie snapped. “And that cut looks infected, I should take a look at it. Does the patient have a room?”

The guard shrugged and Bernie rolled her eyes.

“You’re not in trouble,” Bernie turned to the young man and crouched slightly to get in his sight line. “Will you let me help you?” She asked. 

The young man lifted his head but he kept his hands over his ears. “Do you know how to play cards?” He asked, a frown creasing his brow. Bernie smiled at him.

“I love cards,” she said. “But let’s take a look at that hand first.”

The young man took her back to his room, if it could be called a room. He had created a space for himself in the corner of a corridor not far from the isolation wing where Serena was. “Are you a doctor?” He asked as he settled down on a pile of rags he must sleep in. 

“Yes,” Bernie said as she rooted through her bag for what she needed to treat his wound. “But it’s a secret,” she smiled at him. 

“I’m good at keeping secrets,” he said with a proud nod. “Everyone here thinks I’m insane,” he said matter of factly. “But I’m not. I have a very high intelligence and I know that you came here looking for someone.”

Bernie’s eyes snapped up to meet his. “I’m sorry?”

“I’ve been watching you,” he said. “You were looking for someone, weren’t you?”

Bernie looked over her shoulder and was glad to see that the guard had kept his distance. She lowered her voice. “You’re very perceptive.”

“Is it a friend?” He asked as Bernie began to treat his wound. 

“A very dear friend,” Bernie said sadly.

“I can be her friend too,” he offered and Bernie smiled at him. “I like making new friends.”

“I think she’d like that,” Bernie said, thinking that Serena would like this young man if she ever got the chance to meet him. “Her name is Serena and my name is Bernie, but that a secret too.”

The young man smiled. “My name is Jason.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JASON!!!! I couldn’t help myself. I hope you're all as happy as I am to have him here. I need to get my Jason and Bernie fix somehow, this seemed appropriate. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this. Please let me know what you’re thinking - any comments or feedback is appreciated! Enjoy your weekends xxx


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello peeps! So I know it’s been a while since I updated but last week was a busy one and I spent it with my family and girlfriend (their first meeting! It went terrifically well and now I think they’re more excited about seeing her again than me. Rude! :P) and I turned 30. Goodbye 20’s! You were fun!
> 
> Anyhoo, new chapter! Yey. I’ve been writing this for what seems like an eternity. I’ve had one section burning a hole in my note pad while I pondered if I should include it or not and if people would be interested. Then I figured, why not? Let’s fuck this pig. So I did. Not literally but... nevermind...
> 
> *crickets can be heard in the silence*
> 
> Moving on! I hope you enjoy this. There’s not a lot of Serena, for which I apologise however there is a scene from her POV – that’s new! I hope this makes up for the lack of Serena/Berena action. Mainly I did it cause I couldn’t help myself!
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has been following and leaving comments. I’m so glad you’re all still enjoying this and I hope you like this chapter. I’d love to know your thoughts.
> 
> Love you all lots! xxx

Chapter 16

Bernie awoke in the dark, not entirely sure what had disturbed her sleep until she felt a tiny hand on her hip that made her jump. “Ellie?” She scrambled to a sitting position and snatched the matches from her bedside table to light a candle. Elinor stood in her nightgown, the brown haired doll Kate had given her for Christmas clutched to her chest.

“I miss mummy…” Ellie’s bottom lip quivered.

“Oh Ellie,” Bernie shuffled up to sit with her back against the headboard and held her arms open. Ellie quickly hopped up onto the bed and snuggled up against Bernie’s side. Bernie pulled the blankets up around them and wrapped her arms around the child. “I miss her too.” She kissed the top of her head and sighed. Sleeping without Serena by her side had been difficult, she hadn’t realised just how much she had come to rely on the familiar warmth of her lover until she was no longer there. There had been many sleepless nights, countless nightmares that startled her awake with tears streaming down her face. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had a full night’s sleep but she suspected it was the evening before Serena was taken away from them.

“Where is she?” Ellie asked with a little sniffle.

Bernie sighed. “She’s in hospital,” she said, trying to be as honest as possible without scaring her. “They think she’s poorly, but she’s not.”

“Will she come home?” Ellie asked, tilting her head to look up at Bernie.

Bernie had been asking herself that every day, in fact it felt like she was asking every minute of every day. The truth was, she had no idea. She was doing her best to get her back, they all were. Hanssen had appealed to the board of the asylum, had even got support of wealthy donors to hire legal aid in an attempt to get her out. Their little family at The Clinic continued to work hard with their patients, keeping the place ticking over when they were on shift. As soon as they were off duty, they arrived at Bernie’s home, baked goods and fresh food in hand, ready to help in any way that they could. Even Marcus and Dominic had been running interference at The General, keeping Edward from finding his way to her and Elinor, passing on any information that could be useful to her or Serena. She was touched by the support and the love from her colleagues… her friends. All of them were friends; probably more like family. Even Sasha and Essie, who were more than happy to help out with Elinor whenever Bernie needed the extra help. Sasha had even taken over Ellie’s schooling, determined not to let her fall behind her classmates after Bernie removed her from school for fear Edward might come for her again. They were all supporting her, allowing Bernie the freedom to chase leads and find a way to get Serena out. She knew there must be a way.

“She will,” Bernie smiled down at Ellie. “She’ll come home because I’m going to make sure she comes home.”

“I love her,” Ellie said as she tightened her hold on her doll.

Bernie closed her eyes for a moment and took a breath. “Me too…” she whispered.

There was a small pause before Ellie shifted and wrapped her arms around Bernie’s waist. “I know,” she said. “She loves you too.”

Bernie’s stomach flipped at Ellie’s words but she didn’t know how to respond. Had their efforts to keep their feelings hidden somehow failed? Elinor Campbell was an observant child, she was very intelligent but they had always been careful and Serena had continued on insisting that she return to Ellie’s bed before she woke. They kept contact to a minimum, had rarely expressed any affection outside the safety of the bedroom. Had Elinor seen something, heard something she shouldn’t have? Had they not been as careful as they had hoped? Bernie felt her stomach fill with butterflies because she knew, had seen it on other couples, that love was hard to keep a secret when it ran true and deep. She wondered if she should talk to Ellie, explain what was between her and Serena, somehow make her understand... but this wasn’t her place. As much as she cared for Ellie, this kind of conversation should come from her mother. Instead she placed a kiss on the child’s forehead. “Your mother has a big heart,” she said softly and before Ellie could say anything else, she continued. “We’ve still got a few hours until morning, try to get some sleep.”

“Can I stay here?” Ellie asked.

Bernie smiled down at her. “Of course you can,” she said. She let go of Ellie and turned to blow out the candle while the little girl settled down against the pillow. When Bernie laid back down against her own pillow, she wrapped her arm around Ellie and held her. “Goodnight night, Ellie,” Bernie whispered.

Ellie gave a sleepy ‘night’ in return and Bernie knew the little girl was already half asleep. “My pillow smells like her...” Ellie mumbled before her breathing become shallow and even. 

Bernie stared into the darkness, sleep alluded her.

A few hours later, when sun light eventually filtered into the bedroom, Bernie slid from the bed and made her way toward the kitchen. Kate was already awake, she had just started cooking breakfast and had already set up a small fire in the fireplace by the kitchen table. 

“You’re up early,” Kate observed when Bernie turned a chair toward the fire and sat down. She pulled her dressing gown around her body and tucked her legs up, she rested her head on her knees and turned to look at Kate.

“Couldn’t sleep,” she said.

“What’s on the agenda today?” Kate asked as she took Bernie a cup of coffee just the way she liked it. 

“I have a meeting with Marcus, he’s writing to the asylum again to grant me entry.”

“Is it wise?” Kate asked tentatively. “I’m worried about your safety.”

“She’s in there because of me, Kate,” Bernie sighed. “I will do everything I can to get her out.”

Kate’s face grew concerned and she marched over to where she sat. “And what if you end up in there? Who will work this hard to get you out?”

“That’s what I have you for my dear,” Bernie took Kate’s hand and pressed it against her cheek. 

“I’m nothing but a maid,” Kate said angrily. “If a gentlewoman can’t get through the doors of the asylum without a doctor’s note, how do you expect me to?”

"Nothing will happen to me," Bernie said as she let go of Kate's hand. “Edward can't have two women locked up, he'd be put under scrutiny and what he's actually after is to repair the damage done to his reputation."

"He can have someone else put you away," Kate bit back. "In case it escaped your notice, miss, you're not exactly a normal gentleman's daughter are you?" Bernie was taken aback and she looked at Kate, who seemed to remember that she may be talking to a friend but she was also talking to an employer. "Peg your pardon, miss," she said quickly. "You know what I mean."

Bernie laughed then stood up and made her way toward Kate. She wrapped her friend in a hug and kisses her cheek. "I do," she said to her. "But I'll be fine."

Kate didn't look convinced but she made her way back to the ovens to continue with breakfast anyway. "Have you found a way of getting her out yet?" She asked over her shoulder. 

Bernie sat back down but this time she was at the table, facing Kate. "I need to find a way to discredit him," she said. 

"Discredit who?" Kate asked. 

"Edward Campbell," Bernie said. Kate narrowed her eyes at her and Bernie nodded. "I know," she said, knowing that she was playing with fire. "But it's the only way to get her out of there and to make sure he never harms Serena or Elinor again."

"How do you do that then?" Kate placed some toast in front of Bernie and folded her arms over her chest while she waited for an answer. 

"I need to know if he's hiding something," Bernie said. "I need to know what people are saying about him behind his back."

Kate frowned. "How do you..." she paused and Bernie watched the moment the penny dropped in Kate's mind. "Ah."

"There's only one woman I know who will have all the latest society gossip," Bernie said with a heavy sigh. 

Bernie stood on the steps looking up at the large house she grew up in. It was odd really, to be back there after such a long time. She hadn’t stepped foot inside since her mother had demanded she leave. So much had happened since then but her mother still hadn’t reached out to her. It saddened her, troubled her more than she would ever admit to. She took a deep breath, steeling her nerves, and rang the doorbell.

A young, mousy looking girl opened the door timidly. “Not in’erested in wot you got fer sale.” She tried to close the door but Bernie stopped her by pushing her foot against it.

“I’m not selling anything,” she said to the girl. “I’m Berenice Wolfe, this is my parents house.”

“Mrs Wolfe ain’t got a daugh’er,” the girl narrowed her eyes.

Her words cut deep. “Despite what my mother might wish was true, I’m afraid it’s not.” The girl didn’t look convinced. “Could I see Mrs Jones? She’ll vouch for my identity.”

“Wait ‘ere,” the girl slammed the door in her face.

Bernie let out a breath, her heart felt heavy in her chest. As much as she hated to admit it, she needed her mother’s help. She had hoped, with the time that had passed, that she would have been able to forgive her for the wrong she felt she had done. Wishful thinking.

The door opened and Bernie was wrapped in big hug. “Miss Bernie!” Mrs Jones’ hearty laugh lifted Bernie’s spirits somewhat as she returned her hug. “Oh it’s good ter see yer girl.”

“It’s wonderful to see you too, Mrs Jones,” Bernie said as she was ushered her into the house by the cook. “Although I was almost of the belief that I would be left out on the doorstep until my father returned home.”

“Don’t mind Heather,” Mrs Jones rolled her eyes. “She’s keen, that one.” Bernie laughed but there must have been something in her eyes, something that signalled to Mrs Jones that all was not well. “Somethin’ troubles you.”

Bernie sighed and nodded solemnly. “I need to speak to my mother.”

Mrs Jones nodded in understanding. “’bout your friend, isn’t it?” She asked. Bernie was taken by surprise. “I overheard one of your mother’s friends talkin’ ‘bout it. One of them society types.”

“What did she say?” Bernie asked.

“Apparently he had ‘er committed… that true?”

Bernie nodded and she licked at her lips, trying to stop the tears that threatened to spill over her lashes. “Y…yes…”

“Speak to yer mother,” Mrs Jones led her toward the little sitting room where her mother always took her late morning tea. “She knows things, don’t let ‘er tell you otherwise.” She opened the door and pushed her in. Whether she was ready or not, Bernie was now face to face with her mother.

Margaret Wolfe froze, her tea cup halfway to her mouth.

“Hello, mother,” Bernie attempted a friendly smile but she knew she would see right through it. “I know you don’t want me here,” she began as her mother put her tea cup down on the tea tray. “But… I need you help.”

“My help?” Margaret scoffed. “It’s been months, months and you never… you’ve never been to visit!”

Bernie’s mouth fell open, completely dumbstruck. “I bed your pardon?”

“I am your mother,” Margaret huffed. “You should have come here sooner to apologise.”

“Apologise?!” Bernie could feel her temper getting the better of her. “I have nothing to apologise for! I helped a friend and her daughter, got them away from an abusive man who…”

“You’re talking about that Campbell family, aren’t you?” Margaret asked.

“You know damn well who I’m talking about,” Bernie snapped.

Margaret grimaced. “Please Berenice, I know you’re upset but is there really the need for such language?”

Bernie let out a frustrated growl. “Edward Campbell has had his wife committed,” Bernie chose to ignore what her mother had said. “I know you know.”

“I may have heard something,” Margaret said demurely. “But whatever happens between a man and his wife is their business, you should not be getting involved.”

“But I am involved,” Bernie pushed back. She wasn’t allowing her mother to hide behind the ‘rules’. “I was involved the moment I saw Edward threaten his wife and child. I will not stand aside and watch them be treated in such a manner.”

Margaret was quiet for a moment, her eyes narrowing as she considered her. “Is it true?” She asked after a moment. Despite Bernie’s confusion at the question, she couldn’t help but notice that some of the usual bite had gone from her mother’s voice. “Is it true what Doctor Campbell has said about his wife?” Bernie’s stomach clenched with nerves. “That she… likes her own sex?”

“That is… I’m not…” This wasn’t at all what Bernie expected from her mother.

“He said… she has a lover.”

Bernie felt sick. “Mother…”

“So it is true,” she folded her arms over her chest. “You and Mrs Campbell.”

“Mother… please…” Bernie’s tears began to fall. “Despite… despite what you may be thinking, despite what your feelings may be toward… me… Serena needs help. I need help.”

“I don’t know what you expect me to do,” Margaret turned to her tea and busied herself with putting more hot water in her tea cup.

A feeling of hopelessness overwhelmed Bernie and before she could stop herself, she was on her knees in front of her mother. “Please,” she grabbed her mother’s hands and waited for her to look at her. “I will beg for your help… I am begging for your help. I am here,” a sob wracked her body and she looked down at their hands. “I am asking you to help me.”

“And why should I?” Margaret asked.

Bernie tried to organise all the reasons in her mind but the thoughts kept slipping through her fingers, turning into whispers that left no real impression to turn into words. There was only one thing that was clear to her, one thing that was leaving her mouth before she could stop it. “Because I love her…”

Margaret stared at her, there was a look in her eyes that Bernie had never seen before. It wasn’t anger or disappointment, it wasn’t pity or disgust… it looked as if, it almost looked like compassion. “You love her.”

“With all my heart,” Bernie sobbed. “She is my heart… Serena and Elinor are… they are everything to me and… they are suffering because of me. They have been torn apart because I interfered but all I wanted to do was keep them safe.” She closed her eyes and rested her head on her mother’s knee, unable to look at her anymore. “And we had to ruin it all by falling in love…” Bernie stopped talking when she felt her mother’s hand stroking her hair. She was making hushing sounds, soothing, calming sounds that took Bernie back to her very early childhood.

“You have certainly made life more difficult for the three of you,” she said softly, her fingers combing through Bernie’s short waves. “I can’t… condone such a relationship Bernie, you know that.” Bernie nodded and turned her head to rest her temple against her mother’s knee. Margaret stroked Bernie’s cheek with the back of her fingers. “But… I do want you to know, that I’ve only ever wanted the best for you.”

Bernie looked up at her and smiled through her tears. “I know that,” she said. “But what is best for me, is to allow me to live the life that I want… not what your friends think a daughter should want.”

Margaret sighed and patted Bernie’s hands before she let go. She turned back to her tea and Bernie could almost see the walls being built up around her. She quickly wiped at the tears on her face. "Edward Campbell may be leaving Holby for good.”

Bernie frowned. “Really? Everything he has done here, he seems to be trying to repair his name, regain his standing…”

“Well, from what I’ve heard from those women you despise so much,” Margaret gave her a pointed stare and Bernie rolled her eyes. “Doctor Campbell’s job is threatened, not because of what happened with his family, though it certainly hurt his standing, but rather due to the wife and child he abandoned 15 years ago.”

Bernie stared at her mother. “He... he was married previously?”

“His first wife came from a wealthy family, her dowry was five thousand pounds once they were married,” Margaret sipped from her tea cup, a small grin on her lips. “Doctor Campbell lost it all, gambled and drank his way through it, left them destitute.”

“And rather than face up to what he did, he divorced her and married the daughter of another wealthy man,” Bernie shook her head. “Why doesn’t it surprise me that he took the easy way out?”

“He’s already on the brink of ruin,” Margaret said. “Imagine what would happen should the courts be told that he was not only already married, but that he had falsely bound another woman to him for her money,” Margaret’s eyes were positively gleaming. “And had her incarcerated before fleeing the city to save his own hide.”

It took Bernie a moment for her mother’s words to register. “Already mar... he didn’t... are you saying that he didn’t divorce his first wife... that he is still married to her?” It was too good to be true. If Edward was still married to his first wife when he married Serena...

Bernie couldn’t deny it, her mother’s gossip was exactly the news she wanted to hear. “Oh mother!” She threw her arms around her mother’s neck and hugged her. Margaret froze, but patted her back gingerly. “You have no idea how much this means to me,” she smiled at her and stood. “Thank you…”

Margaret nodded and picked up the book she had tucked down the side of the chair. As she began to read, Bernie knew she had been dismissed, that her mother was still not prepared to put their falling out behind them. But in that moment, she felt closer to her mother than she had in a very long time.

Bernie smiled down at her, leaned forward and placed a quick kiss to her cheek. They had a long way to go but as Bernie left her childhood home, she no longer felt the heaviness in her heart that had become so familiar to her in the last few weeks. 

-x-

The scrape of the slat on the door brought Serena out of her though and she closed her eyes briefly, sending up a prayer to anyone who was listening. Had she not suffered enough 'treatment' for one day?

"Are you Serena?"

The voice was young, inquisitive, and bright. Completely different to the harsh tones of the staffers. 

"Y... yes," she said, looking toward the door where she saw a friendly face looking in at her through the slat. 

"My name is Jason," he beamed. "Bernie said you might need a friend."

Serena blinked, confused, but she couldn't help the little flutter in her stomach at the mention of Bernie's name. "Bernie..." she whispered, it brought tears to her eyes. “She... she was right,” she got to her feet and joined Jason at the door. “I do need a friend.”

“Well, I’ll be your friend,” he said as though it were a serious business dealing. “I’m a patient too but I’m not mad, Bernie said you’re not mad either.” Serena could see that he definitely wasn’t. “They make me mop the floors in here once a week,” he explained, his face scrunching with disgust as though he were thinking that the asylum was a lost cause for cleanliness. She couldn’t have agreed more. “I don’t mind it but it is quite boring,” he said matter-of-factly.

Serena laughed, pleased yet a little overwhelmed to have someone to talk to. “It sounds it,” she said.

“But now that we’re friends, I can see you when I come in,” he smiled.

“I’d like that very much,” she replied, her voice catching in her throat. 

Jason frowned suddenly. “You’re crying,” he said and Serena quickly wiped at the tears on her face. “Have I don’t something wrong?”

“No,” Serena laughed again. It felt good. “You’ve just made me very happy.” Jason smiled. “And I just miss my friend and my daughter.”

“I miss my mother,” Jason nodded in understanding. “But maybe Bernie will come back to visit and until she does, we have each other.”

Serena smiled sadly. “Yes we do.” She hadn’t really spoken to anyone since Bernie had left and she didn’t quite realise what her current isolation was doing to her until this conversation. Her heart swelled at the kindness Jason had shown and at the thought that Bernie was still trying to look out for her. “I’m glad we’re friends,” she said as she reached her hand through the window. Jason took hold of it and squeezed her fingers, offering her another friendly smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Serena and Jason have finally met! This makes me a little weepy if I’m honest. I’m so pathetic! Giving myself feels with my own bloody writing – so sad!
> 
> I hope you like it. Coming up is another Berena scene, a little more Jason and a big twist that involves Edward. Spoilers :P I know, I’m such a twat! 
> 
> Remember to let me know what you thought. I hope you're still enjoying it xxx


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I typed this up on my lunch break today, eating free cheese and carrot chutney sandwiches. Who doesn't love a free lunch? This is the only good thing about your office being overtaken by 70 kids at a summer school for 11-18 year olds. We get to have the leftovers from lunch. Woohoo! I was really hoping for a piece of the cake that was handed out before they went back into the rehearsal studio but they managed to eat the whole thing. The fuckers.
> 
> Anyway, now that we've discussed the vitally important details of my free lunch, we can move onto a new chapter! Yey. However, I'm not massively happy with this one. There's a lot of information in it and I've tried to get across what has been happening in the background without getting too bogged down in the details. But we have a good chunk of Berena in this chapter because it hurt to not have them together in the last one.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this chapter and I'd love to know what you think about it. There's a little surprise appearance at the end of this chapter, I think some will be happy, some won't be... intrigued? You'll have to keep reading, haha.
> 
> Special thanks to the other half who did a bit of editing on this chapter for me while I cooked tonight. Her English is better than mine and English isn't even her first language. The shame! Thanks babe! 3
> 
> Thank you to everyone following along and commenting. You all mean the absolute world to me!
> 
> xxx

Getting back into the asylum wasn't as tricky as Bernie thought it would be and it made her nervous. Marcus had once again secured her visit as Nurse Lister but she could tell he was nervous too.

"I've mentioned in the letter that there may be two of you," Marcus said as they sat together in Bernie's living room the night before her scheduled visit.

Bernie looked over at him with narrowed eyes. "Why?"

Marcus sighed. "It's more believable if there are two of you to observe the inmates," he said, refilling his glass with the single malt Kate had brought in for them. "I think you should take Dominic."

Bernie rolled her eyes. "The more of us that are there, the more noticeable we will be," she argued. "Besides, I need you and Dominic to keep a close eye on Edward." Everyone who was helping Serena was filled in on what she had discovered during her visit with her mother. Sasha had been looking into Edward's first wife and as if by some miracle, he'd actually found the parish they had married in. Everyone at The Clinic was keeping their ears to the ground, listening for any information on what Edward Campbell might be planning. However, it was Marcus and Dominic were key to their plan, if Edward was planning to leave, they'd be in the best position to find out. And if Bernie was going to get Serena out of the asylum, she knew her chances would be higher if Edward was still in Holby. She knew she probably didn't have much time, she needed to move fast.

"Please consider it," Marcus begged. "If they know you're not supposed to be there you can say goodbye to your career," he paused. "And I don't trust those guards... you've seen the women in there, what they do to them..."

Bernie held up a hand to silence him and shook her head. The guards who worked in the asylums were not respectable men. Everyone knew the women and children were at risk of abuse, living conditions were something the Medical Association were working on across the country but they had yet to reach Holby. Bernie couldn't allow herself to dwell on it, couldn't allow her thoughts to wonder about the possibilities of what Serena was going through in there... how much of an easy target she could be in isolation. Even in that moment, Bernie felt weak, as though it were all hopeless. She couldn't afford to be in that state of mind, it would do nothing to help Serena.

"I'll think about it," she said after a moment and it seemed to calm him a little. But she didn't need to think about it, she had already made up her mind to go in alone.

The cell was unlocked for her and she waited until the guard left before she opened the door and slipped inside. She froze at what she saw.

Serena lay on her side against the wall. The same worn dress she'd had on when Bernie first managed to visit her. She was covered in dirt, the brown stains around the sleeves of her dress a sure sign that she had at some point been bleeding. Her hair was shorn close to her head, the few scabs on her scalp were probably from the badly sharpened scissors that had been used. Bernie knelt down beside her as quietly as she could, she was sleeping and she didn't want to frighten her.

"Serena?" She tried to speak in a whisper. "Serena, darling?" Serena's eyes opened slowly and Bernie could tell she was disoriented. She sat up so fast that Bernie had to scramble out of the way. "It's me," she said quickly, reaching for her.

Serena flinched but stilled when Bernie's hands touched her shoulders. "Bernie?" Serena's hands reached up to touch her cheeks. "Oh god..." she flung herself at her. "Bernie..."

Bernie had little option than to hold her lover. She ignored the pungent smell that hit her nose, a mixture of stale sweat and urine. She held Serena tighter, pressing her nose into her neck in the hopes that she might still catch her familiar scent, the one that had long since left the pillow on her side of the bed.

"I didn't think you were coming," Serena whispered. Her voice was quiet but it sounded hoarse, as if she'd shouted herself raw. The thought made her stomach uneasy.

"I promised you I would," Bernie pulled back and looked into her eyes. "I would never break a promise to you."

Serena gave a watery smile. "This isn't in your control," she said, her hands left Bernie and lifted to touch her short hair self-consciously. "I must look a fright..."

"No," Bernie said, catching Serena's hands and holding them tightly. "I'm so glad to be here with you."

Serena's smile was weak and when Bernie leaned in to kiss her, she ducked away. "Don't," she said. "I must smell..."

"I don't care," Bernie said truthfully. "I won't give up until I feel your lips against mine."

Serena laughed softly. They often said those exact words to each other in the privacy of their bedroom. Early morning teasing when one of them had to leave before the other. I'm not letting you out of bed until you've kissed me... It had been Serena who started it and if Bernie's memory served her correctly, she had been late for work that day. She could see the same memory in Serena's eyes and this time when Bernie leaned forward to kiss her, she didn't pull away.

"Tell me what happened?" Bernie asked softly as she pulled away.

Serena looked down at the floor between them where they were still knelt. "Treatment started the day after you were here," her eyes filled with tears but didn't fall. She lifted her hands and Bernie saw how red and sore her wrists were. "I... fought them the first time and since then... they've tied me down..."

Bernie's heart shattered. "Serena..." words failed her. She took hold of Serena's hands once again and brought them to her lips where she kissed each palm. "I have some ointment that will help," she said, turning toward her bag and rifling through it.

"It hasn't been too bad so far," Serena continued. "Not compared to what we've seen on patients."

Bernie looked up at her and frowned. She noticed a dark mark on her neck, just underneath the collar of her dress. She pulled it down to reveal a big purple bruise. This had been done recently. "Who did this?" She asked, her anger coursing through her veins.

"Venesection and cupping glasses," Serena said after a moment.

Bernie felt her anger rising and took a breath in an attempt to calm herself. "Is it just on your chest or..." she couldn't bring herself to ask. Serena sighed and began to unfasten the buttons on her dress. Bernie quickly took off her cloak and draped it around Serena's shoulders after she took off the dress completely.

She was sat in front of Bernie, completely naked. Her beautiful, soft skin was covered in cuts and dark bruises from the cups. Bernie's breath caught in her chest, she wanted to weep for her, to hold her. But the way Serena held herself told Bernie that she didn't want to be comforted, so she remained silent and set to work.

Despite Serena's unwillingness to talk about what had been done to her, it wasn't difficult for Bernie to guess what she had endured. The treatment of those unfortunate enough to find themselves in an asylum was barbaric. Held underwater as icy as the Thames for long periods of time, starved and beaten for any signs of resistance, held in isolation and straitjackets for not following orders. They were often noted as the lucky ones. However, the unlucky were operated on, dissected by surgeons for 'medical purposes' and furthering their understanding of the human body. They preyed on the weak and Bernie loathed them for it.

Eventually, when she could no longer stand the silence, she began to tell Serena about Elinor. How Sasha praised her for her hard work on her studies, how she was learning to make bread with Kate, and how she had taken to tying red bows in Bernie's hair.

Serena smiled the first genuine smile Bernie had seen on her since she arrived. "I'd like to see that," she laughed softly.

"And you will," Bernie replied with a confidence she didn't quite feel inside. She leaned forward and kissed Serena on her forehead.

"Do you have any news of Edward?" Serena asked.

"Yes," she said as she finished Serena's treatment and began packing away her bag. "I found out some information about him... damaging information. I think... we may have found a way to ensure your release." She kept her eyes on what she was doing, fearing what she might find if she were to look up.

Serena reached out to her, stilling her movements and forcing her to look at her. Serena's eyes were wide and filled with unshed tears. "Are... are you sure?" She asked, her voice hesitant.

Bernie looked down for a moment, knowing that what she was about to tell Serena could hurt her. She looked back up at her after taking a deep breath. "Did you know that Edward was married once before?" Serena frowned. "That he was still married to someone else when he married you?"

"He can't have been... he... he always said he..." her voice was beginning to crack and eventually she had to stop to give into a nasty sounding cough.

Bernie told Serena everything she knew, everything her mother had said, everything Sasha had been able to find out about the first wife. "Have you heard him mention her?" Bernie asked. Serena shook her head. "We're going to see the Magistrates in a few days," she continued. "We're asking for an annulment..." she paused and tried to gauge her reaction to the news. There was nothing. "Would... how do you feel about that?"

"I no longer care about our marriage," she said through gritted teeth. "I haven't cared about it or him for a long time."

"With an annulment, Edward will no longer have power over you," Bernie explained. "They will release you from here, your dowry and your father's house will be passed back to you."

"How can you be sure?" There was caution in Serena's voice and Bernie could understand that she didn't want to get her hopes up.

"Because we think that Edward will try to leave Holby and when he does we'll be waiting for him," Bernie was confident, her deep rooted hatred for the man evident. "The judges will see this for what it is, will see Edward for who he is."

"But what if he doesn't..."

"He will," Bernie assured her. "Sasha has been digging into his background and I think we're all finally seeing Edward for who he really is. All he cares about is wealth and status and he will go to any lengths to keep it. That's why he had you sent here, he wanted you out of the way..." Bernie sighed. "At the soonest opportunity he will leave Holby and I'm certain that he will have your dowry and the deeds to your father's house with him." She was convinced of it, they all were. She opened her mouth to continue, to tell Serena about everything Sasha had found but the way she was looking at her gave her a moment's pause.

"You look tired," Serena said, her voice laced with worry.

Bernie scoffed and shook her head. "I don't matter," she said. "All that matters is getting you out of here..."

"You do matter," Serena interrupted. "You matter to me." Bernie smiled at her. "You need to rest."

Bernie let out a small laugh. "As it turns out, I no longer sleep very well without you by my side." Serena smiled sadly and Bernie shrugged. "So you see, I must focus on getting you out of here so that I can get rid of these dark circles under my eyes."

Serena laughed again and turned to lean back against Bernie. Bernie wrapped her arms around her, pulling the cloak around her tighter and kissing her temple.

"I miss you," Serena whispered.

Bernie felt tears prick the corner of her eyes. "I miss you too."

They sat like that for a moment, just enjoying the closeness that they had been denied and missed so much but a sudden movement in the doorway caught Bernie's eyes.

"Jason!" She smiled when she recognised who it was.

Jason held up a dirty mop. "I'm pretending to clean," he said, his eyes drifting to the end of the corridor. "I heard the guards say they would be coming to collect you."

"Thank you Jason," Serena smiled at him and Bernie felt a spark of warmth in her heart at the thought that Jason had kept his word. She vowed right then to do something for him, she would not leave him in this hell.

"Keep a look out," she instructed.

Jason nodded. "This is just like spying. My mother always said I'd make a good spy," he smiled brightly.

Bernie couldn't help but smile at his enthusiasm. "Make some noise when they're coming."

"Yes, Major," he saluted her, propped his mop on his shoulder and marched out of sight. Bernie looked down at Serena with a raised eyebrow.

"I told him about your military background," she said sheepishly as she sat up and turned to look at her. "He was very impressed."

"Does it impress you?" Bernie asked, lifting a hand to stroke Serena's short hair.

"Very much so," Serena smirked.

"Good," Bernie leaned in and kissed her, lingering just a moment. With their eyes closed, it was easy to pretend that they were sitting in bed together, to imagine that none of this had happened. Reality crashed down around her when she opened her eyes. She helped Serena put her dress back on and pulled her in for a hug. She didn't want to let go.

"I love you," Serena whimpered as she held onto her.

"I love you too," Bernie tried to hold back her tears."Stay strong," she said, kissing her one last time.

"The floor is slippery, I'm cleaning today." Jason's voice rang out loud and clear in the corridor. There was a scuffle and he went silent.

"I'll come back," Bernie promised.

"I know you will," Serena pushed the cloak and medical bag into Bernie's arms. "Now go!"

Bernie fled the room just as the guard who had led her into the cell appeared at the door. There were two of them this time and Bernie felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. The men narrowed their eyes at her and she swallowed her nerves.

"This woman was in terrible condition," she admonished them, closing the door to Serena's cell behind her. "It has taken me all this time to gain her trust so I could treat her wounds. There are rules and regulations that you are not following." She was pleased by the nervous look the guards shared.

Bernie watched one of the guards lock Serena's cell and then turned on her heel to leave. As she passed Jason who was leaning against the wall, his mop still in hand, she noticed he had a split lip. One of the guards had hit him, that was what the noise had been. She turned to glare at the guards as they made their way toward her and Jason.

"I will be reporting you to the Medical Association Board for the inhumane treatment of your patients," she seethed at the two men before circling an arm around Jason's shoulders and leading him out of the isolation wing.

"I'm sorry Jason," she said after a moment as they made their toward the spot where Jason slept.

"What for?" He asked with a frown.

"I'm the reason you got hit by one of those guardsmen," she said.

Jason stopped walking and turned to look at Bernie. "But you didn't tell him to," he looked puzzled. "You have no reason to be sorry."

Bernie's fondness for the young man was growing. "You were out there because I asked you to be," she explained.

"Yes," he spoke slowly, as if he suspected Bernie didn't understand him. "But it wasn't you who hit me. It should be the guard who apologises, not you." He smiled and continued on his way through the corridor.

Bernie watched him with a smile and shook her head. She really rather liked Jason.

-x-

Bernie sat nervously in the front row at the court house. She was sitting with Dominic and Fletch while Marcus and Sasha stepped up to speak to the judge when their case was called. They had been working tirelessly to find out more information on Edward's first marriage and they knew they couldn't bring this to court unless they had evidence that would warrant a summons for Edward to appear before the courts too. It had been a very welcome surprise when Sasha had banged on Bernie's door, disrupting her sleep to show her what he had found. They were in court two days after Bernie had visited Serena.

"An annulment," the judge looked up from the paperwork he had been handed.

"Yes your Honour," Sasha confirmed. "We're petitioning on behalf of a friend who is unable to be here today." The judge nodded for him to continue. "It has been brought to our attention that Doctor Edward Campbell entered into a marriage with Serena McKinnie under false pretences."

"How so?" The judge asked.

"We have discovered that Doctor Campbell was already married when he entered into matrimony with Serena McKinnie," Marcus supplied. "His first marriage had not ended but Doctor Campbell saw it fit to abandon his wife and child when he spent their inheritance, leaving them destitute." The judge nodded in understanding but Bernie's palms were sweating as she fidgeted nervously in her seat.

"Why is the second Mrs Campbell not present herself?" The judge asked, peering down at Marcus and Sasha over the top of his spectacles.

Marcus looked over his shoulder at Bernie for a moment, an action the judge noticed. "Doctor Edward Campbell had his wife committed."

The judge raised his eyebrows. "Is her mind addled?"

"No sir," Sasha said quickly. "Mrs Campbell, who is a respected surgeon your Honour, is of as sound mind as you and I."

"Then what was the reason for such an action?" he asked.

"It is my understanding that we were given no reason," Marcus said, looking over his shoulder at Bernie once more.

The judge took off his glasses and his eyes focused on Bernie. "Do you have something you wish to add, miss?"

Bernie stood up. "Yes, I do," she said as she walked forward to join Marcus and Sasha.

"Your name?" He asked, putting his glasses back on and picking up a pen from his desk.

"Doctor Berenice Wolfe," she said, watching the judge write it on the paper in front of him. "I was a Major with the British Army and I now work with Doctor Serena Campbell."

"Yes," the judge looked up at her. "I've heard of you. You've been making waves at The General these past few months, have you not?"

Bernie frowned and shared a confused look with Marcus. "Yes sir," she said. "I'm not sure about making waves but..."

"You have those arrogant, egotistical men in a panic," he smiled down at her. "I'd say you're doing extremely well."

Bernie blushed. The judge, who was black, knew of her struggles of trying to make a difference in a world that the white man dominated. She felt a glimmer of hope in the pit of her stomach. "Thank you," she said.

"Perhaps we could continue this conversation in my office," he said, standing up without warning and indicating for the young man who was taking dictation to follow them.

Bernie looked to Sasha who shrugged. "We better go with him," he said indicating for Fletch and Dominic to follow them too.

"Now tell me, Major," the judge sat down behind his large desk and gestured to the two seats in front of it. Bernie took one and Sasha took the other, Marcus, Dominic and Fletch stood behind them. "What did you wish to add?"

"Serena... Mrs Campbell and I, we became friends," she said after a moment. "It was I who... Mrs Campbell and her daughter live with me your Honour, I helped them escape the abusive household they lived in."

"Did he ever strike Mrs Campbell?" The judge asked.

"Wait," Sasha held up his hand. "Why are we in here?" There was suspicion in his voice.

The judge nodded in understanding. "Edward Campbell is an influential man in Holby, he may have eyes and ears in the court rooms."

Bernie looked over at Marcus with a worried expression and he leaned into Dominic, whispering something into his ear. Dominic excused himself from the room and Marcus gave her a reassuring nod. She knew he had sent Dominic to The General to keep an eye on Edward.

"Would you care to continue Major?" The judge asked. Bernie noted the use of her title.

"Yes," Bernie said, picking up the question he had asked. "I witnessed it the night I removed them from their home."

"And I assume that you, along with your comrades, wish to release Mrs Campbell from the madhouse?"

"Yes," Bernie nodded. "Doctor Campbell has imprisoned our friend and colleague for his own gains. We believe Doctor Campbell is planning to leave with Mrs Campbell's dowry," she said. "Mrs Campbell is the daughter of a lawyer, your Honour."

"Yes," the judge nodded. "I am very aware of the McKinnie's. I was a scribe for George McKinnie, Mrs Campbell's late father. He gave me a chance when no one else would."

Bernie's heart filled with hope and she knew she needed to take advantage of this new information. "I hear he was a good man," she replied.

"He was," he nodded. "He would be devastated to know what has befallen his daughter." He shook his head. "If I am to take this forward, I need evidence of this first marriage."

"I have the papers," Sasha said, fishing them out of the folder he had in his lap. "Copies of the marriage certificate taken from the parish in which they were wed." This is what Sasha had woken Bernie up for, it was the whole reason they were able to bring this before a judge.

The judge collected the papers and looked them over. "Marjorie Campbell," he read the name under Edward's. "Have you located her?"

Sasha shook his head. "Unfortunately not," he said. "I have a friend looking into it for us."

"If I am to call Doctor Campbell in to face the courts, I will need as much evidence as you can get but I think this marriage certificate will go a long way."

"Is it enough for an annulment?" Bernie asked.

"If you have the wife testify," he said. "We need her testimony or these marriage certificates can be ruled uncertified. It's very easy to pay for such documents if you have the money." Bernie's heart dropped into her stomach and she looked over at Sasha who patted her knee sympathetically.

"We'll find her," he said with a reassuring smile. He turned his attention back to the judge. "We're concerned that Doctor Campbell will attempt to flee before we can bring him to trial."

"I'll have him incarcerated," the judge replied, enthusiastically signing a piece of paper and handing it to the young man taking notes of their session. "If you'll excuse me, I must get back to my court room." He stood up and moved around his desk, indicating for the young man to follow him. As he passed Bernie, he laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. "I'll do everything I can to help you," he said. "I owe it to George." Bernie smiled up at him and as he was about to leave, she realised she didn't know his name. He turned to look at her with a smile when she asked. "Eric Griffin," he said. "Give Serena my regards if you get the chance. We were good friends once too."

Bernie watched him leave the office and stored that information in her mind for later. It was good to know that he and Serena had once been friends, she prayed it meant that Judge Griffin would rule in their favour. She let out a relieved sigh.

"Don't relax yet," Marcus said crouching down next to her. "The judge might be on our side but if we can't find this woman, the certificate can be dismissed."

"We'll find her," Fletch said defiantly. "She'll confirm the bastard's first marriage and we'll get Serena out of that place."

Bernie gave him a grateful smile. "We need to get her out of there fast," she said. "She was in bad shape when I visited her... she's strong and she's fighting but with the treatment in the Holby asylums... we haven't yet reached the standards practised in London and I fear that they will break her."

"Serena won't give up," Sasha said. "She'll fight because she knows we're working to get her out. She's fighting for Ellie..." He glanced over at Marcus and Fletch before focusing on Bernie again. "She's fighting for you, Bernie."

It was the last straw. Bernie's heart burst in her chest, her tears pouring down her cheeks before she could stop them. "I'm fighting for her too," she whispered. She knew that Sasha most likely knew of their relationship but Fletch and Marcus didn't. It could be of no surprise to them, Marcus had his suspicions but she had never confirmed them. It was clear to anyone who knew Bernie that she cared deeply for Serena and Ellie, looked after them as if they were family. But did they know she and Serena were lovers? The way that Sasha embraced her, the way Fletch and Marcus laid gentle hands on her back and shoulders, told her they did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ey! Ric Griffen. There he is. I personally do quite like Ric, I don't know why but may have a lot to do with the scenes when Bernie or Serena are teasing him. Ha!
> 
> Just in case anyone was wondering, Venesection is the practise of drawing blood from a patient by making small but deep cuts. This was thought to reduce fevers and troubled minds. Nice.
> 
> Thank you for reading and remember to let me know what you think about this chapter. I'm hoping to get another update out soon and I should warn you that there is only about 2-3 chapters left of this one. It's been an absolute pleasure and I'll miss it but I have something else in store for you that I think you'll like just as much. Love to you all! xxx


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo...
> 
> I know...
> 
> Don’t throw things at me... please?
> 
> It’s been a year since I last updated this fic. No, has it? A whole year? More than a year in fact. I’m so ashamed. Anyhoo, are you still there? I’ve had a lot of requests about finishing this fic so here we are. I had always planned to finish this fic, it holds a very special place in my heart and I had meant to type up my notes much sooner. But, as those who follow me on tumblr will know, real life really knocked me this year so I haven’t been writing as much I wanted to. But I’m back! I’m here, I’m queer, someone buy me a beer! No actually, beer is the last thing I need right now. The reason I’m able to post this tonight is because I’m sick and had the day off. So no beer for me.
> 
> Good god, I’d forgot how much I ramble!
> 
> Moving on. Here is the penultimate chapter to The Clinic. It’s been a long time coming and I’m sorry for making you all wait so long. I’m also sorry if this chapter feels rushed. There was a lot to do and say in this chapter. I did consider splitting this one into two parts but I felt it would have dragged. There is a lot that happens away from Bernie and trying to fit her in it in some way just felt unnecessary.
> 
> Despite that, I hope you still enjoy it. Thank you for sticking with this and with me. I am eternally grateful for all the support you guys have given me.
> 
> Love to you all!
> 
> Rex xxx

 

Chapter 18

Edward paced back and forth inside the cell, his face red with anger. He’d been found in his office, his bag filled with clothes and other personal belongings but there had been no sign of Serena’s dowry or the deeds to the family home. Bernie watched him through the open slat of his cell, he hadn’t yet realised that she was there. Sasha was standing off to the side chewing on his thumbnail, his eyes betrayed his worry and she knew he was concerned about allowing her into the prison. But Bernie wasn’t going to make a scene, she didn’t even really want to talk to him. She only wanted to see him in his cell, to see him locked up like the despicable animal he was.

“We should leave,” Sasha said after a moment.

Bernie nodded but she couldn’t take her eyes away from the cell. Edward must have heard Sasha talking to her because he suddenly stopped pacing and rushed to the door where he peered through the slat.

“Who’s there?!” He demanded to know.

Bernie narrowed her eyes at him and was satisfied by the shocked look on Edward’s face when he realised who it was.

“What… what are you doing here?” He asked. “Are you the reason those bastards dragged me out of the hospital?”

“You brought all of this on yourself,” Bernie said with a calm voice. “You only have yourself to blame.”

Edward looked furious. “You were the cause of this,” he spat. “My life was perfect before you came into it.”

“Only you thought that,” Bernie replied. “Your family was unhappy and you didn’t care. You treated them as though they were accessories in your life.”

“They were mine! You had no right to interfere,” he hissed.

“I had every right!” Bernie argued. “It wouldn’t have mattered who it was, if I saw a man abusing a woman or a child, I would always step in. But if you think I was the reason Serena left you, you couldn’t be more wrong. Her leaving you was always inevitable.”

“I won’t let you get away with this!” Edward banged on the cell door as if to scare her but Bernie had no reaction. She wasn’t afraid of him.

“I don’t think you’ll ever have an opportunity,” she said with a cold voice. “You’re going to spend the rest of your pitiful life behind bars,” she leaned closer to the slat so that only Edward could hear her. “I can’t say that Serena or I will spend much time thinking about you but perhaps we’ll stop by once a year, just to watch you waste away in here.”

“You need my permission if you want her out of the asylum,” there was anger in Edward’s voice as he spoke but the only thing that Bernie could hear, was the desperation.

“We don’t need anything from you,” she spat. “You are nothing, worth nothing. Your words are meaningless now and you’ll learn why when you stand before the Magistrates.”

There was panic in Edward’s eyes as Bernie began to move away. “What do you mean by that? He asked. “Tell me what you meant by that!”

Bernie smirked and without giving him any sort of reply, she turned on her heel and began to walk away with Sasha.

Bernie climbed into the carriage Sasha had arranged for them to use and let out a sigh. She hadn’t planned for a confrontation with Edward but the confused and worried look in his eyes gave her some satisfaction. She wanted him to suffer, just as he had ensured Serena would. She wanted him to feel alone, abandoned, just as his first wife and child must have. She’d never felt so ruthless before, had never experienced this level of hatred for someone. She wondered at times what had become of her.

“Its love,” her father had said one night when they were alone at The Clinic. “Someone hurt the person you love, tried to take her away... love can be a powerful thing Bernie. It does things to us, makes us capable of things we never thought possible. Keep hold of it... of her.”

There was regret in her father’s voice. Heavy and deep. The kind of regret that took hold of him many years ago. Bernie didn’t want that. She didn’t want regret, she didn’t want to be filled with so much hate...

“Are you alright?” Sasha asked, interrupting her thoughts.

She nodded. “I just want this to be over,” she said softly.

“It will be,” Sasha gave her a kind smile but Bernie could see that it didn’t reach his eyes. He’d been quiet all morning, always avoiding her eyes as if he was afraid she would see something. And she did see something, she saw worry.

“What is it?” she asked.

Sasha put on a bright smile. “Nothing...”

“You’ve been hiding something all day,” she said softly.

Sasha turned his head to look out the window and sighed. “I’ve had word from my friend who was trying to track down Marjorie and her child.”

Bernie could tell by the look on his face that it wasn’t good news. “Just tell me, whatever it is.”

“Marjorie and her son were taken into the workhouse...”

Bernie’s stomach dropped. “Are they dead?”

Sasha opened up the file that he had taken to carrying everywhere with him. “Marjorie Campbell died from small pox two years ago,” he handed her the death certificate.

Bernie closed her eyes a moment and took a calming breath. “And her son?” She opened her eyes and looked over at Sasha.

“We haven’t found a death certificate for him,” he said. “We have a birth record and an entry in the workhouse records that he was taken away by a relative after Marjorie’s death.”

Bernie frowned. “But Marjorie didn’t have any living family.”

Sasha nodded. “It could have been Edward but so far we have no evidence.”

Bernie looked at her friend with wide eyes. “If it was him, he could have hidden the boy anywhere.” Sasha agreed with her. Bernie gently pressed her index fingers into eyes, she felt exhausted. “Do you have a name for him?” She asked after a moment.

Sasha flipped through his file until he found a piece of folded paper. He unfolded it and scanned the information in side. “Jason Campbell,” he said. “We’re already checking local workhouses and looking at the ones in London but honestly, unless we get a clue from Edward, I doubt we’ll ever find him.”

Bernie took the piece of paper Sasha held. It was the letter from his friend. She scanned the writing until she found the name.

Jason.

Jason wasn’t a popular name in this day and age, you didn’t come across it very often. But could it be that the Jason she had met in the asylum, the very same asylum Edward had placed Serena, was Marjorie’s son? Was the world really that small? Or was Edward just a creature of habit? He’d got away with it once, why would he change if he thought he could get away with it again?

“Check the Holby Asylum too,” she said after a moment.

Sasha looked confused. “You think he had his son locked up too?”

“I think he’s capable of anything,” she shrugged. “But I met a young man there, I asked for his help in keeping an eye on Serena. His name is Jason and he looks to be around the right age for our Jason Campbell. If it is him, they will have his name in their records.”

Sasha was scribbling notes on a piece of paper in his file as Bernie spoke. “They’re public records,” he said, his eyes hopeful for the first time that day. “I should be able to view them this afternoon.”

-x-

The asylum had one Jason in their books who fit the description and age of the Jason they were looking for. Sasha had gathered everyone together that night at The Clinic to update them on what he had found.

“Jason Hayes. Hayes was Marjorie’s maiden name,” Sasha said, handing a photo to Bernie. “According to the records, an employer had him committed for his erratic behaviour.”

The kind, smiling face of the young man she had befriended in the asylum looked up at her from her hands. “He isn’t erratic,” she said to him. “He may be of simple mind but he’s not a risk to himself or anyone else.”

“You only see him for a few minutes at a time,” Sasha said carefully. “Perhaps there’s more to it than what you’re seeing?”

Bernie scoffed. “I’d be more inclined to believe that Edward fabricated the story just to get him locked away so that no one would discover his past life.”

“I think I would like to speak to him,” Sasha announced. “If we can’t have Marjorie, then perhaps Jason can give a statement. Tell us what happened.”

“I’m sure he will,” Bernie said. “He has a practical outlook on life; everything is either black or white. I’m sure if were to question him, he would show you himself.”

“Do you want to be there?” Sasha asked.

Bernie sighed. She did, she did want to be there to support Jason but she knew that their interactions before now would hurt them. Edward’s lawyers could claim that Bernie had coached Jason, told him what to say just to get Serena out of the asylum.

“It’s best I don’t,” she said regrettably.

Preparations for the court case were well underway and Bernie knew they were as prepared as they ever would be.

Jason was the key to the whole case, a turn of events that had taken them all by surprise.

As Jason explained, Marjorie had penned a letter to her husband while she lay in her death bed. She had begged him to save Jason from the workhouse, to take care of him. In an astonishing show of mercy, Edward had taken pity on his wife and had indeed withdrawn Jason from the workhouse. He had been put to work as a stable hand at The General, with the strict instruction that he was not to call Edward father, nor speak to him in public. They met once a week at Jason’s lodgings, a boarding house for young men working at the hospital. Jason had never understood why his father was so strict with him but he had carried out his orders, just as his mother had always taught him. Life for Jason was going well until one morning he saw Edward with a woman and a little girl.

For reasons Jason had never understood, Edward had been furious when he asked who they were. Two days later, he found himself sitting in a cell in Holby’s Asylum.

As Sasha retold Jason’s story, Bernie could feel her blood begin to boil.

“You realise that once Jason tells his story to the courts, they will release him...” Sasha began carefully.

“He’ll be on the streets,” Raf observed.

“Or back in the workhouse,” Marcus added.

“He’d be better off on the streets,” Raf countered.

“He won’t be doing either,” Bernie said. “I’ll find something for him.”

“Are you prepared to take on someone like him?” Marcus asked, not unkindly.

“After what he’s done for Serena? What he’s about to do for all of us? How could I not help him in return?” Bernie had made a vow to help Jason and she would keep it. “And if you think that Serena will allow anyone to toss him aside when she finds out that he is Ellie’s half-brother then you’re sorely mistaken.”

The others shared a look between them and it was Morven who spoke first. “I’m sure we’ll find a home and a place for Jason,” she said calmly. “But I think the more pressing matter is this case. We need to put all of our focus on getting Serena home.”

Bernie gave her a smile and nodded. “You’re right,” she said, looking toward Sasha. “Walk me through the case. We’ve got two days to prepare.”

The trial day approached sooner than Bernie had mentally prepared herself for. She knew that this was their last chance, that a lot rode on Sasha and his knowledge of the law and this case. If they lost this, she would lose Serena forever. The thought had made her physically sick, causing Kate to fret over her as she prepared to leave the house that morning. What made matters worse, was that the courts would not allow women to be witness to the proceedings. She seethed with anger when the porter at the courts directed her to the waiting room where a few other worried looking women were waiting.

“I’ll come and update you when I can,” Dominic promised before entering the court with Marcus, Sasha and Raf.

“Try not to fret,” her father said, sitting down beside her. “Sasha knows what he’s doing in there.”

Bernie rubbed her hands over her face. “I just hate that I can’t be there,” she replied. “I hate that Serena will be alone when she enters that room and one of the first people she will see will be Edward.”

“She’s a tough woman,” Howard wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “Seeing Edward in there isn’t going to unsettle her. Seeing him will strengthen her will to fight. Just like it did with you. You’re both strong enough to get through this.”

Bernie smiled at her father and rested her head on his shoulder. “Thank you,” she said quietly. “I really needed that.”

Howard pulled her into his side tighter and kissed the top of her head. “Would you like me to stay here with you?” He asked.

“You have patients to see,” Bernie pulled away.

“I can have them cancelled…” he began but Bernie shook her head.

“No,” she patted his hand. “Go. I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll stop by when I have a break in my schedule,” he promised. Bernie leaned forward and kissed his cheek, then watched him leave.

Dominic had kept his promise and repeatedly left the court room to update Bernie on proceedings. Things seemed to be going well but Edward’s lawyers were stalling for time, making the case drag through the morning and well into the afternoon. Sasha was holding his own in court, able to easily rebuff any arguments from Edward’s lawyers. But the same question kept arising, was Edward Campbell the _same_ Edward Campbell from before? Jason has identified Edward but the lawyers continued to prey on Jason’s mental health, giving the courts reason to doubt his testimony.

The agonising wait was driving Bernie mad and with it came the thoughts that she had tried to hold at bay.

What would they do if the court sided with Edward and Serena was sent back to the asylum? The thought filled her with dread, her chest felt heavy. She had always been so head strong, so sure that they would get Serena out. But with each passing hour, her conviction was wearing thin. What would she say to Ellie when she went home? If Serena was kept incarcerated, Bernie would have no right to keep Ellie close. What would Edward do with her?

Bernie covered her face with her hands and leaned forward, trying to suck in long, deep breaths to calm herself down. She knew she was beginning to lose it, to lose her strength...

“Serena...”

A door opened behind her and Bernie screwed her eyes shut. She couldn’t take it... she couldn’t bear to lose her...

“Bernie?”

Time stopped.

And Bernie stopped breathing.

Was she imaging it? That familiar voice... she kept her eyes closed, her head bowed onto her knees. If she looked up would she find no one there?

“Bernie?” The voice drew was closer. “Bernie...” closer still. Soft, well-known hands landed on the back of her neck, a cheek grazed her temple. “My love...” a whisper.

Bernie finally sat up, jarring backwards and away from the person in front of her. She clasped her hands over her mouth while she stared wide eyed into a face that she had longed to see. Longed to touch. She couldn’t believe it.

Serena...

It was Serena. Everything she had endured during her time in the asylum was evident on her face. She was bruised, her cheeks withdrawn. Her lips were dry and cracked; the scabs where her hair had been cut too close to her skin looked even worse in day light. But despite all of that, despite the neglect she had suffered, to Bernie, she was a sight for sore eyes.

She opened her mouth to say her name but nothing came out. A sob racked her body and she sucked in a breath of air she hadn’t realised she had starved herself of.

Bernie had hoped for this day, had been waiting for this day but now that it was here... the worry, the anger, the sorrow... the overwhelming joy... it all came crashing down around her, all at once. It was too much. She sobbed, unable to form words as she stared at the woman in front of her.

“Se... Serena...”

Serena’s arms were around Bernie’s neck before she could finish saying her name. Bernie allowed herself to be held, to be comforted. “Oh Bernie,” Serena pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Thank you...” she whispered. “Thank you for never giving up.”

Bernie pulled away and wiped at her tears. “I would never have given up,” she said, smiling at her. “No matter what... I promised Ellie that you’d be home and I swore to you that I’d bring...”

Serena’s lips pressed against Bernie’s, her arms pulling her into her body. Bernie sank into her, a smile pulling at her lips as she returned the kiss.

“Will you take me home?” Serena asked when she pulled away. Bernie caught the way her eyes glanced to the side. “Take us both home?”

Bernie looked up to see Jason standing with their friends. She laughed and nodded. “I knew you’d feel the same way about him,” she smiled back at Serena.

Serena’s eyes filled with tears as she smiled brightly. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too.” Bernie pressed a lingering kiss to Serena’s lips, more than happy to show anyone who saw them, just how much they loved each other.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A dagger to my heart! Please don’t hate me for the fact that I’ve been sitting on this chapter for the better part of a year... I’m sorry for making you wait for this!
> 
> For the record, I know Jason isn’t simple minded! Before anyone gets upset with me, remember I’m writing this in its setting, Victorian England. Interesting fact, autism was used to describe a type of schizophrenia in the early 1900’s. It wasn’t until the 1940’s that autism was recognised as the diagnosis that we know today. Aren’t you glad I’m back with all my random knowledge?
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter and that it was worth the wait. I promise to have the very final chapter out very soon!
> 
> Love to you all xxx


End file.
